


The Lost Boys

by hyunshalo



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 80s movies are superior, Alternate Universe - High School, Bang Chan is Whipped, Birthday, Chan, ChanLix, Fluff, Hwang Hyunjin Being an Asshole, Hwang Hyunjin is a Little Shit, Inverted Tropes, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, M/M, Mention of Death, Oh, The Lost Boys - Freeform, chan is a rich boi, chan rich, enjoy <3, felix - Freeform, help why do I never know what to tag, hospital stuff, hyunsung rivals, idk I might add more later we’ll see, kdrama vibes, mention of anxiety, photographer seungmin bc I love him, seaweed soup, stray kids - Freeform, you’ll see what I mean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunshalo/pseuds/hyunshalo
Summary: If you’ve come here expecting a Peter Pan au, I’m sorry to disappoint. This is not a story about magical fairies or evil pirates, and young boys who never grow up. In actuality, it’s a story of young boys whodo.After four years of living in Australia, Chan didn’t think, when he came back to Korea, that things were going to be that different. He definitely didn’t think that his six childhood friends, who were like brothers to him, would have grown into distant strangers, like ghosts passing each other in the hallway. Desperate to get his friends back together, as a way to escape his dark past, he enlists the help of a blonde-haired freckle-faced social butterfly Felix who happens to be the only string holding The Lost Boys together. Working alongside each other, the two learn how different their lifestyles and outlooks on life are, yet it’s their differences that show them just how right they are together.After all, a lost boy is only a lost boy until they are found.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 24
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

You know how, when you were younger, you would choose your friends by whoever sat next to you in class, or the first person that approached you in the playground? Maybe they shared their colouring pencils with you during free time, or their runaway ball would roll to a stop at your feet? Either way, the basis of which we chose our childhood friends was usually due to happenstance or trivial matters that would make you laugh fondly as an adult, in retrospect. However, that wasn’t the case for Chan. Before we get started, one thing you need to know about Chan is that he was an absolutely die-hard obsessor of _American 80’s movies_. Why 80’s movies? Chan couldn’t tell you for sure. It could be the funky fashion that was making a slow comeback into the modern world. Or, possibly because everyone had the same unruly curly hair that he had, often a messy mop atop his head, his eyelashes fluttering against the ends. But, it was most likely due to the fact that 80’s movies, to put it simply, were just _the best_. From _Sixteen Candles_ to _Ghostbusters_ , _The Goonies_ to _The Shining_ , you could bet your bottom dollar that Chan had seen them all. Originally, he’d started watching English movies to improve his English from a young age, but there was something so alluring about 80’s movies specifically, that Chan even bought an antique box-TV, complete with a VHS-player, and spent most of his childhood hunting down as many VHS tapes of the classic movies he could get his little hands on. He would stay up all night watching the entire trilogy of _Back To The Future_ over and over, he could recite _The Breakfast Club_ word-for-word, but of all the glorious movies to come out of this decade, none could compare to Chan’s ultimately favourite blockbuster cult classic of them all:

_The Lost Boys._

For those who have never seen the 1987 American teen black comedy horror, I recommend you do when you get the chance, but be wary as it may not be what you expect from the title. Though you’d be right to think that a movie as gory and crude as this one being a ten year old’s favourite would be cause for alarm, Chan’s parents were none the wiser. Growing up wealthy, whatever Chan wanted Chan got, his parents never ones to take a complete interest in _his_ interests, despite their belief that they were very involved in their son’s life. For all they knew, _The Lost Boys_ was a magical children’s movie spin-off of _Peter Pan_. They soon learnt how very _very_ wrong they were, the day Chan had turned eleven. 

Chan never really had _friends_. He was very well-liked by his peers and teachers, but he didn’t have anyone specific he would eat lunch with everyday, or someone to hang out with after school. So, when his eleventh birthday had approached and he craved to throw a birthday sleepover, Chan had no choice but to invite his entire class. His parents didn’t mind, there was more than enough room. As far as the actual birthday party celebrations, they went along swimmingly, all of Chan’s classmates marvelling at the expanse of his three-floor mansion-like humble abode. However, when it was time to watch a movie is where it all went downhill. Or, where our story begins, rather. 

Chan managed to locate- well, he got their live-in home-caretaker Mr Soo to locate a Korean-dubbed version of _The Lost Boys_ , Chan having only the subtitled version. He figured it would be easier to follow along if it was dubbed, Chan at this point having a higher understanding for English than most kids his age due to his diligent studying and fascination with western movies. With the lights shut off and the curtains drawn tightly, the 15-rated movie began, almost thirty fifth-graders blissfully having no idea what they had gotten themselves into. 

Needless to say, a movie about violent vicious vampires with many graphic images of gore (as well as a sex scene) didn’t bode well with Chan’s classmates. One by one, or a handful at a time, they would run out screaming bloody murder and crying out for their mothers, as if they were playing a game to see who could last the longest. In the end, the entire class called their parents to pick them up, leaving with a permanent scar in their psyche. All, but six boys. 

Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin. 

To shorten this unnecessarily long story, Chan could no longer say he didn’t really have any friends, as from that day on, he had six. Six friends, of which they created such a strong brotherhood, they were utterly inseparable. Calling themselves The Lost Boys, after the very movie that brought them together, they tore up the school halls and took the world by storm - as much as a group of elementary school students could - together. That was until the end of elementary school, when Chan’s family decided to uproot their lives and migrate south. To Australia.   
Chan didn’t want to go, of course, and he tried everything he could to prevent the inevitable from happening. Alas, what much could a thirteen year old do? He had no choice but to say goodbye to his best friends of two years, promising each other they would keep in touch. Chan vowed he would return to Korea one day, and they would be reunited once again. 

And that takes us to the _real_ start of our story, four years later, Chan walking off of an airport jetway at Incheon International Airport, rolling a black carry-on suitcase behind him. It was an ungodly hour of the night, some point between midnight and five in the morning. Chan couldn’t really tell but assumed, judging by the darkness that peered through the airport windows. A man wearing a way-too-prim suit stood at the gate, holding up a sign with Chan’s name written in Hangul. Chan sighed deeply, a smile inching onto his face as he pushed his headphones off his ears to rest against his neck. He strolled over to the man, greeting him politely with a shallow bow. The man tucked the sign into the inside of his blazer, returning Chan’s movements. “Hello, young sir. Welcome back to Korea. It’s been a long time. I hope your flight was pleasant.”

“Hello. It was, thank you for asking, Mr Soo.” Chan lied. The flight was anything but pleasant. An old man kept falling in and out of sleep beside him, fidgeting and twitching a little too much in Chan’s personal space, as well as the person behind him, who he liked to believe was a child for it was the only reason he would forgive them, had been kicking his seat, hopefully, out of boredom and not sadistically. “Also, I know it’s been a few years since I last saw you, but I remember telling you to just call me Chan, didn’t I?”

Mr Soo looked down, modestly. “Sorry, but I cannot do that.”

“Then call me Channie.” He looked up in alarm. “Either Chan or Channie, take your pick.” Chan grinned, playfully, his cheek muscles tensing to display tiny dimples at the corners of his mouth. 

Mr Soo cleared his throat, gesturing towards the way to baggage collection. “Shall we continue, Mr Chan?” Chan scrunched his mouth up, settling for what he was given, before nodding and following Mr Soo’s lead, the sound of his carry-on against the airport floor behind him. It felt weird to Chan, being back in Korea after all these years, but in a good way. The bustling atmosphere. Everything covered in his native language. Mr Soo. He hadn’t even left the airport, yet he already felt like he was at home. 

After collecting his luggage and going through a billion check-out points, Chan was finally able to exit the airport, walking into the chilly breeze that often accompanied an autumnal Korean night, very different to the warm Spring that he had just left behind. A sleek, black car was parked at the very front, Mr Soo rushing forward to open the backseat door for Chan before he could even reach for it. Chan thanked him politely, climbing in as his bags were inserted into the boot.   
The drive to Seoul wasn’t that long but it felt miles shorter, considering Chan managed to doze off in the middle of it, startling himself awake when the car parked. Scratching a hand through his dyed, blonde locks, he let out a yawn and groggily stumbled out of the car before Mr Soo could even unbuckle his seatbelt. 

There it was, illuminated by exterior lighting, the Bang residence, in Seoul, South Korea. The day Chan left Korea was the last time he had seen the modern, white block of a house in real life. There was a neat expanse of green preceding it, evidently still being maintained as even in the limited brightness, Chan could see the grass had been freshly cut. Large steps led up to the front door, a dark mahogany wood with an intricate door knocker. Mr Soo went ahead and unloaded Chan’s bags as the floppy-haired boy stared fondly, remembering the time he was playing _The Hunger Games_ with The Lost Boys on the grass, using a bow and suction-cupped arrows, and Minho almost took out Seungmin’s eye. Or, when they were all learning how to skateboard and Jisung fell over, scraping his knee against one of the steps but he didn’t cry or whine, instead he laughed it off and jumped back up ready to try again.   
It had been four years since Chan moved to Australia, however it had also been four years since Chan last spoke to any of The Lost Boys. Despite his determination to stay in contact, life did what it always did and moved on, their communication with each other slowly but surely decreasing into radio silence. He didn’t even know if any of them were still in Korea. Chan shook his thoughts off, deciding that was something to worry about in the morning. 

A loud echo ricocheted off the walls, as Chan and Mr Soo unlocked the front door and entered the foyer, the soft ceiling fixtures bouncing light off the sheen of the marble flooring. A long, extravagant looking strip of vermillion-coloured carpet stretched out from the front door to up the staircase, which branched off into two separate passageways at the top. Just as Chan remembered it. To his right was a wide opening to the living room instead of a door, and to the left was the massive double doors that led to the kitchen. Chan discarded his carry-on in the foyer, instantly wandering into the living room excitedly, and leaped onto the Italian-leather couch with a laugh. Spotting the TV remote control placed tidily on the coffee table parallel to him, he grabbed it and aimed it at the flatscreen. The blank screen switched on, playing _Arirang TV_ on full volume. Panicking as it was the middle of the night, Chan scrambled to shut it off just as Mr Soo entered the living room, trying to hide the stern look his face wanted to present. Chan shrugged sheepishly. He really hasn’t changed at all, Mr Soo thought to himself, sentimentally. “I have placed your bags in your room, if you would like to rest now, Mr Chan. You have school in a few hours and you must attend, at your mother’s instruction.”

Chan bounced up, dropping the remote onto the couch lazily. “Just try and stop me.” 

As Chan got ready for bed, he couldn’t help but worry and contemplate going back to school in Korea. The education system, for one, was totally different to the one in Australia, and diving head first into the middle of eleventh grade might not have been the smartest decision. But, considering the _situation_ , Chan and his parents agreed that it might do him some good to get away from Sydney for a bit, moving back to Seoul being the clear option. However, his parents still had obligations to attend to in Australia. So, there he was, back in Korea, without his parents. He didn’t mind, it’s not like it would have been any different if they were there, anyway. Don’t get him wrong, though, Chan loved Sydney and he loved Australia, but if he stayed there any longer he might have reached his tipping point. 

Jumping into bed, Chan couldn’t help but feel a subtle bubble of anxiousness in the pit of his stomach at the prospect of seeing the classmates he grew up with. What if people remembered him? What if they didn’t? What if they asked him why he returned? What if they already knew? And The Lost Boys, were they all still together, at the same high school Chan was enrolled into? He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, deciding to sleep his thoughts off, as he clicked off his bedside lamp and ducked under the covers. 

Morning approached way too fast for Chan’s liking, Mr Soo pulling the curtains open to let the sun in. Groaning at the brightness, Chan squinted before muttering that he would be down soon. Mr Soo left the room, and Chan fell back onto his mattress tiredly. He silently cursed his plane for being delayed, for if it had arrived on time he would have been granted a few more hours of blissful rest. He didn’t even have any nightmares, this time. Finally willing himself to wake for the day, he sat up again, taking in his room. Nothing had changed, save for the bareness that usually resulted after you’ve packed up all of your childhood possessions and took them with you. His suitcases were lined up against the wall, his carry-on left open in the middle of the spacious room from when he dug through it the night before, for his bathroom and bedtime items. Chan had only put up one thing on his desk, and it was a framed picture of him with The Lost Boys, the night of his eleventh birthday sleepover, all of them grinning at the camera with boyish smiles. He trudged over to the walk-in wardrobe, knowing that Mr Soo had left him his new school uniform in there. Unhooking the grey blazer and dark-green tie outfit, paired with a navy-blue jumper, Chan bit his lip in thought, before heading into his en-suite bathroom. 

Almost tripping down the stairs because he was going down two steps at a time, Chan pulled the double doors to the kitchen open with flourish, seeing the main person he couldn’t wait to see all morning. “Mother Cook!” The woman in question was standing behind the island, kneading rice-flour dough with her bare hands, dusts of powder on both cheeks. At the sudden noise, she raised her head and instantly her eyes lit up, rubbing her hands on her apron. Mother Cook (aka their live-in chef) was the only other permanent resident of the Bang home, other than Mr Soo, of course. Both of them worked on the house to ensure it was well-kept and clean, despite none of the Bangs having visited in four years. 

“Channie! I was wondering when you would finally wake up!” She beamed, Chan bounding over and pulling her into a tight hug. “Have you been well, young sir? Eating well, too I hope.” 

“Ah, I told you not to call me that! And, of course I’ve been eating well, but nothing ever tastes as good as your cooking.” He responded sincerely, and she pinched his cheek as if he was eleven years old again. 

“Oh, look what a charmer you’ve grown in to!” She cooed, watching him fondly. “I prepared you some breakfast already, but let me know what you want for dinner. You’d better eat up quickly, though, the car is waiting outside to take you to school.” She hesitated, as Chan tucked into the plate of food she set out for him. “How are you, my dear? How have you been, dealing with everything?”

Chan slowed down, no longer shovelling the food into his mouth but now pushing it around his plate. “I’ve been okay. Some days are worse than others, but I think coming back was a good idea.” He smiled forcefully at her, taking a large swig of orange juice. “I’ll head off to school now, I ate well. Thank you.” 

Pulling on the strap of his seatbelt, Chan glanced out the window as the car rolled to a stop outside of his new school. Students, wearing the same uniform he was, were everywhere, Chan silently wishing he dyed his hair back to brown as it would have helped him blend in more, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Mr Soo spied at Chan through the rear view mirror, asking him if he was okay. Chan nodded definitively, before saying goodbye and forcing himself to leave the car. Watching the dark vehicle drive off, Chan eyed the unnecessarily high flight of stairs, before he started climbing.   
As you would expect, he got lots of stares and many whispers from the fellow teens around him, everyone curious on who the curly-haired blonde they’d never seen before was, his hair the main factor that caused him to stick out like a sore thumb. He smiled at everyone who looked his way, though, as he didn’t want to give anyone any bad impressions, focusing on locating the main office. Chan didn’t have much of an issue with crowds, but when almost all the eyes in the crowd were laser-focused on him, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit self conscious. 

“Here is your timetable, make sure you don’t lose it otherwise you won’t get another one.” The administrative officer told Chan, handing him the piece of paper. He raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise at her strict tone, but didn’t say anything. “Your class president will come soon to take you to your classroom, please take a seat.” Chan thanked her, and sat on one of the wooden chairs she gestured to. It didn’t take long for a boy with dark-brown swept hair to walk into the room, bowing at all the teachers. He turned to Chan. 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Kim Seungmin, welcome to our school.”

“Seungmin?” Chan shot out of his seat. “I can’t believe this, it’s really you!”  
Seungmin had barely changed, he still had the same easy smile he did as a child, save for the pair of glasses that now rested at the bridge of his nose. 

Seungmin blinked questioningly, before it finally dawned on him. “Wait, Bang Chan? No way, you’re back?”

“Yeah!” Chan yelled, before faltering at all the looks he got. Seungmin led him out of the office, as he continued. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s really you. I didn’t know if I would see any of you here, but I’m so glad I did! How are you?”

“I’ve been well, you know, just studying and all that.” Seungmin replied politely. “What brings you back to Korea?” And there it was, the question that Chan anticipated but dreaded having to answer. On the bright side, it meant that he didn’t know the true answer for why he was back in Korea. 

“Oh, you know, I just missed Seoul. Sydney is fun and all, but Korea is where I need to be right now.” Keep it vague and simple, just as he taught himself.

Seungmin nodded, leading Chan down the school hallway. “Ah, I see. It really is a surprise to see you, though. I almost didn’t recognise you because of your hair. It’s been around... four years?” 

“Just about.” Chan agreed, chuckling lightly, still elated that at least one of his childhood friends was there. “Oh, are the other Lost Boys here too?” Seungmin stiffened. He hadn’t heard that name in so long, it sounded foreign to his ears. Wordlessly, he smiled, gesturing into a classroom that Chan assumed was theirs. 

Walking into the bustling room, Chan and Seungmin approached their teacher, Seungmin introducing Chan. He called the class to attention. “Everyone, we have a new student joining us, today. Introduce yourself, please.”

Chan smiled, more timidly than he wished. “Hello everyone, my name is Bang Chan. Please look after me.” He bowed, before being told to take the empty seat in the second to last row. As soon as he sat down, Chan turned to his seat neighbour on his right and startled. “Lee Minho?!”

Minho had his eyes cast down at his sketchbook, drawing a rough outline of something, unflinching at Chan calling his name. Chan waved his hand between Minho and the drawing, causing Minho to finally glance up, eyebrows creased slightly. It wasn’t until he recognised the goofily smiling boy beside him did Minho unplug his earphones, softening his face ever so slightly. “Bang Chan? What are you doing here, I thought you moved to Australia?” Minho looked scarily similar to how he did four years before, save for the fact he’d lost all the baby weight on his face and now had a jawline sharper than a razor. 

“Yeah, I... moved back.” Chan shrugged with a laugh, feeling his resolve crumble as he didn’t get the warm reception he was expecting, Minho just staring at him. He cleared his throat, trying to keep the conversation going. “Wow, I can’t believe I’ve bumped into you _and_ Seungmin, and we’re in the same class. I wonder if the other Lost Boys are around...” Minho licked his lips, instantly placing his earphones back in, resuming his sketching. Chan tried not to frown, though he was utterly confused. Seungmin and Minho both reacted weirdly when he mentioned their old group name, and he wanted to find out why. 

When it was time for lunch, Chan re-approached Seungmin, asking him about it. Seungmin sighed, looking down at his watch. “Look, Chan, I don’t have much time. I have a lunchtime study session to get to, but I guess I’ll just bite the bullet. The Lost Boys aren’t a thing anymore.”

“What? What does that mean, exactly?” 

“It means that, after you left things changed. You know, we grew up, we grew apart. Things... happened.” Seungmin shrugged a shoulder, holding a textbook to his chest. “We’re not really friends anymore, we barely even talk to each other. In fact...” Seungmin trailed off, letting out a breath. “It’s a long story.”

Chan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They were inseparable, they were supposed to be a brotherhood, how could they disband, just like that? It’s not like _you_ stayed, Chan thought to himself. He metaphorically swat it away. “Okay, well, that means everyone is here, right? At this school?” Seungmin nodded, gazing at his watch again, impatiently. “Well, what’s everyone else doing?”

The sound of rubber hitting the gym floor echoed in beat with the squeak of trainers, droplets of sweat flying with every movement. Han Jisung had a basketball ball in his hands, dribbling it between his legs as he scanned the court for an opening. Noticing how he was cornered, he faked an attempt at moving to the right, before throwing the ball halfway down the court, his teammate catching it as he had done so in a perfect arc. He jogged closer to the basketball hoop, a different teammate offloading the ball back to him and he leaped up, the orange sphere leaving his fingertips to swish into the net, just as their coach had called the game. Bouncing back onto his feet, he watched his team celebrate the win with each other as he awkwardly stood off to the side, smiling to himself proudly.

Peeking his head through the doorway, Chan spotted Jisung and nodded with determination, before walking towards him. Jisung was wiping his face with a towel, when he brought it around his neck, seeing the blonde boy come his way. “Hey, Sungie. Long time no see.” 

If it wasn’t for the nickname, Jisung didn’t know if he would have recognised him, his jaw dropping. “Channie! Dude, what are you doing here?!” He pulled him into a bro-hug, instantly calming Chan’s nerves. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! How have you been? How’s Australia? Wait, why _are_ you here? And, you’re wearing our school uniform- no way, don’t tell me you’ve moved back here?!” Chan couldn’t help but grin ear to ear. Other than growing a few inches, Jisung was the same as he ever was. 

“Yes, I have! I don’t know, I just felt like coming back.” Chan shrugged, hoping he came off nonchalant. “But hey, look at you Mr Basketball Star! I heard you’re the captain. That’s amazing.”

“Ah, well, they knew there was only one man who could lead this team to victory, of course.” Jisung looked into the distance, heroically. He faced Chan again. “That man is me, if it wasn’t clear.”  
One of the boys who was playing on the other team jogged over to them, handing Jisung a water bottle. Chan noted how he also had light-blonde hair like him, almost platinum, prominent freckles sprinkled on his cheeks. Jisung thanked him, before exclaiming. “Oh, this is Bang Chan! My friend from elementary school. Chan, this is Lee Yongbok.” 

The boy smiled diffidently. “Yeah, that’s what most people call me, but my birth name is Felix. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Felix? Are you a foreigner?” Chan blurted out, to which he nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m from Sydney, Aus-“

“-tralia.” They finished together, Chan staring at him in disbelief. “I just moved back from Sydney. When did you move here?”

“About a year ago?” Felix matched his expression, saying the next part in English, with a chuckle. “ _Small world, eh?_ ” He turned to Jisung. “I’m gonna head to the showers, I’ll catch you later. _See you around, Chan._ ”

Chan watched Felix sprint away, probably to nab a shower spot before they were all taken. Jisung cleared his throat, grabbing his attention. “Have you had lunch yet? I’ll go shower quickly, and then I can show you where the cafeteria is.”

“Sure, that would be great.” Chan smiled, before remembering. “Ah, I saw Seungmin and Minho earlier, but Seungmin told me that you guys aren’t friends anymore? What happened?” Jisung froze, debating whether to tell Chan everything at that moment or to brush it off. You guessed it, he chose the latter. 

“Oh, you know, it’s just how life goes on.” He mumbled, avoiding his eye contact. “I’ll meet you outside the locker room?”

The school cafeteria was filled to the brim with students chattering away as they sat with their friends to eat lunch, a long cue of people waiting to get their own meals. Chan gripped his tray as Jisung led him to a table in the far corner of the room. “Don’t you want to sit with your friends?” Chan asked, referring to the table full of basketball jerseys. 

Jisung looked in the direction he indicated, briefly, waving it off. “Nah, it’s fine. They won’t miss me.” Chan pouted subtly, but didn’t say anything as he tucked into his meal. He even missed the school lunches. “So, what have you been up to?”

Before Chan could answer, a group of around five or six boys had entered the cafeteria, their sudden presence snatching his focus. The boy at the very front of the crowd led them straight to the start of the cue for food. He looked the first girl in the line in the eyes, ordering her to move, to which she said no and told him to get a life. His friends burst into laughter around him and he flipped them off, straightening out his blazer before making their way to the back of the line, when he heard:

“Hwang Hyunjin?!”

Narrowing his eyes, he spun to face the almost unfamiliar voice, when he faltered, letting out an amused scoff. “Bang Chan? You’re kidding...” The entire cafeteria quietened down to whispers as both boys had yelled across the room, causing confusion and curiosity to fill the air. 

Changbin’s head shot up immediately, his face falling in surprise. “Bang Chan is here?”

“You know Chan?” Felix, who was sitting next to his best friend, asked inquisitively, looking back and forth between Changbin, Jisung, Hyunjin and Chan. 

“Come sit with us!” Chan waved Hyunjin over. Jisung looked down, scratching the back of his neck, as the whispers intensified, everyone waiting to see what Hyunjin would do. To their ultimate shock, he pocketed his hands and put on a polite smile, walking across the cafeteria to stand at their table. He could feel his friends start to follow him, but at the shake of his head, they stopped and Hyunjin went alone. 

“Chan, it’s good to see you.” Hyunjin greeted him, eyes solely on Chan. “What brings you back to Korea?” 

“Oh, you know, this and that...” He laughed it off, changing the subject. “What have you been doing? Things have really changed in the last four years, haven’t they?”

“You could say that.” Hyunjin said simply. “Anyway, I should go now, I’ll let you get back to your meal.”

“Why don’t you eat with us?” Chan suggested, becoming aware of how everyone was listening to the entire conversation. 

Jisung spoke up, still looking down. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

Pivoting slightly, Hyunjin glared at him, finally acknowledging Jisung’s existence. “You know what, maybe I will. Why not? We can have a _catch up_.” Hyunjin fell into the seat beside Chan, slightly diagonal to Jisung, who still refused to look at Hyunjin. Hyunjin snapped his head at one of his friends and mouthed at them to get him some food. They rubbed their fingers together pointedly and he sighed nodding, silently agreeing to pay them later, before going back to glaring at Jisung with his arms folded. 

“Oh no...” Changbin muttered. Without thinking, he picked his tray up and moved through the tables to sit next to Jisung. “Hey guys, Chan, how are you, what’s going on here?” Chan’s eyebrows rose at seeing Changbin and he wanted to greet him, but even Chan could tell it wasn’t the right time for joyful reunions as he had unknowingly started something he had no intention of starting. His eyes shot to where Changbin had come from, to see Felix eyeing them up, worriedly. Locking eyes with the boy, the two of them stared at each other in complete bafflement. 

“Great, Changbin is here too! It’s almost like we’re all back together again!” Hyunjin mocked gushingly, clasping his hands together. “What were we called again? The Stray Kids?”

“The Lost Boys.” Jisung corrected, finally willing himself to look up. “I thought we agreed to never speak again. What are you doing?” Chan creased his eyebrows. What in the world happened while he was gone? 

Hyunjin gasped, draping a hand on Chan’s shoulder. “It’s Chan’s first day back. Can I not enjoy lunch with an old friend?”

“Whatever, I’m not dealing with this right now.” Jisung placed his palms on the table and pushed himself to stand. 

“Right, just run away, you’re good at that.” Hyunjin retorted, causing Jisung to freeze. Hyunjin also stood up, eyes unwavering from Jisung as he walked around the table until he was right next to him. “It’s fine, you can stay. Not like I would be able to stomach food looking at your face, anyway.” Hyunjin swung back at Chan, “it really was good to see you again,” before sauntering out of the cafeteria, his posse following after him. 

“And, they haven’t spoken since?” Chan asked, walking through the school grounds with Changbin, who had explained the entire story to Chan. Turns out, at the start of tenth grade, both Jisung and Hyunjin had tried out for the basketball team. The issue was, there was only one spot left. They agreed to be civil and try to win the spot fair and square, however during try-outs, Jisung had somehow accidentally tripped Hyunjin, causing him to land on his left wrist awkwardly. Jisung, not realising what he had done, left Hyunjin on the ground and continued on to score the winning point of the game, thus granting him the final spot on the team. Boiling with anger, Hyunjin accused Jisung of tripping him on purpose, to which Jisung denied profusely, but Hyunjin refused to believe him. Hyunjin was mad at Jisung for supposedly cheating, and Jisung was mad at Hyunjin for thinking he would ever betray him, resulting in both boys feuding each other with snide remarks or evil glares, until one day they silently agreed to just ignore each other’s existence. Then, Chan returned.

Changbin nodded. “Yeah, and after that it kind of made things harder to stay friends, all of us together. We sort of went our separate ways, but the rest of us are still on decent terms with each other. We just don’t talk anymore.” Chan frowned. How could everything fall apart because of a broken wrist and a spot on the basketball team? Chan halted his footsteps, a thought hitting him like a ton of bricks.

“Hang on, I haven’t seen Jeongin yet.”

At every school, there was always that one person that was the unspoken, labelled _’Heartthrob’_ by all of their peers. Never in his entire life, did Chan ever predict that Yang Jeongin would be that guy at their school. As a kid, Jeongin was always undeniably cute. He had adorably round cheeks, with a sweet crooked smile and wide, sparkling eyes. So, when Chan waited at Jeongin’s locker, that Changbin directed him to, and saw the teenager that he had grown into, even Chan couldn’t stop himself from gawking. Gone were Jeongin’s squeezable cheeks, having been replaced with unbelievably defined cheekbones. He’d also grown a lot in height, Chan could tell from a distance he would almost tower over him, and it was extremely clear that he had been frequenting the gym. Behind him, was a swarm of girls and boys following Jeongin as he reached his locker. “Channie! I heard you were back, but I didn’t believe it. It’s so great to see you.” Chan almost swooned at his smile, his teeth now pin-straight, dimples carved into each side of his face. 

Blinking rapidly, Chan responded. “Yeah, it’s great to see you too. I... caught up… with everyone but I hadn’t seen you yet, so I wanted to say hi.” Chan tilted his head at the crowd, as Jeongin opened his locker. “What’s with the entourage?” 

Jeongin dipped his head slightly, his cheeks tingling with pink. “Oh, um... they just, they like to follow me around sometimes. I’m not sure why, but I wish they would stop.”

I could think of a reason why, Chan thought. “Why don’t you just tell them to go away? Nicely?”

Jeongin’s eyes widened, nervously pulling out a book from his backpack to replace it in his locker. “Oh, no, I could never do that...'' Chan looked at him, questioningly. “Well, then I would have to talk to them.”

“You have a group of people follow you around and you don’t talk to them?” 

Jeongin scrunched his nose up. “When you put it like that, I see what it looks like. I’m just not very good at, um...”

“Confrontation?” Chan suggested, and Jeongin smiled sheepishly, shutting his locker with a click. “Speaking of confrontation, I’m sure you heard about what happened at lunch?” Jeongin nodded timidly, and Chan sighed. “How did this happen? We were The Lost Boys, we were best friends. And now, you all just act like strangers with one another?”

“Chan, we’re not kids anymore. These things just happen, you know?” But they can’t, not to them. Chan wasn’t even sure if all of his friends would be in the same school, but seeing them all together yet so separated was worse than he could have ever imagined. He couldn’t just let them drift apart, not when he was there. Maybe that’s why they crumbled, because Chan wasn’t there to hold them together. He almost laughed out loud at himself, for thinking he was such an integral part of their dynamic. Whether he was or he wasn’t, Chan knew he had to get the band back together. But how? 

He felt a tap on his shoulder. 

“Oh, hey, it’s you.” Felix smiled kindly. “That was quite a show earlier, in the canteen. I’m guessing no one told you not to put Jisung and Hyunjin in the same room?”

“Ah, yeah. Things have really changed since I was last here...” Chan admitted, sheepishly. “Hyunjin really surprised me.”

“Ah, don’t worry about him, he’s not so bad if you’re on his good side. And even if you’re not, he’s still pretty harmless, just a bit dramatic.” Felix laughed, his infectious chuckles instantly making Chan laugh along with him. 

“Glad to see that part of him hasn’t changed.” Chan joked, crossing his arms. There was a thin silence of them staring at each other, when Felix slapped his forehead. 

“Oh, right, sorry, I just need to get to my locker.” His eyes drifted to the metal wall. Chan apologised and jumped away from leaning against the locker next to Jeongin’s, which happened to be Felix’s. “Hey, Innie.” 

“Hey Lix.” He greeted back, Chan watching with analytical eyes. “Are you coming online tonight?” 

“I can’t, sorry, I have a study session with Kim Seungmin.” Felix told him, Chan staring attentively, his brain piecing things together. He smiled to himself, getting an idea. 

The next day, after school, Chan was sitting at a table in the local boba-tea shop, two milk teas placed on the table in front of him. He stirred the tapioca pearls with his straw, watching them swirl through the drink, as he waited patiently. The shop was half-filled with students from his school, so he was glad he picked the spot in the far _far_ corner. Not only was Chan still the talk of the town for being the ‘new’ kid, but he was also known as the person that managed to get Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin to break their streak of silence. People were curious who he was, and Chan knew curiosity would lead to digging for answers to their questions. Questions Chan didn’t want answered. 

“Hi, sorry I’m late!” A deep voice called from behind him. Chan raised his head as Felix slid into view, falling onto the seat opposite him. He placed his backpack down on the floor, panting slightly. “Sorry, I got caught up with something.”

“It’s okay.” Chan smiled politely. “I got you a regular milk tea, because I didn’t know what you liked.”

Felix’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? Thank you so much, you didn’t have to. How much was it?” Chan waved it off, saying it was on him but Felix insisted he pay him back for it. He dug through his wallet, placing a couple notes on the table. Chan told him it was fine, and that he doesn’t even like to carry money with him anyway. Felix scrunched his eyebrows at that slightly but didn’t say anything, eventually relenting and accepting the drink. “Thank you, I’ll drink it well.” He took a sip, before facing Chan properly. “So, you mentioned that there was a reason you wanted to meet me. I was surprised, considering we’ve only spoken a couple of times.” 

“Yes, I know that this may seem a bit odd, but I have a proposition for you.”

“A proposition?” Felix raised an eyebrow. “Sounds serious.” 

Chan smiled but it wasn’t a happy one. He opened his mouth to speak but faltered, not even knowing where to begin. “When I left Korea, never did I think I would come back and my friends wouldn’t be friends anymore. It sounds silly saying it now, but we were called The Lost Boys, and we would do everything together. They were my brothers. I know that it’s partly my fault, for not keeping in touch, but... I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“I’m sorry that things aren’t how you expected them to be.” Felix frowned apologetically. “I don’t understand what that has to do with me, though.”

Chan took in a deep breath, preparing himself to say his next words. “I need your help to bring them back together.”

Felix stared at him, with a mixture of confusion and alarm, the paper straw held between his lips. He sat up straight, tilting his head. “What?” 

“Alright, you have every right to say no by the way, but I think you’re my last hope. You’re on the basketball team with Jisung, you’re friends with Changbin, your locker is next to Jeongin and you study with Seungmin. Not to mention I, uh, did a little stalking and found out you and Minho follow each other on Instagram...”

“Oh, yeah, he sits next to me in art class and we send each other cat memes.” Felix smiled goofily, in remembrance, before realising. “Hold on, you stalked me?!”

“Hey, internet stalking is socially acceptable!” Chan exclaimed by accident, ducking his head in embarrassment at people looking his way. “Finally, I know that you and Hyunjin constantly have bets going on so you must know each other pretty well.”

“Did you get _that_ from _internet_ stalking?” Felix teased, Chan’s cheeks heating up. “Okay, I still don’t know how you want me to help you get your friends back together.”

“You are the only link left between them. With your help, I think I can get them to remember why we were all friends in the first place. You are my last hope.” Chan admitted, throwing all pride out the window. “I’m willing to pay you anything to help me.”

Felix was so surprised he almost sprayed his tea in Chan’s face. Clasping a hand over his mouth with bugged out eyes, Felix forced himself to swallow. “Let me get this straight. You want to _pay_ me to help you get your friends back? I know I literally met you yesterday so forgive me for being rude but, are you that desperate to keep your nostalgia intact?”

Was Chan desperate? Definitely. Was it for nostalgic purposes? He wished it was. Maybe if what happened in Australia didn’t happen, then Chan would have been able to come to terms with it, and move on. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t lose them. Any of them. “I just want my friends back. I know I’m asking a lot of you, but don’t you have anything that you’ve ever wanted so badly?”

Felix’s eyes softened, his face growing solemn. “Yeah. I do.” 

“So, if there was a way to get it, wouldn’t you do anything you can to do so?” Chan asked, hopefully.

Placing his tea back down on the table, Felix looked Chan in the eye. “Okay, I’ll help you. But I don’t want your money.”

Chan‘s elation at Felix agreeing to help him took a backseat for his apprehension at Felix not accepting money as an exchange took the wheel. “Wh- what do you want instead?”

Felix’s mouth stretched into an amused smile. “I don’t want anything. I’ll help you because you asked. Besides, how hard can it really be?” Chan had a foreboding feeling wash over him at Felix’s words, but decided to ignore it (which may have been a big mistake). Instead, he matched Felix’s grin and raised his tea as a cheers, Felix mirroring his actions. Maybe _this_ was the actual start of our story. Even if it wasn’t, it was definitely the start of something.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: mention of anxiety

Felix assumed Chan was well off as he had the latest phone model, he always wore very expensive looking shoes, and he would get picked up from and dropped off at school in a fancy black car, driven by all he could imagine was his chauffeur as he would often open the door for him and looked _slightly_ too young to be his dad. However, Felix didn’t realise the extent of which Chan was _loaded_ until he was standing outside of his three-tiered home, staring up at the extravagant building in awe, having just walked over from the bus stop. Inhaling a deep breath, he walked up the stone steps, before standing on his tiptoes to rap the door knocker a couple times. He landed the soles of his feet back on the ground, just as the door swung open to reveal the same man Felix had been seeing all week, every time Chan would arrive at or leave the school premises. “Uh, hello.” Felix bowed slightly. “I’m here to see Bang Chan.”

The man eyed him suspiciously, but before he could question him further, a cheery voice called through the space, instantly making Felix smile. “Mr Soo, who’s here?” Chan approached the door, Mr Soo stepping out of the way, as he grinned. “Mr Soo, this is my new friend from school, Lee Yongbok. Felix, this is Mr Soo.” Mr Soo bowed formally, causing Felix to bow again. He turned to the boy who looked like he had just come out of the shower, since his hair was curlier and fluffier than usual. 

“Hey, Chan.” Felix greeted, trying to hide the sudden intimidation he was feeling at the fact Chan essentially lived in a mansion and had someone he called _Mr_ answer the front door. 

“Hey.” Chan returned, leaning against the doorframe casually. “You wanna come in?” 

The door shutting behind him heavily, Felix took in the interior, the astonishment on his face embarrassingly obvious. Everything seemed so clean and white, save for the red length of carpet before him, Felix worrying about accidentally making a mess. Chan noticed Felix’s reaction and blushed abashedly, hoping where he lived wouldn’t change his entire perception of him. He spoke up, gesturing to the stairs. “So, why don’t we go up to my room?” Mr Soo, who was standing off to the side with his arms held behind his back, stared at Chan in alarm. Chan cursed at himself for forgetting that, not only was Mr Soo fluent in English but also French, Spanish, Mandarin and Japanese, as well as dabbling in a bit of German. Realising how that sounded, he turned to Mr Soo and laughed. “We’re just working on a, um, a _project_ together, so we need some privacy- not _privacy_ privacy, just space... we’ll keep the door open.” He muttered the last part, pocketing his hands as he gave Felix a look to follow him, before dashing up the stairs. 

The days had flown by, Monday suddenly morphing into Saturday, as not much had happened during the week. Chan tried any opportunity he could to speak to The Lost Boys, even if it was only one-on-one. He learnt that it was extremely difficult finding a moment where Seungmin was free, as when he wasn’t studying he was at student council meetings. Chan swore he hadn’t seen Seungmin in the cafeteria once the entire time he was there. Minho was similar, also not being spotted in the cafeteria, and Chan had no clue where the boy would disappear off to after class. Even when they were in class, Minho scarcely replied to Chan’s attempts at a conversation, as valiant as his efforts were, for Minho’s earphone buds were a permanent fixture in his ears at all times. As for the others, Chan often hung out with Jisung, Changbin, or Jeongin but never at the same time. If Chan was sitting with Changbin and Felix at lunch, Jisung would have forced himself to sit with the basketball team, despite the fact he’d rather sit by himself in a bathroom stall. If Chan was talking to Jeongin at the lockers, Changbin would approach only to talk to Felix, throwing a mere wave in Chan’s direction but completely ignoring Jeongin’s presence. And, if Chan was at the boba-tea shop with Jisung and Felix, Jeongin would be sitting a couple tables away, surrounded by too many people that Chan would barely be able to see the top of his head. Oh, and Hyunjin? The only way Chan would be able to talk to Hyunjin was if he could get through his surprisingly impenetrable wall of henchmen, or in after-school detention. It really was a wonder, to Chan, how Hyunjin became the school delinquent, when he was the softest person he knew. Chan had no idea how to get them to even look in each other’s direction, let alone get them to converse with one another, and that’s why, Saturday morning, Felix was at his house, so they could properly devise a plan on getting The Lost Boys back together. 

After Chan managed to get Felix to agree to help him, they got to talking and realised just how well they got along. Felix discovered that Chan could speak fluent English, due to the fact he inhaled all English content he could find from a young age combined with living abroad, and that he had a mixture of an Australian and Korean accent when he spoke English. Chan learnt that Felix studied with Seungmin to help improve his Korean, as Seungmin was also fluent in English (something Chan didn’t know but it didn’t surprise him). They created a habit of speaking English when they were together, which, as you would expect, grew tiring for their friends. 

Chan led Felix to his room with bated breath, and the look of awe on the freckled boy’s face never left. Since landing in Korea, Chan had finally managed to unpack all of his belongings, but all that it had done was make him feel like he put a single box down in an empty warehouse. His desk was cluttered with books and stationary, his laptop placed in the middle, a large window that faced the back garden just above. The box-TV that Chan took with him to Australia arrived a couple days prior, tucked away in the corner on a small, square cart, similar to the ones you would have had at school to carry box-TVs. However, the room was so large, that not even Chan’s king-sized bed could make the space feel less industrial. “Make yourself at home.” Chan muttered, quickly moving the damp towel he left on the floor and dunking it into his laundry basket. 

Finally gaining control of his facial features, Felix licked his lips to speak. “You have a nice house.” Chan thanked him awkwardly, never knowing how to respond to that compliment, before flopping down on the right side of his bed, leaning against the headboard. He gestured for Felix to join him, who rushed over and dropped on to the end of the bed, on the left side. “So... Mr Soo seems nice.”

Chan let out a chuckle, not knowing if Felix was being sarcastic or sincere. “Yeah, he takes some getting used to. He’s very serious, a bit too serious, but he’s got a good heart. A bit of a stickler for the rules, but he keeps me in line.” I needed that back in Australia, Chan thought to himself. 

“I’m guessing he’s not your dad?” Felix asked, curiosity getting the better of him, and Chan’s head shot up. 

“Nah, he’s sort of like... he looks after me. That’s the simplest way to put it.”

“What about your parents? What do they do?” After those questions, Felix could tell Chan was starting to feel uncomfortable. Felix wanted to kick himself for asking, when Chan replied. 

“My parents are back in Australia. My dad’s company is doing really well there, right now, so they needed to stay behind.” Chan figured that telling him that much wouldn’t do any harm since it would explain how Chan had such a nice house, besides, it’s not like The Lost Boys didn’t know. 

Felix relaxed again, feeling assured he wasn’t prying too much. “Oh, your dad owns a company? Which one? I might know it, if it’s popular in Australia.” Chan breathed a flustered laugh, as he bent over the side of his bed to reach the mini-fridge plugged underneath it. Puzzled, Felix could only watch until a silver can flew into the air in his direction. Making use of his basketball playing prowess, he caught the drink, the cold metal surface dripping in condensation. Felix read the label and stared at Chan in shock. “No way... your dad created _Fizz-Whizz_?!”

 _Fizz-Whizz_ was an energy drink, targeted at high school and university students. It was low in sugar and caffeine, yet it gave just as much of a boost in energy as a cup of coffee. The best part was, it was made from all organic ingredients. 

Chan nodded, analysing Felix’s reaction. Felix turned the can over in his grasp, reading the manufacturer’s section. “You’re kidding, I used to drink these things like water! My favourite was the mixed berry flavour.”

“Mine is the pineapple and mango.” Chan smiled thinly. “We have way too many in our refrigerator, if you want to take some home.” Felix rejected, profusely, but Chan insisted that he would just be doing him a favour, throwing him another can that seemingly came out of nowhere. Chan watched Felix struggle to hold both, as the first had almost slipped out of his grasp to catch the other, before he saved it but almost hit himself in the face with the second. Adorable, Chan thought, shaking his head in amusement. “Alrighty, shall we get started?” 

“Yes, sir!” Felix saluted, with determination, Chan cocking an eyebrow. “I know we were supposed to brainstorm together, but I already came up with an idea.” Chan indicated for him to continue, and Felix grinned excitedly. “Okay, so I thought we would go with the easiest, most fool-proof plan of them all.” He held the two cans together, before pulling them apart, his face appearing between them. “Divide...” Felix used both index fingers to crack open both cans, two canon hisses sounding through the air. “... and conquer.” He smirked at Chan’s surprised but evidently impressed reaction to him opening two cans of drink at the same time, passing him one of them, before realising they were spilling over due to being thrown around so much. Both of them jumped off the bed, bringing the drinks to their lips to get rid of any carbonation, but they still managed to get the fruit-concentrated beverages on the duvet and Felix’s plain white shirt was now stained a berry-purple. Staring at each other, they burst into laughter. 

Felix emerged from Chan’s en-suite, pulling on the hem of the oversized, black t-shirt Chan let him borrow. He passed the desk, stopping to notice the framed picture of The Lost Boys from Chan’s eleventh birthday, and smiled. Felix turned to see Chan had thrown his duvet on the floor, next to his laundry basket, as the only thing covering his bed was a bedsheet and a few pillows. Felix frowned, apologetically. “Sorry, I made a mess.” 

“Don’t even worry about it.” Chan waved it off, but the look of worry was still etched into Felix’s features. Chan looked at him for a moment, before asking. “Are you hungry?”

When most people visited Chan’s house for the first time, they usually reached the epitome of gobsmacked when they saw the indoor pool, something which helped Chan win a lot of swimming medals in his time, but if not the swimming pool, then the state-of-the-art games room usually did it for them. Chan wasn’t expecting, when he brought Felix down to the kitchen, that _that_ would cause Felix to completely lose his mind. Chan leaned against the counter with folded arms, following with his eyes as Felix ran around the room, marvelling over all the kitchen appliances you would find in a catalogue, as he exclaimed the name of whatever contraption caught his eye and then began to give Chan a detailed explanation of what it did and a list of recipes you could make with it. Chan bit back a smile, for some reason seeing Felix so excited about something like kitchen equipment causing a warm feeling to erupt through him. “We can bake something, if you’d like?”

“Can we?” Felix blurted out, before lowering his head with humility. “No, it’s alright, I wouldn’t want to impose. 

Chan scoffed, walking over to him. “I told you to make yourself at home.” Felix pressed his lips together, before nodding, not even bothering to hide the delighted glee on his face.

“So, explain this whole _divide and conquer_ thing to me?” Chan requested, placing three medium-sized eggs on the island, at Felix’s instruction. They decided to make a regular vanilla cake, with buttercream and strawberry jam in the middle, icing powder dusted on top. Considering Chan had absolutely no experience in the kitchen, Felix, who had a lot of experience, assured Chan that even an idiot couldn’t mess it up. 

“Well, I figured it would virtually be impossible if we tried to get all six of them in the same room at the same time. Therefore, the easiest plan of action would be to try and break them into pairs to start with.” Felix carefully measured out the sugar and the butter, moving swiftly yet gracefully almost like it was muscle memory, then added it into the bowl and started mixing with a handheld whisk. Chan nodded, the plan sinking in.

“Right, okay, so who are the pairs?” 

Felix answered, continuing to cream the two ingredients together with vigour. “Well, clearly the big problem here is Hyunjin and Jisung, so those two need to sort things out. But, that’s the final phase of the plan.”

“There are phases?” Chan blinked, placing the electric whisk next to the milk, as Felix asked him to bring it over. Nodding, Felix tapped an egg against the metal bowl until it fractured, and twisted the two halves of the shell with one hand so the inside fell in the bowl. Chan’s mouth fell into a small circular shape, leaning over to try and do what Felix just did, but the shorter boy stopped him, saying you need to whisk them in one-by-one. Chan dropped back onto the soles of his feet. “Well, what are the first phases, then?”

“Phase one will be trying to figure out _how_ to get two of them into the same room. And, no, we can’t kidnap them. We need to make them willingly meet up.”

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you?” Chan held back a smirk, a mixture of impressed, amused and flattered, as Felix’s movements slowed down, shyly. 

“I mean, of course I did. You asked me to help you, and I know I’ve only known you for a week but, when I agree to help someone I don’t do things half-assed.” He finally looked up at Chan. “Plus, it is kind of fun.” 

Chan felt an unfamiliar feeling in his stomach, but he just assumed it was because he was hungry. “Okay, so we’ll leave Jisung and Hyunjin alone for now. What about the others?”

“That’s where _I_ come into this.” Felix smiled, throwing the final egg shell away, and plugging in the electric whisk. 

“Do _I_ come into this at some point? Because, so far you’ve done everything, and I feel kind of bad.” Chan muttered, eyes casted down. 

Felix breathed a light laugh. “Of course, you’re the most important part. But _that_ is part of-“

“-the final phase?” Chan suggested, and Felix shot him a finger. Chan sighed. “Well, can I at least help with the cake?” Felix chuckled at Chan’s pouty face, and told him to measure out the flour. Grabbing the bag of wheat powder, Chan pulled open the paper and began to tip it into the bowl. However, the flour didn’t move. Frowning, Chan tapped the bottom of the bag lightly, and when that didn’t do anything, he tapped it a little harder. Chan may have tapped it a bit too hard, as the entire block of flour fell into the bowl, the impact causing it to spill out of the bowl and all over Chan. Felix spun around to see what the commotion was about, before bursting into laughter, doubling over. 

“Oh, you think this is funny, do you?” Chan’s tone was playful, as he blew away flour on his lips, his entire face caked with it. Felix couldn’t help but nod, still emitting deep giggles. Chan smirked. “Well, if it’s so funny, it wouldn’t be fair if you were the only one laughing.”

Felix’s eyes widened, watching Chan step closer to him. “No, Bang Chan, you stay away from me-“ Felix tried to run away, but Chan swooped forward, catching him by his waist and pressing Felix into him in a bear hug. Felix managed to pull away slightly, but Chan still had a secure grip on him, the flour from Chan’s hair having snowed onto Felix’s, his entire front dusted white. “Haha, jokes on you because this is your... t-shirt...” The light-hearted atmosphere condensed, Felix’s grinning face falling into a solemn one as he stared into Chan’s gaze. The two held eye contact for way-too-long of a time, though both of them knew they should break apart. 

Thankfully, the double doors opened, the sound almost like the snap of a hypnotist’s fingers, and both boys parted immediately. “What happened here?! Channie...” Chan smiled sheepishly at the scolding look on Mother Cook’s face. She sighed, eyes averting to Felix. “Oh, hello.” 

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” Felix greeted back with a bow, flour sprinkling off his blonde locks. “I am deeply sorry about the mess...” Felix wanted the ground to swallow him whole, it was the first time he’d been to Chan’s house and he’d already contributed to two messes. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was never invited back again. 

“It’s okay, dear.” She smiled warmly at him, but Felix couldn’t tell if she genuinely meant it or because he was _Chan’s guest_. “Oh, Chan, Mr Soo was looking for you-“ As if by magic, Mr Soo walked into the kitchen. “Ah, speak of the man...”

He took in the mess with furrowed eyebrows, before his eyes darted between Chan and Felix sternly, but didn’t say anything about it. “Mr Chan, just to remind you, you have that appointment to attend to, so we must leave soon.”

Chan paused from shaking the powder out of his hair. “Is that today?” Upon seeing Mr Soo nod, Chan sighed to Felix. “Sorry, I didn’t realise I had something on today.”

“No, it’s fine, I have somewhere to be soon also.” Felix smiled, before gasping. “Oh, but the mess, and the cake...” 

“Don’t worry about the flour, we have cleaners come in once a day.” Felix tried to argue that he didn’t want to just leave the mess, but Chan cut him off. “And, I guess you’ll just have to bake me a cake another time.” Chan smiled, and Felix slowly smiled back. Taking his leave, Felix bowed goodbye to everyone politely, and grabbed his things before walking to the bus stop. It wasn’t until he got to the bus stop and noticed everyone’s strange looks his way, did he remember he was covered in flour. Felix couldn’t help but laugh as he dusted himself off, grinning a bit too giddily.

“I hear you’ve been having nightmares?” 

Chan fiddled with the tassel on the pillow he was hugging to his chest, eyes glued to the cluster of string. He nodded. “They’ve gotten better, since moving back here. Dr Altman said something about _changing scenery_ might do that.”

Dr Choi nodded, crossing her legs and leaning back in her chair as she scribbled some things down in her notebook. “Yes, it’s called _context-dependent forgetting_. Have you been sleeping better?”

“Kind of? I mean, I’ve never really had the best sleeping habits, so I don’t really know what _better_ is.” Dr Choi hummed at Chan’s response, scribbling more things down. Chan gave up trying to sneak a peek at the notes with his old therapist, since they were usually in such a messy scrawl you’d need a decipherer to read it. 

“Do you want to tell me about the nightmares?”

Chan swallowed, taking in a deep breath through his nose. “Um, it’s a recurring nightmare. It usually starts with, uh, me. And I’m, just... walking, along the beach. Alone. And then, um... and then...”

“It’s okay if you can’t tell me, I have it written down from Dr Altman’s notes, but I did want to hear it from you.” Dr Choi told him, but Chan shook his head. If he could tell it once before, he can tell it again. 

“Then, I’m transported to... _that place_ ,” Dr Choi quickly wrote down: _cannot say the place of incident out loud_ , “and then, _what happened_... replays in my mind. And I usually wake up... when I scream.” 

Chan finally looked up to see Dr Choi finish off a sentence, and place her pen down. “Have you been taking your medication? For your anxiety?”

“I told Dr Altman I don’t have anxiety.” Chan stated, and Dr Choi gave him a half smile. 

“Nightmares are often anxiety-induced. It’s not always so black and white, there’s varying levels to anxiety, different types.” 

Chan shrugged his shoulders. “I just don’t think I need medication for it.”

“Okay.” Dr Choi relented, flipping over to a new page. “But, I am going to prescribe you some melatonin. To help you sleep.” Chan didn’t say anything, and she took that as an agreement. “I understand that you went through a lot back in Sydney, but judging by these notes you’ve shown a lot of progress. How do you feel being at school?”

Chan smiled for the first time since he entered the room. “School is good, all of my friends from before I moved are there and I’ve made some new ones.” One new one, in particular. “I guess it helps that no one knows what happened. But, I do get scared that... one day they’ll find out, and it’ll be the same thing all over again.”

“That’s understandable, it’s normal to be scared or _anxious_.” Chan’s head shot up at her again, at _that_ word, and she wrote some more notes down. 

After the session ended, Chan got into the back seat of the car, wordlessly. Mr Soo asked him how it went, but after Chan didn’t reply, he started the car up again to travel back home. Chan released a deep breath, pulling his phone out of his jeans pocket, to see a text from Felix:

` Hey! I just wanted to apologise again, for making such a mess. I totally get if you put my name on a blacklist from ever entering your home again :( `

Chan cracked a smile, typing out a reply:

`Don’t worry, I can assure you I have made way worse messes than today- I was the one who made the mess in the kitchen anyway. And for the record, you’ll never end up on the blacklist ;) `

Bubbles appeared almost immediately at the bottom of the screen, another message coming through:

` Wow, you actually have a blacklist? I was just kidding- well, I’m glad that I’m immune then `

Chan smirked to himself, sending his next text:

` And, why is that? `

` So I can finally try out that electric whisk, I was so excited ;-; `

` Is that the only reason?`|

Chan blinked, rereading the message he had typed out, before backspacing and punching in a new one:

` Well, it’ll be here, waiting for you~`

Shaking his thoughts, Chan was about to put his phone back into his pocket when he saw Felix sent him a sticker of a puppy smiling excitedly, making Chan smile also. 

“Mr Lee?” The doctor called, causing Felix to put his phone away. His father stood up and walked over to speak with the man in the long, white coat, Felix staring at them worriedly. His dad turned back, and gestured for the rest of his family to follow him. They were led down a couple of corridors until finally reaching the right room. 

“Grandpa!” Felix’s little sister yelled, running over to him. The man in question was laid out on a hospital bed, seemingly resting until he heard the sweet voice ring through the air. His eyes shot open and he grinned, extending his arms to hug the girl who ran into them. 

“Careful!” Felix’s mother warned, placing the bag of food and extra clothes down by his bed. “Hello, father. I hope they’ve been treating you well.”

“Of course they have, don’t you worry about me!” He responded, reassuringly, pulling away from a hug from Felix’s older sister. Once he spotted Felix standing to the side awkwardly, his eyes lit up. “Yongbokkie, aren’t you going to give your grandad a hug?” 

Felix smiled and walked over ungainly, accepting the embrace. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Come on, now, a little hug from my dearest grandson isn’t going to kill me. As strong as you have grown.” He chuckled, patting his back. Felix pulled away, gently, moving out of the way for his father to take his place. 

“Father, I spoke to the doctor and they said they want to keep you in for another week, so they can monitor you.” He informed, Felix’s grandfather nodding with a sigh. 

“What have they said about my position?”

Mr Lee paused, before revealing that it hasn’t changed. Felix’s grandfather smiled, but they could all tell it wasn’t genuine. “It’s okay, what happens will happen. God does everything for a reason.” Felix absentmindedly fiddled with the cross necklace that he often hid under his shirt as he thought about this sentiment: _God does everything for a reason_.

Another week went by, and all attempts at Chan getting any two of The Lost Boys together seemed more useless as the days went on. Nothing had changed on the friendship front, apart from Chan and Felix. It didn’t go unnoticed by the others, how wherever there was Chan, Felix would follow soon after, and vice versa. They were virtually inseparable, unless they had to be. Felix and Seungmin were in Seungmin’s living room, studying for an upcoming chemistry test. Though Felix’s Korean skills had improved over the year, he still struggled with technical words, as you would expect with a subject like science. Seungmin was more than happy to help him. The door between the kitchen and the living room slid open, Seungmin’s mother walking in cheerily with a tray full of cut-up fruit and glasses of orange juice. “Hello Felix, it’s lovely to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you again, too, Mrs Kim.” Felix beamed, accepting the glass of juice. Seungmin ignored her, muttering the sentence he was writing out to himself. 

Mrs Kim maintained her smile. “You should come over more often, it’s relieving to see my Seungminnie with friends. He’s always got his head stuck in those books, it honestly started to worry me.” Seungmin’s pen stopped moving. “I tell him that we’re proud of him for doing so well, but life isn’t just about grades. You know, what use are good grades and a good job if you don’t have someone to share it with-“

“Mother.” Seungmin spoke up, pointedly, his eyes unwavering from the page. “We have a lot to do, so could you please leave us now?” Smiling apologetically, she exited the room, leaving a heavy silence among the two boys, until Seungmin continued to write. Felix glanced at him, wanting to say something but he thought better of it. “Could you pass me my other pencil case? It’s in my school bag.” Felix grabbed the massive backpack, and zipped it open before peering into it with surprise. 

“Woah, cool camera!” He gasped, bringing out the sky-blue coloured device. Seungmin’s eyes widened, and he took the camera from his grasp swiftly. “Hey, I didn’t know you were into photography.”

Seungmin brushed his hand over the top of the machine, as he muttered. “My dad bought me this a few years ago. We used to go out and take pictures together, until he got too busy with work and all that.” Seungmin hesitated, before carrying on. “Now, I only really take pictures for other people.” 

“Wait, do you get paid to take pictures of people? Like a legit photographer?” Felix stared at Seungmin in bewilderment as he nodded. “What do people usually get you to do?”

Seungmin hummed, in thought. “Well, I’ve never done anything as big as a wedding, or whatever. Usually people get me to take pictures of their dogs, I’ve perfected the optimal technique to take pictures of animals. I guess you could say it’s my _speciality_.” Suddenly, an idea hit Felix like a basketball to the rib cage. 

“Lee Minho!” Felix yelled across the room, manoeuvring between the easels dotted around the art room. Minho, true to his nature, didn’t even flinch, focusing on the drawing in front of him that he was about to add colour to through paint. Panting, Felix reached his usual seat, sinking down onto the stool and throwing his backpack on the floor. “Minho! I know how you can draw your cats _perfectly_!”

Minho dropped the paintbrush in his hand, yanked the earphones from the sides of his face, and turned at attention to Felix. “I’m listening.”

See, Minho had cats. Three, to be exact. Soon, Doong and Dori. And he loved them probably more than your mother loved you, but I guess that’s up for debate. However, as much as he loved his cats as if he gave birth to them himself, he couldn’t quite get past this one issue: they were impossible to photograph. Capturing one of them by camera was a fiendish task on its own, but three at the same time was just asking to fail. The reason Minho wanted a family portrait of his ‘furry little brothers’, as he would put it, aside from the fact he merely wanted a picture of them, was because he had a wish to draw them himself. Sure, he could do so from memory, but he wanted a reference point. And, considering even taking a simple picture was a hassle, he couldn’t imagine getting them to sit in the same position together for hours, unless they were sleeping, but even then their sleep schedules were literally like day and night: when one was asleep, the others would be awake. 

“Well, I happen to know someone who takes pictures of pets professionally!” Felix explained, excitedly. He took his phone out and showed him the pictures Seungmin sent him of his work. 

One of Minho’s eyebrows went up in intrigue. “They’re pretty good. So, I’m supposed to pay this person to take pictures for me?”

“Hey, I’m just offering you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make your dreams come true...” Felix drawled, raising his palms in surrender. 

Minho pursed his lips for a moment. “Okay, sure. Let them know I’m interested.”

“Brilliant!” Felix grinned, before forcing himself to say the next words. “The person is Kim Seungmin by the way.” Minho stared at him for a moment. 

“No.” He placed his earphones back in. 

Felix rolled his eyes, shaking Minho’s arm and begging him in almost a whiny tone. “Come on, you’ve been waiting for something like this for _ages_! You can’t just turn it down because of someone you used to be _friends_ with. It’s not like you’re _mortal enemies_!”

“Just drop it, Yongbok.” Minho muttered, going back to the outline of a vase he was working on. 

Felix let out a humph. “One hour of awkwardness, that’s all it will cost you... aside from the actual fee. If you want to spend the rest of your life painting vases, then keep acting like this.” He looked away, coyly. “Besides, I already spoke to Seungmin and he agreed.” Minho’s hand froze against the easel, taking a beat. 

“Are you sure he said he wanted me to do it?” Seungmin asked, packing up his backpack as lunch had ended, meaning so had his tutoring session with some of the underclassmen. “That doesn’t sound like Minho.”

“Are you kidding?!” Felix spluttered, in disbelief. “He was jumping at the chance!”

“That doesn’t sound like Seungmin.” Minho creased his eyebrow, putting his paintbrush back down. 

Felix waved a hand in the air, passively. “Trust me, he’s all in.”

Seungmin tilted his head. “If you say so. You’ll be there too, right?”

“You want me there?” Felix blinked, and Minho nodded, causing the blonde boy to sigh dramatically. “Well, if you insist.” 

“Okay, let me know when to come by his house.” Seungmin nodded, trying to hide the apprehension in his voice as he pulled his backpack on. 

“Tell him he can come by on Saturday, then.” Felix grinned cheekily at Minho’s reply, causing Minho to dab his paintbrush in the cup of water beside him and splash it towards Felix, making him squeal in surprise. 

Felix left the classroom with Seungmin, the two parting ways as Felix almost skipped down the corridor with glee, lost in his thoughts. He couldn’t believe his plan was actually going... to plan. He couldn’t wait to tell Chan. Completely enthralled with the fact everything was going the way he hoped it would, Felix didn’t notice that he was about to walk straight into a wall. Luckily, his knight in shining school shoes appeared by his side, bringing a hand to clasp against his forehead before it could make impact. “Woah, you should really pay attention to where you’re going, or you might fall off a cliff or something.” Felix gave Chan an abashed look, smiling thankfully. “What were you thinking about that had you so entranced?”

“Well, let’s just say Operation: Found Boys is going smoother than I could have ever imagined.”

Chan let out a laugh, his eyes crinkling. “Operation: Found Boys? That’s adorable.” He bit his smile back, sighing, as he watched Felix’s cheeks suddenly bloom crimson. “Anyway, I have to get to class, but I’ll see you after school?”

Felix nodded, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. “Meet at the boba place? You know, I still haven’t paid you back for the tea you got me from the first time.” 

Only God knew what possessed Chan in that moment, as he pressed his lips together before pulling them into a smile. “Ah, forget about it, a gentleman always pays on the first date.” Felix stared at him, the words barely processing through his brain, as all he could do was watch Chan walk away to his next class.


	3. Chapter 3

As Chan walked away, the only thought going through his mind was: what the hell? Face scrunched up in disconcertion, he forced himself not to turn around and spy Felix’s reaction to his final statement, to save the last bit of composure he had left. Why did he have to go and say that for? What did he even mean? Was he calling their first meeting a date, because that would have been just slightly creepy and way too forward. Or, was he calling their meeting after school that day a date? Chan wanted to throw himself into a dumpster. If _Chan_ didn’t even know what he meant, then _Felix_ definitely didn’t either, which he couldn’t tell if it made things better or worse. He blamed his sudden slip of words on the fact he had an impromptu 90s romcom binge the night before, suddenly in the mood to watch cheesy high-school romances play out to a happily ever after. _A gentleman always pays on the first date_? How 20th century, Chan thought to himself, refraining from physically slapping a hand to his forehead. I mean, would he have minded if Felix thought their meeting after school was a date? He couldn’t think of a reason to be against it: Felix was amazing, thoughtful, fun, and had the incredible ability to cheer anyone up within a matter of seconds. Not to mention he was undeniably _adorable_. Chan found himself smiling just thinking of Felix’s smile. 

A can rolled across the path, stopping at Chan’s feet. Curiosity getting the better of him, he bent down and picked up the can, turning it over to see it was spray paint, the black colour staining Chan’s fingers. Glancing forward, he found the source of where the can had come from and grit his teeth in disappointment. Though he had class on the other side of the school campus, Chan walked towards the group of boys who were crowded laughingly around a dumpster. “Did you drop something?”

The crowd parted down the middle to reveal the dark haired boy who was spritzing paint onto the metal surface. “Oh, hey Channie! You wanna join in? There’s a space left.” Chan stared at Hyunjin, shaking his head lightly in disbelief. 

“Hyunjin, what are you doing? And don’t give me a smart-ass answer like ‘ _what do you think I’m doing?_ ’, what are you actually doing with your life?”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, a humoured smirk pulling at his lips. “Save me the _hero’s speech_ , Channie, it won’t work. Besides, take a look.” Hyunjin slid aside to show Chan what exactly he was doing, to reveal the blue dumpster had been covered in black spray paint. “They can’t take me down for defacing, it’s more like... revamping.” 

“So, this is what you do?” Chan raised an eyebrow. “Find loopholes in the school rules? This is what you waste your time doing, with _these people_?” Hyunjin cut his eyes, throwing the spray can in his grasp to one of the boys standing beside him, before stalking up to the blonde haired boy. 

“ _These people_ are my friends, Chan. When The Lost Boys fell apart, _they_ were the ones who were there for me when I needed it. You might not agree with what we do and the way we do things, but frankly,” Hyunjin let out a mirthless laugh, “you haven’t been here the past four years. So, I don’t know where you get off thinking you can waltz back into our lives and try to play happy families because that’s not going to work. Know your place and stay there.”

Chan unclenched his jaw, Hyunjin’s words sinking in. He was right. Was Chan being selfish in not considering that maybe getting The Lost Boys back together would only be good for _him_? The others had moved on with their lives, did he have any right rocking the boat now? He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by an authoritative tone. “You boys! What do you think you’re doing?!” One of their teachers marched up to them, waving a stick in the air. “Oho, defacing school property, are we?” He used the stick to knock the can of spray paint from Chan’s hand which he completely forgot about. 

“No, wait, I didn’t-!”

“Are you talking back to me?” The man accused, causing Chan to lower his head and deny politely. He asked for his name, before scoffing once he heard it. “Ah, you’re the new student, from Australia. Hm, shouldn’t expect anything less from a foreigner.” His head snapped to Hyunjin. “And, you. Why is it always you?” He poked Hyunjin’s side with the stick, but not enough to actually hurt him.

“With all due respect, sir,” (which wasn’t a lot, Hyunjin thought to himself), “We weren’t defacing school property. The school rules state that we cannot deface school property. However, it doesn’t say anything about spraying an entire dumpster black, which would not be defacing it as defacing is defined to be ‘ _spoiling the surface of something by drawing or writing on it_ ’, therefore you cannot give us detention for defacement of school property.” Chan couldn’t help the impressed look on his face, thinking Hyunjin could make a good lawyer. Although, their teacher didn’t quite share Chan’s impression. 

“Is that right?” He sneered, stepping closer to Hyunjin until they were almost nose to nose. “All of you, report to detention after school today.” He took a beat, watching Hyunjin try to argue back, when his features moulded into a proud smirk. “For loitering on school property, _and_ truanting from class.”

Oh. Hyunjin hadn’t thought of that one. 

The teacher gave the boys who were still by the dumpster a look, so they knew he meant them as well, before side-eyeing Chan who looked like he wanted to protest but thought better of it. Ordering them to get to class, he corralled the group with his stick like farm animals, not giving Chan a moment to speak with Hyunjin as they were in different classrooms. After school, Chan texted Felix to let him know he wouldn’t be able to make it for... whatever it was, at the boba-tea shop, and navigated his way to the detention room. Even in detention, Chan wasn’t able to talk to Hyunjin. He was slumped into a desk at the back, covered in carvings and permanent pen markings which Hyunjin may or may not have contributed to, his gang of half-wits surrounding him as he dozed off while Chan was sat in the middle row, thinking of a way to get Hyunjin on his own. Alas, detention had ended quicker than Chan anticipated and noticed that everyone was starting to leave while he was lost in his thoughts. Chan ran out of the room, spotting the group of boys who had just left the detention room and yelled Hyunjin’s name. To his surprise, but ultimate relief, Hyunjin turned around slowly and tilted his head at Chan with an irritated look on his face. 

Felix glanced down at his phone for the... he’d lost count how many times, to see that Chan had indeed not texted him back. Sighing, he turned his phone over so he would stop pressing the screen out of habit. Felix and Chan were meant to hang out after school but Chan texted him last minute, saying something had come up and that he would explain later, but he hadn’t responded to Felix’s last reply for over an hour. Jisung slurped audibly through his straw, before leaning back, lolling against his seat. “Why do you keep checking your phone?”

“No reason.” Felix mumbled against his palms as he rubbed his face, tiredly. He pulled his hands away, remembering. “Oh, have you started sorting out plays for the basketball game next month?” Jisung’s eyes widened slightly, telling Felix all he needed to know. “Jisung! This is a really important game, scouts are coming and it’s a home game, we have to win this one!”

Jisung raised his hands defensively. “And, we will! Have trust in me, will you? I know what I’m doing. They don’t call me _Han-Shot_ for nothing.” 

“No one calls you that.” Felix blinked, holding back a dubious look. “What does that even mean?”

“You know... because I get it in the hoop every time. Just takes one shot... Han-Shot, _One-Shot_ , you get it.” Jisung waved him off, flippantly, taking another loud sip of his drink as Felix pressed his lips together, eyes narrowed questioningly at the boy in front of him.  
The movement of the door opening caught Felix’s attention, his eyebrows creasing in both curiosity and puzzlement the moment he saw Chan and Hyunjin entering the shop. Jisung noticed Felix’s attention drift, and followed to look where he was looking but soon regretted it. 

Hyunjin spun around to leave the shop, almost immediately after entering it, causing him to collide into Chan. “I knew this was a trap, I don’t know why I agreed to-“

Chan held him by his shoulders to stop him from running off. “This wasn’t a trap, I didn’t know he would be here. Hey, look, they’re sitting in that corner, we’ll sit over.” He gestured to a table against the window, on the opposite side of the shop to Felix and Jisung. Hyunjin breathed deeply, but sat down nonetheless.  
Chan placed two teas down on the table, one in front of himself and one in front of Hyunjin. “Taro is still your favourite, right?”  
Hyunjin didn’t say anything, but picked up the drink and put the straw to his lips. Chan smiled awkwardly, taking a drink of his own tea, before gazing out the window. “Right, well, I should probably get to it.” Chan chuckled, looking back to see Hyunjin still had the same bored expression on his face. “I just wanted to apologise, for earlier. I shouldn’t have insulted you or your friends. You’re right, I haven’t been here for the last few years and I haven’t been here for you, for any of you. For that, I really am sorry.” 

Taking a beat, Hyunjin unfolded his arms and sat up. “Okay. Apology accepted.”

Chan nodded contently, before a question graced his consciousness, asking it before he realised he had done so. “I still don’t understand how you all stopped being friends. I get that you and Jisung-“ Hyunjin’s head snapped up at the name, and Chan faltered before carrying on. “Well, I get that you guys had a misunderstanding-“

“It wasn’t a misunderstanding, though. He tripped me on purpose.”

“How do you know that, for sure?” Chan challenged. “You really think Jisung would stoop that low, for a spot on the basketball team? Come on, you know him.”

“Maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. Maybe none of us knew each other as well as we thought we did.” Hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, visibly getting more frustrated. “This has been fun, thanks for the tea and the _lovely_ conversation, but I need to head out.” Hyunjin stood up, pausing to add. “This thing between Jisung and me is never going to be solved. So, don’t even bother trying.” Chan yielded for the moment, allowing Hyunjin to take his leave as the dark-haired boy made his way to the door of the shop, reaching out to the handle so he could pull it open when another hand had reached out at the same time. 

“You go first.” Jisung spoke, trying to hide any hostility in his voice, as all he wanted was to get out of the situation as smoothly as he could. Unfortunately for him, Hyunjin was already in a less-than-gracious mood due to the day’s happenings, resulting in a confrontation that could have been easily avoided if Jisung left his seat a few seconds earlier or later. 

“Oh, no. After you, you are the _captain of the basketball team_ after all. In fact, would you like me to hold the door open for you _sire_?” Hyunjin yanked the door open with more force than necessary. “Make sure you don’t trip on the way out.” Jisung stared at him, balling his hands up in irritation, but thought better than to say anything. He simply walked out, the sneer on Hyunjin’s face dropping as he exited after him. Both Chan and Felix must have thought the same thing, for the two scrambled out of their seats and ran onto the street, hoping they wouldn’t be stumbling into a brawl. Gladly, they came to see that both had walked in opposite directions, unscathed. Heaving out a deep sigh, Chan turned to Felix who was looking at him too, and they broke out into chuckles. 

“I can’t believe he actually said that about foreigners.” Felix paused. “Well, actually I can believe he said that, he’s a cunt.” Chan had informed Felix of everything that happened, Felix shocked at the way their teacher treated Chan earlier. 

Chan let out a theatrical gasp. “Felix Lee, did you just call our esteemed and honourable teacher the _C-word_?!” Felix rolled his eyes, shoving Chan’s shoulder who erupted into a giggle. “Anyway, and then I had detention, and met up with Hyunjin to apologise.” Chan bit his lip, in thought. “I think he has a point, though. What right do I have, coming back here, thinking I can just change things?” Chan kicked at a streetlamp they were passing, as they made their way down the street. “They’re probably better off as they are, without me interfering. They don’t need me, anyway.”

“What if they’re not?” Felix blurted out. He suddenly thought about what Seungmin’s mother said to him the day before. Minho eating lunch in the art room alone because he didn’t want to eat with strangers. Jisung never fitting in with the rest of the basketball team. Hyunjin forcing himself to be someone he’s not. Jeongin putting up with people that make him uncomfortable. “What if they would be so much happier being together again?” Felix looked up into Chan’s eyes who watched him analytically. “What if you’re exactly what they need?” There was a strong moment of silence, both of them halting their footsteps and Chan soaked in Felix’s words, with contemplation. Felix cleared his throat, being the first to break eye contact and they continued to walk. “Besides, I’ve already gotten Minho and Seungmin to agree to meet up so there’s no backing out now.”

Chan did a double take. “Wait, seriously?! I thought those two would be the hardest to crack. You’re incredible.” 

“What can I say..?” Felix twirled around in a spiral in the middle of the pavement before stopping directly in front of Chan, holding his palms to either side of his face, cutely. “It’s a gift.” 

“Adorable.” Chan breathed below his breath, so quiet that Felix couldn’t hear it as he had already skipped a few feet away. Chan jogging after him, the two were almost racing down the road, dodging the odd pedestrian or mother pushing a pram, as well as trying not to get run over. They made it to the end of the road, their hands falling to their knees so their breaths could catch up with them. Chan straightened up first, his attention latching onto the building in front of them, across the road. “Is this the famous bakery you keep telling me about?” 

Felix’s family lived above a bakery, which they owned. It belonged to his grandparents, and once his family moved to Korea his mother took over.  
Chan squinted, reading the simple yellow font against the red background of the sign just above the door. “ _Haengbok Ppangjib_? Happiness Bakery. That’s sweet.” 

“It’s what my grandma calls me. _Haengbokkie _.” Felix rose, nodding with a bitter-sweet smile. “Thank you for walking me home. I’ll text you later.” Felix was about to cross the street, when Chan pulled him back by his blazer sleeve.__

__“Hang on, you can’t expect me to walk you home and not even step into the bakery that you love so much, and talk about all the time. Plus, you owe me a cake, remember?” Chan winked, marching across the road once a car had passed by. Felix felt his chest flutter suddenly at the small action, before he slapped a hand to his forehead for being so silly, following after his friend._ _

__A burst of warm, floury air hit Chan in the face, but it was much gentler and less intense than the last time. Eyes washing over the interior, he couldn’t help but smile at how homely it was. There were two round tables against the wall on the right with a couple of mismatched chairs at each one, varying in size and shape. The walls were a simple white, but there was a medium-sized family portrait of Felix and his family, including his grandfather. It looked semi-recent, maybe taken just a few months prior. There was a bulletin board covered in flyers and sheets of paper parallel to the door, some of them looked like children’s drawings. Chan imagined they were the handiwork of Felix’s little sister. To the right, was the cashier’s counter, and a cold case where a multitude of cakes were on display, ready for customers to buy. Behind the counter, was a workspace, which led on into the backroom where the main kitchen would be, the doorway separated by strips of plastic that hung like tassels. “Woah, this is so cute.”_ _

Felix scratched the back of his neck, nervously. “Really? You don’t think it’s... a bit _cheap_?” 

Chan whirled on him with an incredulous look. “Are you kidding? This place is rich in personality, and that’s what matters. It’s lovely.” Chan grinned, dimples on full display. There went Felix’s heart again. Damn it, Felix cursed to himself, shaking the feeling off. Quickly, he dove under the counter and grabbed his apron which was freshly washed, slipping it around his neck and tying it around his waist. 

“Welcome to Happiness Bakery, how can I help you today?” Felix put on his _work voice_ , as he liked to call it, the one he used when he would work there part-time. 

Chan held back a smirk, playing along. He bowed back. “Hello, what do you recommend?”

Felix hummed, eyes shooting up to the ceiling, in genuine thought, before they lit up. He moved over to the display case, picking out the dessert he had in mind. Moving back, he held the dessert out with flourish. “This is our classic strawberry jam and cream doughnut. A personal favourite.” Chan pretended to eye up the confectionery, before waving it away with his hand. Felix’s jaw dropped at the cheekiness, but he went back and replaced the doughnut with an apple strudel. Chan raised an eyebrow as if to ask if he was being serious. Felix pouted, rushing to swap the pastry for a simple chocolate cake with chocolate ganache. 

Chan smiled. “Took you long enough.” 

Biting his bottom lip to stop any snarky comments from spilling out as Chan was technically his customer, Felix boxed up the cake, placing it into a paper bag for Chan to carry. “Very funny.” Felix remarked, when Chan asked him how much the cake was. “No way I’m letting you pay for this. Like you said: _I owe you_. Take it and go.” 

Now it was Chan’s turn to pout. “Hm, is that how you talk to your customers? I thought an establishment like this would have some manners in place.” 

“ _Ne, sonnim_!” Felix singsonged in Korean, cutting his eyes at Chan with a tight smile. “Now leave. I already said you’re not paying for this, I refuse to ring it up.” He added the second part, after Chan tried to argue that he wouldn’t leave until he paid for the cake. A thought crossed Chan’s mind, and he told Felix to wait where he was as he bounded out of the shop. Puzzled, all Felix could do was stand there awkwardly, wondering if Chan would ever return. 

“Hello? Felix?” A voice sounded through the space, Felix’s mother appearing through the mesh of plastic, holding a tray of freshly baked bread. “Ah, Yongbok, you’re here? Good, I just finished mixing some cookie dough, I need you to ball some cookies up and put half of it away for tomorrow.” Felix’s lips quivered to speak, but as he was about to, Chan burst into the shop again, his breathing ragged. Felix’s mother’s eyes widened in concern, but she brushed it off. “Uh, welcome to Happiness Bakery, how can we help you today?”

“Mum.” Felix cut in quickly. “This is Chan, my new friend from school. Chan, this is my mum.” Chan inhaled deeply, bowing a greeting to which Mrs Lee returned. 

“Ah, Chan, yes. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you from my Yongbokkie-“

“Mum!” Felix blurted out, wishing he could jump into the industrial oven they had in the back. Chan just smiled politely, trying his hardest not to let his ears grow red. Abruptly, he remembered why he had run out and froze. Deciding to just go through with it, despite the new addition of Felix’s mother as an audience, Chan had already committed this far he wasn’t going to back out now. Slamming his hand onto the counter, he gave Felix a proud smirk. “Chan, what is this?!”

“Your tip.” He replied, feigning innocence. Felix picked up the two ₩50,000 notes, staring at Chan in disbelief. Mrs Lee sneakily slipped one of them out of his fingers and held it up against the light, to see if it was real. It was. 

“Chan, you realise this is almost 120 Australian dollars, right?!” Felix let out a scoff, filled with utter bewilderment, as Chan nodded. 

“Yes, well, you wouldn’t accept my payment but you can’t turn down a tip.” 

“Chan, it’s a piece of cake.”

Chan winked again. “It sure is. Thank you for your services. They were _excellent_.” He bowed towards Mrs Lee who watched the entire encounter, entertained. “It’s lovely to meet you, you have a gorgeous shop. I’ll definitely come back again.”

Felix blinked rapidly, Chan blissfully walking out of the shop with his slice of chocolate cake, humming a tune to himself. Felix’s mother draped an arm over his shoulders, resting her chin on his right one. “So, that’s Chan. Interesting young man. Seems very sweet, though. Handsome, too, I’m sure you agree.” She teased, Felix snapping back to reality. 

“Mum!” He whined, mortified. 

She giggled softly. “I’m just saying, you could do a lot worse than someone like him.” Felix smacked both hands over his face, hoping a monster terrorising the city would swoop its arm through the door and grab him so he could escape the conversation. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone. That smile, though. _Heart-fluttering_.”

“Tell me about it.” Felix mumbled to himself, his mother already walking away. Glancing down at the notes left on the table, Felix felt like there was an angry butterfly stuck in his ribcage, aching to escape. 

“Isn’t it obvious? You like him.” Changbin stated, placing his pen down to spin his office chair around and face Felix, who was laying on his back on Changbin’s bed, his head hanging off the end. 

“I do?” Felix rolled over, almost falling off the side, before picking himself up to kneel against the duvet. “How do you know?”

“Well, I’m no doctor but I’m not an idiot either.” Changbin slid his chair closer to the bed. “Everything you’re feeling, everything you’re thinking. They’re all sure signs of _love_.” He elongated the final word, teasingly, and Felix hit him with his own pillow. 

“Don’t be a fool, I’m not in love.” Felix tilted his head, thoughtfully. “How can I know _for sure_ , though? If I like him.”

“I don’t know, ask him?” Changbin suggested, Felix furrowing his eyebrows. 

“You want me to ask _Chan_ if _I_ like him?” 

“No, ask him if he likes you.” Changbin shrugged. “Maybe finding out if he likes you, will let you know if you like him.” 

“That’s horrible advice.”

“It’s the only advice you have, so take it or leave it.”

Felix smiled in mock contempt. “I think I’ll leave it, thanks. I don’t know why I’m asking you, as if you know anything about love- feelings. About feelings.” Changbin scrunched his face up for a moment, before moving back over to his desk. Felix checked the time on his phone. “I have to go, it’s almost dinner time.”

“Bye, you know the way out.” Changbin called, waving his hand dismissively. Of course, Felix being Felix, he wasn’t going to leave without a hug. “Felix, get off me!” Changbin groaned, the blonde boy having wrapped his arms around him in a back hug. Though Changbin let out curses at his best friend, he hugged him back tightly, chuckling at the embrace. “Oh, are you coming over tomorrow? I have that new game we wanted to play.” 

Felix straightened up. “Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Saturday, isn’t it?” Changbin nodded, and Felix expelled an awkward laugh. “I can’t, I have to... work at the bakery.”

Changbin’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t work on Saturdays.”

“I know! I just, I asked for extra shifts. You know, with my granddad in hospital, and such, I thought I should help out more.” It wasn’t a total lie, Felix did offer to help out more at the bakery with his granddad being ill, but he wasn’t working that particular Saturday. He hated the idea of deceiving Changbin but if he told him that he was getting Minho and Seungmin to meet up, then he would catch on to the plan and he couldn’t afford for any of them to know of his involvement, not even his best friend. 

“Right, okay. Another day, then.” Changbin concluded and Felix gave him another squeeze, much to his fake protests, before heading home in time for dinner.

“Have you worked with many cats?” Felix asked Seungmin, as the two of them walked up to Minho’s front door. 

“Yes, they’re surprisingly easier to handle than dogs.” Seungmin replied, simply, as Felix knocked on the door. 

“What about two at the same time?” 

Seungmin’s head snapped to Felix, as the door swung open, revealing Minho wearing grey sweats. “Hey. Come in.”  
Minho wasted no time in leading the two through his house and into the garden where his cats were strutting around on the grass, considering it was a particularly sunny day. 

“Um, Felix didn’t mention that you had two cats now-“

“I have three.”

“You have three? I thought you had two!” Felix exclaimed. 

“I thought you had one.” Seungmin admitted. 

Minho stared at them, his face expressionless. He gestured to the grass, where there were indeed three cats playing among the greenery. Seungmin and Felix both made sounds of realisation. “You _can_ do this, right? Because I’m not paying you if the pictures don’t come out to my liking.”

“Of course he can.” Felix answered for Seungmin, who merely pushed his glasses up slightly. He opened his bag, taking his equipment out. Felix bent down to stroke one of the orange cats, who purred deeply at his actions. “What are their names?”

“The one you have right now is Soon, this guy here is Doong.” Minho picked up the slightly less orangey cat, cradling him in his arms. “And the one trying to eat Seungmin’s equipment is Dori.” The grey cat had managed to crawl into Seungmin’s bag that he left on the ground. Panicking, Seungmin grabbed Dori gently and placed him back in the grass, but that just caused him to venture back into the blue duffel bag. Sighing, Minho placed Doong down, walking over to retrieve his youngest cat. “Felix said you were good at controlling animals.”

“I am. Usually.” Seungmin mumbled. He took in a deep breath, trying to find his work mojo he normally had no difficulty tuning into. Once he had eventually set everything up, he grinded his teeth slightly, trying to think of how he could get three cats to sit together for a picture. “Minho, do you have any toys of theirs?” He returned with a few random bits and pieces, Seungmin assessing all of them before picking up the feather on a stick. Seungmin lowered himself on to his knees, holding the stick up higher in the air. It caught the attention of Soon, which in turn caught Dori’s attention too, but Doong was walking around aimlessly. 

“Doongie...” Minho tutted, clapping his hands together gently, causing his ears to twitch. Without thinking, Minho moved closer, kneeling beside Seungmin as he directed Doong’s attention to the feather. Now, all three cats had their eyes on the feather. Thinking quickly, Seungmin waved the stick from the left to the right, their heads following like hawks, before he brought it in front of the camera lens and held it there for a second. Suddenly, he dropped his arm, taking the picture before any of their eye contacts could drop with it. Seungmin pulled the camera away from his face, showing Minho the result of the first picture. Felix swore he could see the glimmer of a smile on his face. “I like it. But, keep going. I might be paying you with money, but you’re costing me my time too.”

Seungmin packed up the last bit of equipment, zipping his bag up, once they were done. “I’ll send you the photos in a couple of days.”

Minho nodded, solemnly. He paused. “Thank you. The pictures, from what I can see, came out really well. I can’t wait to have them.” 

Seungmin nodded back, just as seriously. “You’re welcome. Well, we should get going. We have a study session.” 

“Why don’t you join us?” Felix offered Minho, both Minho and Seungmin becoming paralysed. Felix put his hands on Minho’s shoulders. “You know, Minho was saying how he’s been struggling with Math, so why not? We could help him. And by we, I mean you.” Minho started to turn it down, but Felix practically dragged him into the house and to his bedroom, so he could retrieve his studying equipment. 

They had only been studying at Seungmin’s house for an hour, Minho having thought it would be a waste of time until he realised how good of a tutor Seungmin really was as the equations weren’t just jumbled up scribbles in his head anymore and actually started to make sense, when Mrs Kim stumbled into the living room. “My, is that little Lee Minho? I haven’t seen you in so long! How are you, dear? Have you been well?”

“Hello Mrs Kim.” Minho greeted politely, bowing his head. “Yes, it’s been a long time and I am well. I hope you are well, also.” Seungmin closed his eyes, in irritation.

His mother beamed at Minho a little too excitedly for Seungmin’s liking. “Ah, it really is so lovely to see you and my Seungminnie are friends again.”

“We’re not.” Seungmin denied, pointedly, tapping at his calculator almost aggressively. 

She carried on, the same genuine smile on her face. “Would you boys like anything? Any juice, or snacks? Some tea?” Felix and Minho rejected her offer politely, noting how Seungmin looked like he was one food offering away from a breakdown. 

Mrs Kim left to the kitchen, and Minho couldn’t hold back the question Felix had been wanting to ask for a while. “Why do you hate your mum?”

Okay, that wasn’t the question. 

“What Minho means- I think- is, why do you and your mum not get along?” Felix rectified, Minho shrugging. 

“We do?” Seungmin thought about it for a moment. “I mean, we do for the most part. She’s just always trying to get way too involved in my life. It’s so annoying.”

“I wish my mum was like that.” Minho scoffed under his breath, the other two turning to him. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud, forget it-“

“No, if I can say my piece, you should say yours too.” Seungmin urged, for the first time in the last few years, completely ignoring the work in front of him. 

Minho threw the ruler in his hand onto his exercise book. “I don’t know, my mum doesn’t really care about what I do. She doesn’t even know I like to draw, or anything. I just wish she was a little bit more interested, but she’s always got her head in the clouds. It’s like she forgets I exist. My dad is alright, we talk when we can but he works night shifts, so when he’s at work I’m at home, and when he’s at home I’m at school.”

“My dad’s the same. He’s always working, I can’t remember the last time I saw him not wearing a suit.” Seungmin revealed. “I guess that’s why my mum is always in my business. I just wish she would stop pushing this _normal life_ agenda on me. I like my life how it is, I don’t need to hang out with loads of people or join a sports teams to be happy.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” Minho nodded. “It’s like, they don’t understand that some people just like being with their own company. They just call us _antisocial_ , or whatever.”

Seungmin smiled lightly. “Exactly. Just because I enjoy my own company doesn’t mean I’m going to die alone. At least, that’s how my mum keeps putting it.”

“You’re not going to die alone. You just need to find the right person who you can be alone with _together_.” Minho scrunched his mouth up with a subtle smile, looking at Seungmin who was looking back at him. Felix smirked to himself, finishing off his last math equation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: might delete uni so I can focus on writing fiction about eight kids from south korea, idk. 
> 
> disclaimer: themes of anxiety, and mention of death

Monday lunchtime, Jisung set his tray of food down on the table where the basketball team sat everyday, taking his usual seat in the very corner. Not a single eyelash was batted his way, something Jisung was used to but he hoped maybe that day would bring him a miracle. It was evident that the team respected him as their captain, listening attentively when he would help them train or following his orders when it came to strategy, leading the team to several victories. However, the second they stepped off the basketball court, it was like they didn’t even know his name. Jisung wouldn’t be surprised if they actually didn’t, seeing as they only referred to him as ‘ _captain_ ’. It was kind of the reason why he and Felix had become so close. Partway through tenth grade, months after Jisung had taken the last place, one of his teammates decided to quit basketball to focus on his studies more, thus opening up an empty spot just as Felix had landed in Korea. By this point, Hyunjin and Jisung were sworn enemies, Hyunjin not even imagining to be on the same team as Jisung, allowing Felix to stroll in and take the place once he proved what an ace player he was. After making the team, Felix introduced himself to all of the boys to get familiar with them, completely shocking Jisung that a member of the basketball team was actually conversing with him. From then on, Felix made a conscious effort to always speak to Jisung when he could and check up on him until it was no longer an effort, the two fast becoming friends. 

Sadly, Jisung slumped in his seat as the group of boys who insisted on wearing their basketball jerseys everywhere continued to guffaw at one another’s jokes as if Jisung wasn’t even there. He shrugged, deciding to direct his attention down at the food placed before him. The meals served at their school were unexpectedly good enough that Jisung would willingly pay for it in a restaurant. It had everything you could ask for: some kind of soup, with rice and kimchi, as well as two different sides. As it was Monday, the menu served spicy chicken stew (with rice and kimchi), and two sides consisting of mini seafood pancakes and a couple of orange wedges. Though it wasn’t Jisung’s favourite lunch menu, he still enjoyed it thoroughly, the food part of lunchtime being the only thing he looked forward to for that period.

“I’ll eat well.” He muttered to himself, picking up his spoon to taste the broth, when suddenly his vision was compromised. A hand had clamped over his eyes, causing Jisung to drop his cutlery with a dramatic clatter. “Just take the food and go, please don’t hurt me!”

A chuckle sounded behind him, followed by a familiar voice. “I’m not here to steal your food, I’m here to steal _you_.” 

“Chan? It’s always the one you least expect.” Jisung sighed, Chan’s hand still firmly over his face. “Can I at least finish my lunch first?”

“No.” Chan denied. “Well, you can. But this isn’t your lunch.” 

Jisung wasn’t even granted a moment to breathe, as Chan had dragged Jisung out of his seat and navigated him around the cafeteria. They might as well have been ghosts to the rest of the table as they barely noticed Jisung had been kidnapped. Flailing his arms in front of him, Jisung tried to move cautiously but Chan was quick with his pace, causing the two to stumble as they finally made their way to the table in the far corner, the one that they were sat at on Chan’s first day. Once Jisung pinky-swore he wouldn’t open his eyes, Chan moved away onto the other side of the table. There was a lot of shuffling, Jisung’s impatience growing, until he heard what he could only imagine was the sound of... a match?

“Okay, you can look now.” Chan grinned, watching Jisung’s eyes flutter open before widening and shining at what was waiting for him on the surface of the table. A chocolate biscuit base with a vanilla cream-cheese body, caramel sauce covering the top, and chocolate shavings sprinkled like fairy dust. There was one white candle sitting in the centre of the cheesecake, the flame glowing orange. 

Jisung’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “You didn’t!”

“But, I did! I asked Mother Cook to make it especially for you. I remember how you used to love her cheesecake.” Chan chuckled, Jisung staring at it like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. “Happy birthday, Sungie!”

“You remembered...” Jisung felt like his cheeks were going to burst, from smiling so intensely. “Thank you, Channie!” Jisung jumped up from his seat and grabbed Chan’s face, placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Chan pushed him away, laughingly, wiping his face with his sleeve. Jisung apologised sheepishly, claiming he got a bit too excited and Chan brushed it off, just glad that Jisung was happy. The eager boy’s eyes fell back on the dessert. “This is all for me, right?”

“Of course, this is your lunch.” Chan rolled his eyes playfully, handing Jisung a spoon which he gladly took. “Eat up, birthday boy.” Jisung grabbed the spoon like how a toddler would, pausing to blow the candle out where the flame extinguished after the fourth attempt, before quite literally digging in. “Uh, slow down, though. You might get a stomach ache.” Jisung carried on blissfully tucking in, claiming he would be fine through mouthfuls. He had demolished the entire pan in just under five minutes, leaving Chan gobsmacked. “And I thought I ate like a beast.”

Jisung licked the remaining biscuit crumbs from the corners of his lips. “Seriously, thank you Chan. I ate well.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Chan teased, blinking rapidly at Jisung who looked like he wanted to lick the pan. “Make sure you don’t throw up later, though. I don’t want to be responsible for you being sick on your birthday.” 

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve got a stomach of steel-'' Jisung let out a comical burp, holding his fist to his chest. Chan shook his head, questioning if Jisung was even real. “Again, thank you so much for this, I’m very grateful. Wow, I can’t imagine what you have planned for Yongbok’s birthday if this is what you did for me.”

“Yongbok’s birthday?”

Jisung nodded slowly, tilting his head. “Yeah, it’s tomorrow.” 

Chan paused, double checking he was hearing right. “Tomorrow?! Felix is a _day_ younger than you...” 

“I know, crazy, right?” Jisung sighed in amusement. “What are the odds that we would both be born in the same year, in the same month, and almost the same day?” Chan looked down and Jisung took note of the forlorn expression on his face. “I’m sure he had a reason for not telling you. He only told me because we’re almost-birthday-twins. Oh, right, it’s probably because of his grandma.”

Chan’s head snapped up. “What?”

Felix spotted Chan sitting on the bench he had asked Felix to meet him at, and slowly made his way over. A lot had been going through Felix’s mind. He spent most of Sunday questioning what he was feeling towards Chan (something his mother didn’t appreciate much when they were at church, for he kept zoning out) and whether it was genuine feelings or just him confusing friendship for something more. Of course, he thought Chan was good looking, extremely good looking, frankly he was shocked how good looking Chan was. From his floppy blonde hair to his signature dimpled smiled and soft eyes that would captivate you and you wouldn’t even notice it. Not to mention, just by looking at him you could tell he gave the best hugs: he had broad shoulders, and strong arms. In fact, Felix was probably the best height for Chan to rest his chin on the top of his head. Chan was also kind, and sweet, and made Felix feel so comfortable and warm. But, was that enough for him to say definitively that he _liked_ Chan? Yes, his heart would flutter at little things Chan would do now and then, and he made him happy without even trying. And, yes, when he saw Jisung kiss his cheek in the cafeteria it made him feel odd, even though he knew it didn’t mean anything since it was Jisung and Jisung was just... Jisung. Taking all of this into account, you’d think Felix’s thoughts would sort themselves out and decide on an answer but, in actuality, it just made things more confusing. Okay, so maybe he could admit he had an _ever so slight_ crush on Chan, but he couldn’t say with full certainty if he _liked_ him, at least not yet.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Felix greeted, taking a seat next to the boy he hadn’t stopped thinking about for two days straight. 

Chan smiled brightly, causing Felix’s breath to get caught in his throat, as he pocketed his phone. “Hi, did you eat lunch?” Nodding, Felix asked Chan what he wanted to talk to him about. “Uh, I spoke to Jisung. Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday tomorrow?” Felix froze, of all the things he theorised Chan wanted to talk to him about, that question wasn’t one of them. 

“What did he tell you?” Felix inquired, his voice quieter than he intended for it to come out. Chan explained that Jisung had only mentioned it was his birthday tomorrow, but didn’t elaborate much more. Felix cast his eyes away momentarily before deciding to tell Chan the truth. “Last year... my grandma passed away. On my birthday.” Chan’s face dropped immediately in shock, as Felix continued. “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t really know her much other than the phone calls my mum would force me into taking, and the random summer trips to Korea that got less frequent as we got older. But, you know, she was still my grandma. Um, but yeah, so after she passed we decided to move back to Korea, to support my grandad. My dad wanted him to move to Sydney but he couldn’t, he couldn’t leave the bakery. Not after he and grandma built it up themselves, looking after it for decades. Dad’s a freelancer, so it wasn’t really an issue to move and mum didn’t have a job so she took over the bakery when-“ Stopping himself, Felix hurriedly wiped away a tear that rolled down his cheek, turning to Chan in panic. He didn’t know why he was telling him all of this, it took months before Felix finally let Jisung know and he only knew half the story. There was something about Chan that made you want to trust him with your life... and your heart. Eyes shooting down, Felix couldn’t recall when Chan had grasped his hand into his own, something he had trouble telling whether Chan had done so subconsciously or on purpose. Either way, Chan didn’t seem to care as all he did was hold it tighter, a look of understanding on his face. 

“Was she happy?” Felix’s head jerked up, slightly taken aback by Chan’s choice of question. 

He smiled softly. “She always said she was. She always said that, God gave her everything she could want in life and that she was content and thankful.” Felix let out a bitter-sweet laugh. “That’s why she called me _Haengbokkie_. Well, because it rhymed with Yongbokkie, but also because she always wanted _me_ to be happy.” 

Chan smiled with him. “She sounds lovely.”

“She was.” Felix breathed. He shook off his thoughts. “Anyway, I know it’s only been a year but, I don’t know, it seems wrong to celebrate my birthday. I know I can’t mourn forever, but it’s the first anniversary of her death. It feels disrespectful.”

A thought crossed Chan’s mind. “Then don’t celebrate your birthday on your birthday. What are you doing today after school?” Felix tilted his head in confusion, reminding Chan of an adorable puppy, before replying that he didn’t have any plans. “Right, then we’ll celebrate your birthday today, that way tomorrow can be reserved just for your grandma. You only have your birthday once a year.”

Felix watched Chan, his vision blurred ever so slightly as if he was contemplating the proposal, before he finally offered a simple nod of his head. “Okay. But, we should invite Jisung too. It is his actual birthday today, after all.”

Chan scratched a hand through his curls quickly, looking to the side marginally. “Oh, true. Um, yeah, okay, I have class with him next, I’ll mention it. Uh, well, I guess if we’re inviting people, you should invite Changbin too. Since he’s your best friend and everything.”

“Changbin and Jisung? Together?” Felix bit his lip, unsurely. Felix’s plan to get _2min_ to rejoice - he decided to give them all codenames as it was just more fun that way - had worked out better than he thought it would. Seungmin agreed to tutor Minho in Math as Seungmin’s methods seemed to be the only way Minho could even comprehend basic equations, making it safe to say that the two were on speaking terms. “Hmm, I wasn’t planning on having them reconcile next, but this pairing feels easier than the others. You talk to Jisung and I’ll talk to Changbin, and we’ll see if they’re up for it.”

“Are _you_ up for it?” Chan asked to make sure Felix wasn’t just going along with it. 

Felix nodded firmly. “Yeah. My mum was asking me about what I wanted for my birthday and everything, and she was telling me not to _forget about myself_ or something. Apparently I have a problem with that.” He muttered the last part sheepishly. “That’s besides the point, grandma would have wanted me to spend time with people I care about.” 

“Aw, you care about me!” Chan gushed, holding a hand to his heart, unaware of how his sudden sentiment caused Felix’s entire face to hot up as if he’d just spent the entire day baking cookies. “Anyway, I’ll meet you and Changbin at the school gate with Jisung after school.” Brushing themselves off, the two walked back towards the school building, before parting down separate branches of the corridor. Felix relayed the conversation in his head, almost zoning out as he thought about how handsome Chan looked when he smiled so sincerely, but it only hit him when he reached the classroom doorway that Chan had said: _if we’re inviting people_. What did he mean? Did he want it to be just the two of them? Like... a date? Felix shook his head vehemently, taking his seat at the back, concluding he was overthinking things. But what if he did mean it as a date, and Felix had ruined things by inviting Jisung? Then, Chan should have been more clear, he thought defensively. But, what if he wasn’t clear because he didn’t want it to be a date, so he-

“Boo!” Changbin grabbed Felix’s shoulders, causing the boy to let out a shriek of terror. Changbin giggled to himself proudly as Felix waited for his heart rate to return back to normal. 

“Changbin, I told you not to do that anymore!” Felix complained, allowing himself to resolve into a chuckle. “Where did you run off to, by the way? After we ate?” 

Changbin dropped into his seat slowly. “Oh, that, I was just, I had some homework to do.”

Felix aspirated a scoff. “More homework? We’re in the same classes and I don’t get half as much homework as you claim. Someone would think you’re in a secret relationship, the way you always sneak off. Oh! Or, you’re a secret agent! Which one is it, secret relationship or secret agent?”

“If it was either and I told you, I would have to kill you.” Changbin joked, feigning solemness. Felix held his hands up in mock surrender, taking out his textbook from his backpack. “Oh, right, you’re one to talk about being secretive, bailing on me on Saturday and you wouldn’t even tell me where you went.”

“I was at the bakery!” Felix technically didn’t lie, as after he worked on Operation: Found Boys, he did help out at the bakery for a bit. Changbin simply hummed, not believing him, before asking if he wanted to hang out after school and finally play the video game that he wanted to play. Felix took this as his opening. “Chan actually suggested we do something today. After school. Together.”

“Wow, so he finally asked you out on a date.” 

“No!” Felix blurted out, before pouting to himself. “I’ve decided to believe he didn’t, because then I can believe I didn’t totally screw up by inviting Jisung, then he invited you-“

Changbin raised a hand to stop Felix’s words. “Hang on, so Chan asked you out on a date, which you wanted, and then you both invited other people? Wait- Jisung and me? You’re kidding.” Expelling an awkward laugh, Felix resorted to the only thing he knew that could make Changbin give in: _aegyo_.

“ _Binnie! Please, please, please will you come with us after school? For me? It can be my birthday present!_ ” Changbin’s mouth fell in realisation, causing Felix to sit up straight, from tugging on his arm like a toddler, with an exasperated expression. “You forgot it was my birthday tomorrow, didn’t you? Okay, now you have to come.”

Sighing, Changbin scrunched up his face. “I haven’t spoken to Jisung in ages, it’s gonna be so awkward.”

“No, it’s gonna be fun!” Felix whined, pouting extra hard for an added effect. 

Changbin cut his eyes at him, before finally relenting. “You know I can’t say no to you when you’re being cute like that. What are we even going to do?” Felix paused, realising he had no idea. 

“Bowling?!” Chan nodded in reply to Felix, whose eyes shone while scanning the bowling alley, spying the groups of people huddled around lanes, the sound of bowling balls rolling across the greasy surface, pins clattering as someone scored a strike followed by cheers and celebration. Relief washed over Chan, that Felix looked monumentally excited. “I’ve never been bowling before.”

Chan took a double take. “Wait, really? Never? So, you don’t know how to play?” 

“I guess you’re just going to have to teach me.” Felix smiled at him, his eyes creasing at the corners, before walking over to join Changbin and Jisung who were standing an awkward distance away from each other near the area where you exchange your own shoes for bowling shoes. Watching him walk away, Chan bit back a smile, thinking about how adorable Felix was, when the cashier called him up. Chan insisted on paying for everyone, claiming it wasn’t right to make the birthday boys pay and Changbin wasn’t going to pass up a free ticket. Felix felt bad, but Chan was so passionate about paying he wasn’t going to fight him on it (this time) as much as he wanted to. Once everyone was booted and directed to their lane, Felix came up with an idea, a sly smirk crossing his face. “Hey, why don’t we make things interesting and play in teams? Two-v-two?” 

Chan immediately picked up on what Felix was trying to do. “That sounds like a great idea, Felix you’re with me.” Changbin and Jisung stared at each other briefly, before realising the other was staring and glanced away at the same time. 

“Hey, what if I want to be Yongbok’s partner?” Jisung enquired. “You know, birthday boy solidarity and everything...”

Surprisingly, it was Changbin who was quick with a rebuttal. “Well, Yongbok has never played before and Chan is the best out of us so... it seems fair enough.” The other three were startled at Changbin’s response, leaving Jisung no excuse but to accept the decision. It was agreed that the losing team would pay for food afterwards, and Chan went ahead to serve the first bowl. Felix was about to join him at the foot of the lane when he felt Changbin lean into his ear. “You owe me for this one.” Smiling widely, Felix squeezed his best friend in a quick hug, before skipping ahead as Chan lined up with the pins, his fingers wedged into a black bowling ball. 

“Okay, so, the key to bowling is to keep your arm straight. You have to swing it back as far as you can and then swing it forwards quickly to build momentum.” Chan brought his arm back, before launching it in front of him, the ball releasing from his fingers. Smoothly, it glided across the wooden lane, stopping at the end as it knocked down eight out of ten pins. 

Felix clapped his hands together wildly, the impressed look on his face doing way too much for Chan’s ego. “Woah, is there anything you _can’t_ do?” The question was meant to be rhetorical, but it caused Chan to pause and genuinely ponder. Felix rolled his eyes, playfully shoving Chan’s shoulder, making him crack a smile as he lined up his next bowl, taking down the last two pins. Sneaking a glance at the other two, who were sitting in one of the nearby booths, Felix frowned slightly at how they were on opposite ends, both completely engrossed with whatever they were doing on their respective phones. 

Chan called to Felix, bringing him out of his thoughts. “It’s your turn.” Stepping up to serve his first bowl, Felix gripped the blue sphere in his grasp, before taking a shot and ultimately watching in despair as the ball directed slowly into the gutter. Chuckling lightly, Chan pushed himself off from leaning against the wall and came up behind Felix. “It’s more like this. You take a step forward...” Using his foot, he gently kicked Felix’s own feet apart, one in front of the other, while then placing his hands on his shoulders. “Relax, and let your arm swing.” Grabbing the back of Felix’s right hand, he pulled both their arms behind them before letting them fall forward again. “Do you feel the momentum?” Felix could feel the momentum of something and it was his heart beating out of his chest.

He took in a calming breath as Chan moved away so he could serve his second bowl. Felix tried to do exactly what Chan had demonstrated to him, closing his eyes as the heavy object made impact with the ground. He didn’t dare to open them until he heard the sound of the pins clattering. “Mate! It actually worked!” Felix yelled, throwing a fist into the air before turning around to double high-five Chan excitedly, who smiled proudly at the shorter boy. 

“Six out of ten. Not bad.” Chan’s eyes fluttered to Changbin and Jisung. “You guys are up.” Slowly, both of them made their way over, exchanging seats with Chan and Felix, who sat down to watch their friends in both caution and entertainment. Neither of them said anything or made a move, until Changbin told Jisung he was going next. He let out a sigh as Jisung quickly grabbed a bowling ball, almost letting it drop as if he forgot how heavy they were supposed to be. Changbin scoffed in amusement, Jisung glaring at him from the corner of his eye lightly, before attempting a bowl. Unfortunately, Jisung hadn’t gone bowling in a long time and wasn’t listening in on Chan’s lesson to Felix, so when he took a swing his arm went sideways instead of straight, causing the ball to fly into the wall, dried plaster puffing out of the small indent he had created. Chan and Felix burst into laughter, falling over themselves at the booth while Changbin and Jisung stared at each other, jaws dropped. Luckily for the two, there were no staff members walking around and no security cameras pointed their way, meaning they could possibly get away with it scot-free. 

Jisung cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’ll try again.” 

“How are you the captain of the basketball team? Aren’t you supposed to be good with balls?” Changbin shook his head in bewilderment. Jisung smirked, trying to ignore the unintentional innuendo. “What, what did I say?” Dismissing it, Jisung was about to go for another shot, when he straightened up and leaned into Changbin. 

“Did you bring any money with you?”

Changbin shrugged. “I brought some, but not a lot. I didn’t know this was going to happen.”

“Right? Chan kind of just sprung it on me and dragged me out of school before I could even understand what he was saying. I think he started speaking English _so_ I wouldn’t understand what he was saying.” Jisung snapped his gaze quickly to the two blondes watching them in puzzlement. “I didn’t bring any money with me, so unless you can pay for four people we need to win this.”

Changbin paused, before leaning in closer and whispering. “Then, maybe take your shot and don’t hit the wall this time.” Smiling sheepishly, Jisung closed his eyes with a deep breath, then let the ball slip from his fingers. “No way!” Jisung’s eyes crowbarred open in time to see all ten pins go down in a strike. Both Changbin and Jisung couldn’t contain their excitement, as the two embraced in a chaste hug of celebration, forgetting the fact they were supposed to be estranged acquaintances. Chan and Felix, who had been watching the whole ordeal the entire time, exchanged astounded looks, not expecting it to escalate that quickly. I guess the adrenaline of winning on the same team can bring almost any two people together, Chan thought. He smiled. 

“Hey...” He whispered to Felix. “I have an idea.” 

The sky was beginning to set, painting a beautiful canvas of pinks and yellows behind the boys, just as someone had brought the food to their table. Which was paid for by Chan and Felix. Again, Chan was adamant that he wanted to pay for the entire meal, but Felix was so fed up with his chivalry that he almost threw his money at the cashier and walked away. Of course he wasn’t mad, not really, but the look on Chan’s face when he thought he had upset Felix for that split second was honestly priceless. As soon as he saw the freckled boy’s usual cheery grin creep back onto his lips, Chan heaved a sigh of relief, and paid for the rest. 

“Thank you, guys. We’ll eat well!” Jisung and Changbin chorused, throwing up a quick high-five to each other at their synchrony, before tucking into their meals. It was beyond anyone, how or why the two had managed to switch suddenly. It was like something just clicked in their brains, like a fuse in the circuit had blown and they‘d reset to their factory settings: it was like they were thirteen all over again. Chan could cry from happiness, filled with amazement, joy and nostalgia. Felix couldn’t contain his own smile, at how happy Chan looked to see his best friends acting like best friends again. 

Changbin picked his head up suddenly, from tucking in, speaking through a mouthful of noodles. “You know, I still don’t understand how we beat the almighty Bang Chan at something.”

“I know, right? Maybe I’ve just gotten better at bowling...” Jisung pondered, holding his spoon against the bottom of his bowl, in thought. Both Felix and Jisung had ordered seaweed soup, as Changbin and Chan claimed they had to get it on their birthdays. “Or, Chan’s just gotten worse. That sounds more plausible...” He chuckled the last bit awkwardly, going back to slurping the broth. 

Felix raised a hand timidly. “It’s my fault, sorry. Beginner’s... _jinx_? What’s the opposite of luck?”

“Misfortune?” Changbin suggested. 

“Misfortune.” Felix snapped his fingers and pointed at Changbin in agreement. 

Chan shook his head in opposition. “No, no, it was all me. I played badly today, I guess I was just _distracted_.” He looked at Felix and winked, Jisung pausing his movements in bafflement. Changbin tapped his elbow to stop him from staring, and the two resumed eating, the blonde boys opposite them seemingly have forgotten their own dishes that were getting cold. Felix wanted to roll his eyes at Chan’s gesture, as he knew the truth to why they had lost and _Binsung_ \- another codename - had won but, albeit his words and actions were all part of the ruse, they affected Felix all the same. 

Changbin pulled on Chan’s blazer collar suddenly, while the four were walking along the pavement, once they had finished their food and decided to head home. An innocently puzzled expression fell on Chan’s face, as Changbin waited long enough for Jisung and Felix to be out of earshot before they continued walking. “What was that about?” Chan chuckled, finding his friend’s actions bizarre. 

“I’m not gonna beat around the bush. Do you like Yongbok?” 

Despite Chan feeling like his ears were steaming hot enough they could melt off the sides of his face, he answered with a definite: “Yes. I like Felix.”

Changbin didn’t miss a single beat, almost like he already predicted the responses Chan would give him to the questions he was asking. “And, have you confessed to him?”

“Confessed? No, I haven’t. I...” Trailing off, Chan bit down on his bottom lip while choosing his next words carefully. “I’m waiting for the right time.”

“Do you want to be with him?”

Although he was slightly taken aback by Changbin’s brazenness with the choice of questions thrown at him, Chan was determined not to back down, not when he could finally voice the thoughts that were circling his mind for the last few days. “Look, yes, I like Felix, and yes I would love to take him out on a date, and spend time with him where it’s just us two. But, you know, we’re still getting to know each other and I don’t know if... I don’t know if I can be in a relationship right now.” He hated how cliche the last sentence sounded, and Chan wanted to tell Changbin everything, he wanted to explain to him why he came back to Korea, what happened in Australia. He could trust him, he knew he could, but he also couldn’t bring himself to physically utter the words, fear forever conquering logic. Chan was fighting an internal battle, and he couldn’t put someone he could possibly learn to really _really_ care about in a position of casualty.

Changbin chuckled quietly, placing his hands into his pockets as he spied the two boys far in front of them playing a game by hopping from tile to tile on the pavement. “Yongbok doesn’t know it yet, not properly, but he likes you back. And if you asked him out, I bet he would say yes.”

If only it was that easy, Chan thought to himself tiredly. 

“However.” Changbin continued, his tone slightly more serious. “He’s very much someone who will give you his entire heart if you ask for it, so don’t take advantage of that. I know you won’t, but even just the vague flirting and innocent gestures, they’ll mean something to him. So, unless you genuinely want to pursue something, you should stop now.”

Chan smiled mirthlessly, but maintained a lighter tone than Changbin. “Do you think I’m just stringing him along?”

“Not intentionally.” Changbin sighed, Felix and Jisung finally noticing they were miles apart so they halted their steps in order for Changbin and Chan to catch up, only causing the two to slow down gradually. “You’re a good guy, Chan, and so is Yongbok. You both deserve to be with good people, but if you’re not ready to start something with him right now, then don’t give him false hope.” Eventually they caught up, and before Jisung could berate them for taking so long, Changbin smiled patting him on the shoulder with feeling. “Come on, we’re gonna miss the bus. You still live in my neighbourhood, right?” Jisung confirmed that he did, and Changbin faced Chan and Felix. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow. Get home safe, and have a good night.” 

Watching the two walk away, still mulling over how quickly they managed to reconcile, Chan breathed heavily and it made him feel lighter. Nodding to himself, he glanced at Felix to see he was looking at him. “Did you have a good birthday?”

Felix broke into a smile. “The best. Are you getting picked up?”

Pondering it for a moment, Chan shook his head. “Not right now. Let’s go.” He walked ahead, Felix quickly moving to fall in step with him. Felix didn’t live very far from where they were, which conveniently was close enough to the school, something that was lucky for him since he didn’t have to pay for the bus to travel as everything was within walking distance. The sun had completely set at this point, the only thing lighting their way being the headlights of cars passing by or the dim street lamps that needed their light bulbs changed. Summer was slowly morphing into autumn, the night air gently brushing against their cheeks as they walked in silence. It was a comfortable silence, neither boy feeling like they needed to say anything to fill the space. 

Chan couldn’t help but think of Changbin’s earlier words. Was he really stringing Felix along? He liked Felix, and now apparently Felix liked him too. But it wasn’t that simple. Nothing ever was. As much as he wanted to explore the potential of a romantic relationship with Felix, he couldn’t. At least not until he fixed whatever was wrong with him. “Um, I was gonna buy you a cake, but I thought who buys a baker a cake? It’s like buying a... person who makes tables a table.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. You’ve already done so much, and it’s not even my actual birthday.” Felix chuckled, smiling shyly. “I can’t believe how easily Changbin and Jisung got along. I mean, it’s not like they had any issues between them, but it’s seriously so weird to see them acting like best buds after not even saying hi to the other for an entire year.” 

“I guess some friendships never truly disappear. You know how, you can not speak to someone for years and then suddenly you meet up again and it’s like not a single day has passed.” Chan suggested. “That’s how I felt coming back. For the most part.” 

Felix agreed. “Those are the best friendships. I haven’t spoken to my friends back in Australia in a while, but now and then we’ll check up on each other and see how the other is doing. It’s nice to know we still think of each other after all this time. Are you still in contact with your friends from back in Sydney?” A shiver ran down Chan’s spine, almost causing him to stop walking. He could feel his heart start to beat faster, so he closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing down before it became audible. “Chan?” At the touch of Felix’s fingertips on his elbow, Chan’s eyes shot open. 

“Sorry. I think I have indigestion or something. Yes, I still contact my friends in Australia.” Chan lied, his voice quiet. And that... that was the nail on the coffin, confirming to Chan completely that he couldn’t even entertain the idea of something happening between him and Felix, not when he had to keep his biggest secret from him. And, when Chan made up his mind about something, seldom had the ability to change it. They stopped outside of the _Happiness Bakery_ , Chan offering Felix a friendly smile. “Here’s your stop. I would wish you happy birthday now, but it’s bad luck to say it before someone’s birthday, so I’ll save that for tomorrow.”

Suddenly, Felix launched forward, wrapping his arms around Chan in a tight hug. Chan was taken aback, his mouth falling into a circular shape but, slowly, he hugged him back. Felix was right, he was the _perfect_ height for Chan to rest his chin on the top of his head. Pulling back, Felix grinned widely, eyes shining up at Chan like they held all the stars in the universe. “I had fun today. A lot of fun. I hope one day all of us can have fun like this together. All eight of us.” 

Nodding, Chan smiled the dimpled smile that always caused the fluttering in Felix’s stomach to go off. “Me too. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, sleep well.” He pat Felix’s hair gently, before moving away to call Mr Soo so he could pick him up, when he remembered. “Oh, by the way, there’s something waiting for you inside.” Felix yelled after him, asking what he was talking about, but Chan was already skipping off down the street. Narrowing his eyebrows in thought, Felix headed into the empty bakery which was already closed for the day. Locating the light switch, his eyes adjusted to the fluorescent brightness, immediately spotting the box on the counter, covered up in black wrapping paper. Felix was stuck between swooning at how quickly Chan managed to set it up, assuming he had the help of Mr Soo, and calling Chan to reprimand his ear off for buying him something when he didn’t need to. 

“Felix Lee, you absolute simp.” Felix muttered to himself, approaching the package. Picking it up, he noted it was slightly heavy but not too much for him to not be able to hold it up. He set it down, and tore into the paper, quickly realising what it was from the first rip. He let out a loud humoured scoff, not knowing how to react: whether he should burst out crying at how cute Chan was, or facepalm at how ridiculous Chan was, gazing down at the brand-new electric mixer in his hands. 

The next day, Chan was sitting in his classroom, headphones over his ears as he listened to some music before the class would start. He had _the_ nightmare again, the first one since being back in Korea. Maybe it was prophetic, maybe it was trying to warn him of something that didn’t click before it was too late. Music seemed to be the only thing that could keep him grounded, as it held his mind busy. Humming along, his eyes wandered around the bustling room, when Minho entered. Chan waved to him enthusiastically as he made his way over, not without offering Seungmin a subtle nod as he did. Chan had to hold back a smile, as even that small interaction had him hovering in his seat. Jisung was sitting in the far back with his head planted on his desk, completely knocked out. It turned out that Jisung was also in their class, but Chan hadn’t noticed him on the first day, for he was asleep, something he frequently did during his lesson periods. 

“Alright class! Settle down!” Their teacher entered the classroom, everyone slowly quieting like the turning of a volume dial. “Today, we are going to be discussing court cases, and what influences a jury to make decisions. To start off, let’s create a mock trial.” A few cheers dotted around the room, the students excited to do something other than writing notes for once. “Okay, Sorim will play the judge. Hangyul, I want you to play the prosecutor. And, uh... Chan, you can play the murderer.”

“What?” Chan blinked rapidly, feeling his breath become dense upon hearing _that_ word, as the other two got up to take their positions at the front of the class. 

The teacher gave him a look. “Come on Bang Chan, we don’t have all day. You’re the murderer.”

“I-I’m not a m-murderer...” He stuttered out, feeling his legs begin to shake. Squeezing his eyes shut, Chan tried to shut out the thoughts jabbing at his brain, the noises around him distorting. A mixture of ‘ _what’s wrong with him?_ ’, ‘ _is he okay?_ ’ and ‘ _what the hell?_ ’ flitted around the room, not making Chan feel any better, as if history was repeating itself. 

“Chan, stop messing around, I’m not going to ask you again. Come to the front and play the murderer-“

“I’m not a murderer!” Chan screamed, jumping out of his seat. Silence, deafening silence surrounded the souls, save for the sound of Chan’s own breathing amplified by the throbbing in his head, every single eye on the blonde boy who looked like he was going to be sick. His feet moved before his mind could properly comprehend what had happened, as Chan made a break for the door. As quickly as he disappeared, Minho, Seungmin and Jisung (who woke up at the commotion) ran out after him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: major themes of anxiety

It was no secret that Chan loved movies. Everyone who knew him knew about his obsession with the fictional world, how each film allowed him to dive into story after story, a form of escapism when things got too much. He would often spend nights watching movies until sunrise, as sleeping eight hours a day seemed more far-fetched to him than the trope-ridden films he would unapologetically pour himself over. Chan loved cheesiness, both when it came to his food (which wasn’t much of a surprise since Chan loved _almost_ all foods) and his movies or TV shows. His philosophy was: the cheesier the better. He hadn’t touched his box of VHS tapes, that only grew since moving to Australia, opting to scour various streaming sites for any and all films he could feast his eyes on. Chan still had an intense love and soft spot for his collection of 80’s movies, but as he got older and life got more complicated, he couldn’t bring himself to watch them. He wanted to preserve the happy, carefree association he had attached to the reels of film within plastic casing, almost like he had a part of his childhood that he could still protect. That was until he moved back to Korea and realised there was something else from his childhood he could protect. The Lost Boys. But, I digress. Chan loved movies, the cheesier the better. He loved to shy behind his palms when something embarrassing happened, or clap wildly as if he was an extra in the crowd, when the main character made their final speech of the movie, or gasp audibly when someone was exposed for something and ran out of a packed room... as much as he saw himself as the main character of his own movie, the latter trope wasn’t one which he expected to live out himself. 

Italian leather-clad shoes thumped against the floor in time with Chan’s rapid heartbeat roaring in his eardrums, masking the sound of three other pairs of shoes chasing after him. Chan had an impressive stamina, but due to his increased breathing and dizziness, he began to feel nauseous enough that he needed to halt his movements. Clutching onto the brick wall beside him, he was grateful he managed to make it outside, near the back of the school, even if he was still on school premises. Chan slumped down the wall, his vision blurring while his head continued to throb erratically, as he tried to centre himself by getting as close to the ground as he could. This hadn’t happened to him for a long time, it was the first since arriving in Seoul. Chan felt like he was going to die. 

Eventually, Minho, Seungmin and Jisung had located Chan, whose legs were sprawled out on the ground and back pressed to the wall. Much to Chan’s relief, he could feel his breathing calm down slightly, and his vision clear by the time they approached him. Jisung wanted to get closer to see what was wrong but Seungmin extended his arm across Jisung’s chest to hold him back, shocking both boys as that was the first time they had interacted in four years. Brushing it off immediately for they had bigger things to worry about, Seungmin muttered under his breath so only Jisung and Minho could hear him. “The last thing Chan needs right now is us crowding around him. Wait a second.”

Slowly but surely, Chan’s respiratory system regained its usual rhythm and the pounding pain in his skull subsided. Eyes shutting, he let his head fall back against the brick behind him, taking in a massive, satisfying breath. His eyes pried open, landing immediately on the boys standing off to the side, watching him in apprehension. “Shouldn’t you guys be in class?” He joked, weakly attempting to lighten the atmosphere. 

None of them knew who should speak first, or what to even say, somehow the words ‘ _are you okay?_ ’ seeming redundant. Chan started to pick himself up off the floor, causing Minho to immediately rush forward and help him, despite Chan laughingly telling him he was fine. Patting his blazer down, Chan stood nervously in front of the three who were still watching him silently, not even knowing where to begin. How was he supposed to explain _this_? He couldn’t tell them the truth, not yet, he wasn’t ready. It burned Chan inside, that he had to flat-out lie to his friends, but he truly felt like he had no other choice. “I watched a horror movie last night, about... about...” He couldn’t even say the word anymore.

“About a murderer?” Seungmin asked, causing the atmosphere to shift sideways, solidifying to everyone that they heard right earlier. 

Chan nodded, his head dipped down slightly in shame. “Then I had a nightmare that I was _in_ the movie as...” Taking a beat, Chan tried as hard as he could to control his breathing. “And, yeah, I must have been more affected than I thought... but, it’s no big deal.”

Suddenly, Jisung started cooing, probably to change the mood. “Aw, is our Channie scared by scary movies now? What happened, you used to love them?”

Scratching a hand through his hair, Chan let out a choked laugh as his breath was stuck in his throat. “Y-yeah, I guess. I don’t know, they’re just... more realistic these days. But, it’s okay. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Honestly.” 

“We should head back to class, then, as long as you’re sure you’re fine?” Seungmin suggested. Hesitating slightly, Chan glanced at the doorway, already feeling his head start to spin at the prospect of going back into the room where he knew everyone would be staring at him upon his arrival. Seungmin licked his lips in thought, before sighing reluctantly. “Or we could skip the rest of class, and return for next period. We can just say we took you to the nurse’s office, that you needed to throw up, or something.”

They all stared at Seungmin incredulously. “ _The_ Kim Seungmin wants to skip class? Have you even done that before?” Jisung asked, his mouth dropped, flabbergasted.

“Well, I don’t think Chan is in the best condition to go back, and if any of us go back people will just ask questions and I don’t need that kind of attention. Do you?” Minho simply shrugged in response, and Jisung muttered something about not missing the opportunity to cut class. Chan was about to protest, as he didn’t want to cause a disruption - well, more of a disruption - but at this point he knew that there was no way he would be able to go back in without feeling like he would collapse. 

“So...” Jisung drawled, swinging his arms in front of him into a clap awkwardly. “What do we do now? I mean, we can’t stay on school grounds without getting caught.”

Minho started to walk away, towards the bushes lining one of the school fences. Pausing, he swivelled around on his heels, looking back at the confused boys still standing in the spots he left them in. “Why aren’t you following me?” This caused them to jump into action, jogging over to catch up while Minho swiftly carried on until they reached the shrubs of greenery. Stopping shortly in front of one of the bushels of evergreen, he pocketed his hands and faced the others again. “What I’m about to show you, you can’t tell anyone about or I might end your lives. Maybe I’ll just severely injure you, I don’t know, I’ll see how I feel.” Watching in apprehension, and fear for their safety in many regards, they witnessed Minho push the leaves apart, the bush much softer than they assumed it to be. This opened up a view of the silver gate that lined the entire school, except there was a large gaping hole cut into the metal. 

“Minho, did you cut a hole in the school fence?!” Chan asked, too wrapped up in the bizarreness of the situation to properly grasp what was happening. Minho simply stared at Chan, before gesturing for him to go through. “You want me to what?” Again, Minho just stared at him, waiting. Chan sighed, biting his lip hesitantly as he made movements towards the hole. The hole was fairly big enough, big enough for a human to pass through, meaning an animal could enter easily. They’d never had an issue with animals at the school before, though, maybe even they understood that _school_ was just a euphemism for _prison_ and stayed well away. The edges that were cut into seemed to be filed down so they wouldn’t catch on any loose threads of clothing, meaning it was definitely a hole made deliberately. Chan pushed himself through, head crowning on the other side to note that it led him into the alleyway behind the school. He stood up, brushing his hands and knees off, as Seungmin joined him, followed by Jisung who looked like he might have been shoved slightly by Minho as he stumbled rather than crawled and then finally Minho. 

As soon as Minho jumped up, he walked down the alleyway, in turn making Chan, Jisung and Seungmin attempt to keep up. At first, they didn’t have a clue where they were going until it started to slowly become clear to them, once they reached the very familiar patch of brown, dry ground that diverged into a path through trees. Chan couldn’t believe what was happening, his brain was convincing himself that he was imagining things through a false hope, that he was dreaming and would wake up in bed from yet another nightmare. However, once they were led into the clearing and instantly hit with the pang of nostalgia, Chan couldn’t believe he didn’t think of going there as soon as he touched Korean soil again. 

When they were twelve, The Lost Boys wandered into the nearby woods-like area which led away from the local park. It was separate from the park, but it stretched on for a bit, before ultimately ending abruptly at the highway. They discovered a tree, a weirdly shaped tree with a branch so thick and low hanging that it allowed for you to sit on it without worry of it breaking, and if it did, you would fall a mere few feet, nothing deadly. There was a slightly higher branch which was bent in a way that invited you to rest against it, it was like the tree wanted them to turn it into a treehouse. And they did. Kind of. They found a few chairs at the local tipping site, and placed them haphazardly around the trunk, and wrapped a red blanket around one of the branches so they would always be able to find it, but other than that, they hadn’t done much else. They still called it their treehouse, though. And there it was, just as Chan had left it. The chairs were worn out to the point they looked like they would crack if you even hovered over them, and the red blanket was matted and dirty, but to Chan it looked like nothing had changed. 

Jisung was the first one to speak. “What- why did you bring us here? I haven’t been back here in forever...”

Minho pressed his mouth into a thin line, before expelling a breath. “I still come here sometimes. I was the only one who didn’t stop.”

“What do you mean, didn’t stop?” Chan enquired, and Jisung looked down guiltily. 

“After what happened between Jisung and Hyunjin, the rest of us still tried to hang out here but, it didn’t feel the same anymore. So... one by one we stopped coming.” Seungmin explained, eyes washing over the tree with unclear emotion. Seungmin himself wasn’t sure how he felt about being back. “But, _you_ never stopped?” 

Minho shook his head, moving closer to the tree and reaching an arm up to hold onto the branch before swinging himself up into a seating position. “It’s much less scarier than it used to be. Come up.” Chan glanced briefly at the other two, as a grin cracked onto his face and he rushed forward to climb up onto the higher branch. He couldn’t help but feel a burst of adrenaline rush through him, filled with elation and wistfulness. It was like Minho had unlocked a door in his mind, the memories of them hanging out there almost every day after school flooding his brain to the point he was overwhelmed and wanted to cry. Looking to Minho, taking note of the way his eyes glimmered with the ghost of a smile on his face, Chan realised that he felt the same way. All this time, of him hiding away from others and keeping to himself, returning to the tree day after day. Maybe it was _his_ way of preserving his memories of The Lost Boys, scared that new memories and experiences would override the old. Minho missed The Lost Boys just as much as Chan did, he was just afraid to show it because when you lose something once, you convince yourself you’ll never find it again. Seungmin and Jisung stayed firmly on the ground, but they did get closer to the tree, still staring at it like it was a distant dream realised, and if they blinked it would disappear. “I like to come here to draw, it’s nice and quiet. No one ever comes through here so I can just sit here for hours, by myself.”

“So, you _did_ cut the hole in the school gate?” Chan asked, for clarity. Minho took a beat. 

“No, Hyunjin did.” He continued, despite the confused and bewildered expressions he was presented. “I saw him sneak out the back after school one day, and I was curious so I followed him. He saw me and asked me not to tell anyone, and I had no one to tell so I didn’t. Until now.” Minho let out a large breath while glancing up at the leaves, a visual representation of the secret of the hole leaving his body. “Apparently, it’s the only spot in school that’s not visible from a window, so no one can catch you unless, you know, they follow you. Like I did.”

Hyunjin cut a hole into the school gate? Chan really couldn’t comprehend how Hyunjin could change so much in a matter of a few years, the Hyunjin he knew would never have done such a thing, he would have been too scared to. 

Suddenly, Jisung gasped. “Do you guys remember the time we bet Seungmin couldn’t hang from the tree for more than ten seconds and then he lasted five seconds and broke his glasses when he fell?”

“Why is that the first thing you bring up?” Seungmin muttered, fiddling with the current pair of specs he had rested on his face as the others chuckled in remembrance.

“No, no, do you remember when Jisung saw that squirrel and he thought it would be a good idea to chase it-“

“-and it ended up chasing him instead!” Minho finished off Chan’s sentence, clapping his hands together in amusement as Jisung scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “You ran up the tree so fast, forgetting that’s what squirrels do.”

Seungmin drawled in remembrance. “Right, right, that’s why we started calling you Squirrel Boy, I remember now.”

“I still have the bite-mark scars.” Jisung admitted sheepishly, resulting in more bouts of laughter. 

After a while, the four decided to return to school as next period would start soon. Chan sidled up to Jisung. “Hey, um, can you do me a favour and not tell Felix about... what happened earlier? In class?” Jisung was slightly puzzled by the request, considering people might have been talking about it while they were on their little escapade, but he agreed nonetheless, to keep his mouth shut. 

Soon enough, lunch had approached, bringing us a scene of Chan and Changbin sitting opposite one another in the cafeteria. As usual, Minho and Seungmin were never to be found in the large dining room, and Jisung was at an impromptu lunchtime basketball practice for the big basketball match coming up, something his stomach in particular was not grateful for. Chan couldn’t tell if people were actually whispering about him or if he was merely imagining it. He chose to believe the latter, as an attempt to prevent anymore breakdowns from occurring. 

A hand slammed gently between Chan and Changbin’s trays, on the table. “Hey Channie, where’s Yongbok?” 

Lifting his head, Chan acknowledged Hyunjin. “He’s not in school today.”

“Is he sick?” Hyunjin didn’t sound particularly worried, more like he was asking out of politeness. Chan shook his head to confirm he was fine, and Hyunjin sighed. “Okay, well, you tell him that he lost our recent bet and that he owes me.”

Ah, right. The bets. Chan knew that Felix and Hyunjin constantly had bets going on, something he discovered back when he was looking into the freckled boy’s connections to The Lost Boys, but that was back when he barely even knew his full name. Now, Chan couldn’t help but want to know the ins and outs of the life of the guy he had feelings for. “Bet? You guys had a bet going on? What kind of bet? Why are you guys betting on stuff?”

Hyunjin chuckled mirthlessly. “That’s on a need to know basis. And you _don’t_ need to know. Just tell him he lost, and that he owes me.”

“If he owes you money, I’ll pay you.” Chan blurted out, causing Changbin to freeze from taking a spoonful of rice. Hyunjin tilted his head at Chan before erupting into a giggle. He cleared his throat, straightening up. 

“Wow Channie, that’s super cute and all, for you to have your boyfriend’s back like that, but like I said: this is between me and Yongbok. Make sure you tell him.”

“Don’t you have his phone number?” Chan scoffed softly. 

Hyunjin pocketed his hands. “Don’t _you_?” Upon seeing Chan nod, he smiled thinly. “Then you’ll have no issue calling him about it. Thanks!” As he started to walk away, Chan called him back quickly and offered if he wanted to eat lunch with them. Hyunjin and Changbin glanced at each other momentarily, before Hyunjin tore his gaze back to Chan. “Nah, I’m good. I’m already sitting with my friends.” 

Right. His friends.

Chan was brought out of his thoughts when the sound of someone shouting came from the other side of the cafeteria. It was from Jeongin’s usual table. Hyunjin spun around immediately, alarm evident on his face to see that a couple of the people surrounding him were diving under the table to retrieve something silver and glittering in the light. One of the girls picked it up to reveal it was a chopstick, while one of the guys ran over to the food area, presumably to get him some new chopsticks. Eyes falling onto Jeongin, he had his head buried in his hands like he was in shame, or he didn’t want to see the countless gazes upon him. Once he was sure that Jeongin was fine, Hyunjin’s demeanour relaxed. Looking back to note Chan’s eyebrow that was quirked questioningly, Hyunjin dipped his head down and walked away. 

“Why did they have to hold an impromptu basketball practice today of all days?” Felix’s deep voice crackled through Chan’s phone. “They could have had one any day this week apart from today, but no. The universe is against me.”

Chan chuckled, leaning against a wall near the lockers with a goofy smile on his face, as he listened to Felix rant. “It’s okay, Jisung covered for you. How is everything?”

“It’s been fine, we just got back from church and everyone is being a bit quiet right now. Understandable, considering...” Felix had taken the day off school to observe the anniversary of his grandmother’s death. “Hey, did I even thank you for your present yesterday? Because, I’m not even just saying this, it’s the best present in the entire existence of the world.” 

Chan rolled his eyes playfully as he giggled. “Only about a million times. I’m glad you like it, though. Oh, that reminds me- well, it doesn’t remind me but I just remembered. Hyunjin told me to tell you something about a bet...”

“Oh. Who lost?” Felix sighed, once he heard the answer. “Fair enough. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.” Chan wanted to ask him more about the bets, and what they bet on, but he thought back to what Hyunjin said and decided against it, not wanting to come off as prying. After all, he had an even bigger skeleton in the closet, which he wouldn’t want anyone to find out about. Chan could hear mumbling on Felix’s end of the line, before it went completely silent. Had he put the call on mute? Barely a second later, Felix’s voice sounded again. “Hey, I’ll talk to you later. I have to go.” They cut the call - not before Chan wished Felix one last happy birthday - and Chan stared at his phone for a moment. I guess Felix has his own secrets too, he thought to himself. 

Pocketing his phone on the inside of the black blazer he was wearing, Felix stepped back into the hospital room he had left to take Chan’s call. As he had been for the past few weeks, Felix’s grandfather was still laying in bed, also wearing a suit despite that he had not been able to go with his family to observe his wife’s death. His tired eyes fell onto Felix and a small smile etched its way onto his face, beckoning the blonde boy to come over to him. “Yongbokkie, I wanted to give you something for your birthday.”

“Oh, no, Grandpa it’s okay. You don’t need to give me anything-“ He was silenced by the wave of a hand, as he was handed a small mahogany wooden box. Curiously, Felix opened the top with a creak from the hinge before a soft, familiar melody played. It was a music box. 

His grandfather smiled fondly to himself. “This was your grandmother’s. Whenever you would come visit and you couldn’t sleep at night, she would leave this open in your room and you would fall asleep instantly. I wanted to give this to you for a while but I thought I would save it for a special occasion.”

“I-I remember it. The tune.” Felix breathed, not willing himself to take his eyes off the box as he felt something warm and damp roll down his cheek. “Thank you, Grandpa.” Leaning over, he gently hugged him, causing a deep chuckle to shake through his grandfather’s chest. 

“Careful!” Mrs Lee chided, her head snapping at them from staring out the window. 

“What, am I not even allowed to laugh anymore? You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine.” Felix’s grandfather teased, winking at Felix who smiled widely at him. 

Just then, Mr Lee had returned, looking more worn out than he had when he initially left the room. They all turned to him in anticipation, and all it took was the shake of his head for everyone to realise what he was going to say: his position had not changed. Felix felt a hand grip his palm tightly. It was his grandfather’s. 

“Jeongin! Long time no see, buddy!” Plastering on a clownish grin, Chan leaned against Felix’s locker to greet his friend.

“Hi Chan, yeah, I’ve just been hanging around.” Jeongin nodded, slotting a folder into his locker with slight difficulty. 

Chan brought a hand up to help him slide it in with ease and Jeongin thanked him quietly. “No problem. If you’ve just been hanging around, why don’t you hang out with me after school today?”

Jeongin’s eyes lit up excitedly, before his mouth quirked to the side. “I wish, but I usually get dragged to the boba-tea place after school by everyone.” Chan peeked over Jeongin’s shoulder, spying the regular crowd that followed Jeongin like a second shadow. He waved at them, and some of them waved back, whilst others whispered to each other. He shook it off. 

“Do they follow you to class as well?” Chan asked genuinely. Jeongin informed him that they weren’t that invasive (as if any level of invasive was acceptable). Chan smirked faintly. “I think I know a way for you to escape the crowd without saying a single word to them.”

Jeongin shut his locker, accidentally startling the blonde beside him as he spun to face Chan. “I’m listening.”

After school, Chan strolled out of the front of the school to see Jeongin standing there, waiting while the swarm maintained him in their circle. “Yang Jeongin, there you are! Ready to go- oh wait, I’m such an idiot.” Chan slapped a hand to his forehead, a habit he picked up from spending too much time with Felix. “I forgot my English textbook in my locker. I’m just gonna go retrieve it quickly- Hey! Here’s an idea, why don’t you come with me? It will only take a second.” Jeongin was yanked out of the mob and pulled to Chan’s side, his eyes widening in surprise while Chan’s words were still sinking into his brain. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring him right back, it’s not like there’s another exit in the school for him to run away...” Chan called as he dragged Jeongin back through the school gates, despite the protests which died down with distance. 

“Where are we going?” Jeongin asked, for all he could do was try to catch up with Chan who was almost running to his desired destination. Before he knew it, Jeongin was in front of the same bush Chan had been earlier in the day. “Chan, why are we- Oh!” Jeongin yelped, as Chan pushed the bush aside while also pushing Jeongin out of the hole in the gate. Jeongin couldn’t tell if it was because Chan was worried the others would follow them, or if he was trying to end his life. However, Jeongin wasn’t granted the opportunity to contemplate this as he fell face first into someone, causing them to topple over with him. Chan emerged through the gap, to see Jeongin was sprawled out in the middle of the alleyway, with someone’s bottom cushioning his head from hitting the hard ground. Jeongin picked himself up immediately, blurting out. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. Are you okay?” 

The dark haired boy turned over to reveal his face was dirtied with the ground and an irritated expression, as he brushed his cheeks with the back of his hand. Spotting Chan immediately, Hyunjin glared. “Yeah, I’m just great. Help me up.” Grabbing Hyunjin’s hand, Jeongin hauled him up, surprising both Hyunjin and Chan at how strong he had gotten over the years. Hyunjin looked away, brushing his blazer off before finally realising what happened. “Wait, you came through- how did you- what the hell? How do you know about my hole?” Chan hesitated and Hyunjin gasped. “Did Minho tell you about my hole?!” He took his silence as confirmation and Hyunjin scoffed incredulously. “I can’t believe this!” 

“Why do you have a hole in the school gate anyway?” Chan enquired, folding his arms to try and seem more serious so he would finally get an answer to something. 

Hyunjin groaned. “Because I needed a way to sneak out of school without getting caught. Obviously.”

“So, why are you using it now when school has ended for the day?” Jeongin interjected, making Hyunjin snap his head to him. 

“Oh, um, just because I can.” Hyunjin shrugged. “Anyway, who else knows about my hole?” Chan gave up, knowing Hyunjin wouldn’t relent as he admitted that Jisung and Seungmin knew as well. “Are you kidding me? All of you know about _my_ hole, this is just fantastic! Where is that Lee Minho?! I’ve got something to say to him about breaking promises.”

“I know where you can find him.”

The first thing Hyunjin and Jeongin did when Chan took them to the infamous tree was gawk like they were reunited with someone they hadn’t seen in ten years and didn’t know if they should run up and hug them or turn and run the other way. Chan smiled proudly to himself, not believing that his far-fetched plan actually worked. He noticed Hyunjin making a direct beeline towards the hole, so he worked quickly to grab Jeongin and throw him through it before Hyunjin could even stand up. All he wanted was to get Hyunjin and Jeongin to spend some time together, as they were the only two who hadn’t been involved in _Operation: Found Boys_ yet, and judging by the way Hyunjin still looked at Jeongin with care, he thought it was now or never. Now, he was getting three for the price of two, as he watched in amusement and apprehension the second Hyunjin caught sight of Minho perched in the tree, a pencil dangling from his fingers as he stared back at them. “Lee Minho! I have something to say to you!” Hyunjin marched closer, Jeongin and Chan hurrying after him. He stood with his arms on his hips, a threatening glare burning through his eyes. “You told them about my hole! We had a deal! You could use the hole as long as you didn’t tell anyone. The more people who know, the more likely I am to get caught. You’re gonna pay for this.”

Slowly, Minho closed his sketchbook and sat up, his gaze unwavering from Hyunjin. Leaning closer, his pupils still laser focused on Hyunjin’s, Minho whispered. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?”

Faltering, Hyunjin’s face fell remembering exactly who he was talking to. Maybe it was the fall that messed with his circuits, or maybe he just hadn’t spoken to him in so long he forgot that one does not simply threaten Lee Minho, unless you’re desperate for an untimely demise. Bursting into a forced laughter, Hyunjin dropped his arms. “Hahaha, you know what? Upon further thinking, I’ve decided that it’s totally okay that you told them about the hole. You know, it’s your hole just as much as it is mine. What’s the saying, _mi hole es su hole_ or something... anyway, carry on. As you were.” Hyunjin spun on his heels only to be met with Chan standing right in front of him. “What do you want now?”

Chan breathed out laughingly. “You’re gonna stay and the four of us will hang out for a bit.”

“Chan, for the last time- well, let’s be honest, it’s not going to be the last, is it? Either way, I told you-“

“Will it kill you to just sit in a tree for a few minutes?!” Chan exasperated, finally growing tired of Hyunjin’s resistance. “Why are you so against the idea of us hanging out? Do you hate us that much?”

“I don’t... I don’t hate _you guys_.” Hyunjin muttered. 

Chan poked his cheek with his tongue as he watched Hyunjin for a moment. “Then, please, just... don’t run away.” 

“What are you drawing?” Jeongin asked, peering at Minho’s sketchbook, regardless of it being closed. Opening it up, Minho presented the last page he etched onto, to reveal a large, intricate butterfly. “Oh, that’s cool!”

“We’re looking at the concept of _change_ in Art class, and how to express that physically, so I went with a butterfly. You know, how they start off as caterpillars and then turn into butterflies.” Minho explained, fiddling with the pencil in his hand awkwardly. 

Jeongin nodded, his mouth open slightly in awe. “That sounds fun. It’s really pretty, too.”

“Thanks!” Minho beamed, always grateful when someone complimented his art. He glanced at Hyunjin who was looking at him. “Do you wanna see?” Slowly and hesitantly, Hyunjin unclenched his jaw and came closer to the other, finally taking in the detailed page with marvelled eyes. 

“It’s beautiful.” Hyunjin nodded, eyes still scanning each and every pencil mark. “I didn’t know you could draw like this.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not something I really talk about.” Minho shrugged, swinging his legs as they dangled in the air. 

“You should! It’s really good, and I think more people should see it.” Jeongin encouraged, grinning at Minho. Hyunjin couldn’t help but grin as well, Jeongin always did have an infectious smile, even when he had braces. Chan stepped back, watching the three fall into a pleasant conversation. Hyunjin still had that same fondness in his eye whenever he looked at Jeongin, almost like they were twelve again, and Hyunjin had claimed himself in charge of the _Jeongin Protection Squad_ after he was getting picked on by some kid in the year above; he always did have a special soft spot for him. It was made glaringly obvious that, the second you put any of them in the same room - or rather, tree - together, it would take almost no time at all for them to fall back into their old sync, as if the last couple years didn’t happen. And that’s how you know you found a friendship to last a lifetime.

Felix was walking into school when he stopped in his tracks. Squinting, he saw two people who oddly looked like Minho and Jeongin talking in the distance before they both headed into the school building. He blinked a couple times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, before his eyes caught onto Jisung waving wildly at Seungmin who was about to pass him, before he halted to start a conversation with him too. What in the world is going on? Felix tilted his head, trying to make sense of it all when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders. “Good morning, sunshine! You’re blocking the way.”

Instantly bursting into a grin, Felix turned to see it was indeed Chan, who dropped one of his arms while keeping the other firmly around Felix’s shoulders before guiding him along the path. “Hey. Sorry, I was just... I feel like I’m losing my eyesight. Or my sanity. Maybe both. Did I just see Jisung and Seungmin talking to each other? And, Minho and Jeongin...”

“Oh, right...” Chan drawled, snapping his fingers in remembrance. “I may have some things to update you on about The Lost Boys situation. Spoiler: I even managed to get Hyunjin to talk to us for a bit.”

Felix stared at Chan in shock, feigning a sad pout. “Wow, that’s impressive. I guess you don’t need me after all.”

“What? Of course I need you, I’ll always need you.” Chan let out, before he properly processed what he said. Felix looked away, feeling his cheeks get way too warm for that early in the morning. Chan cleared his throat. “Anyway, it seems that this whole _Operation: Found Boys_ thing is almost complete. And I seriously wouldn’t have been able to do it without you. I mean that, Lix.” 

Felix smiled warmly, glancing up at Chan. “Well, I’m glad I could be of help.” After a moment of sharing a gaze, the two continued into the school building, passing someone on the way in. They cut their eyes analytically at the two blonde boys, specifically on the one who had caused a commotion in their classroom the morning before. 

“Hey, what do you know about Bang Chan?” They asked their friend, who was scrolling aimlessly on their phone. 

“Hm? Bang Chan? Isn’t he the one who transferred from Australia? What about him?”

Biting their lip in thought, they tore their gaze away from the duo, as they were about to turn a corner out of sight. “He said something strange in class yesterday, then he ran out and didn’t return. I’m curious, what do we actually know about him?”

“Well, we could always search him up on the internet. There’s stuff about everyone on the internet.”

They smiled, almost sinisterly. “That’s a good idea.” Pulling out their phone, they loaded up any and all social media pages. “Who are you really, Bang Chan? Time to find out.”


	6. Chapter 6

Seungmin was never fond of his birthday. He wasn’t sure why exactly, but the idea of changing one digit when filling in a form didn’t bring him as much enjoyment as he felt like it should have. However, when he was younger, the one thing he did enjoy was that every year, for his birthday, he would sing karaoke. See, Seungmin loved to sing, he always had. It was something he was effortlessly good at, one thing he didn’t need to think about, or calculate, or measure. He would just sing, and it would sound glorious to all who were blessed enough to hear it. That was the only thing he would ask for his birthday. To sing karaoke. Once he found The Lost Boys, he no longer needed to beg his parents to take him, as they were all up for an hour-long singing session. Seungmin would swear it was always the best hour out of the entire year. Unfortunately, after The Lost Boys stopped being friends, Seungmin started to distance himself from singing, and karaoke, as he soon learnt that nothing compared to the feeling of being in a room full of your best friends screaming unceremoniously in your ears while you laughed so hard you were gasping for breath. He traded in the microphone for a microscope, focusing all of his energy and attention on hopefully getting into medical school one day. He hadn’t been back at the karaoke place for almost four years. 

That brings us to where we are now: Seungmin sitting in a booth at the karaoke place, watching Changbin and Jisung attempting to rap the fast verse in _Rap God by Eminem_ despite neither of them knowing a word of English.

It all started off innocently, Felix and Minho were over at Seungmin’s house to get through some homework due that week when there was a knock on the door. Seungmin answered it to reveal a grinning Chan who admitted to Seungmin that he came over to drag him somewhere for his birthday. Seungmin was about to politely decline, when he was almost pushed out the front door by Minho and Felix, both of them having been in on the plan, using homework as a ploy to lower his guard down. Tumbling into the back of Mr Soo’s car, the four were taken to the karaoke place where Changbin and Jisung were waiting. Changbin wasn’t sure about coming at first, as he hadn’t spoken to Seungmin at all, but after a dose of double-aegyo from both Jisung and Felix he was too weak to resist. 

“Alright, enough of that.” Minho berated. “Why don’t we let the birthday boy have a go?” 

Seungmin looked at Minho with wide eyes, before looking at the others. He hadn’t sung in years, he didn’t even know if he still could. Brushing his palms on his trousers, he stood up and walked closer to the front. He didn’t even know what he would sing, he scarcely listened to music anymore as all it did was distract him from studying. Taking the microphone from Jisung, he skimmed through the list of songs when one specifically caught his eye. Seungmin smiled. 

_Old Song by Kim Dongryul_ began to play, the boys sitting behind him yelling cheers of encouragement while Seungmin cleared his throat nervously. Inhaling a deep breath, Seungmin allowed himself to sing the first lyric, immediately getting swept up into the emotion of the song. Like it’s name, it was quite an old song, but Seungmin loved it. It reminded him of long car rides with his dad when they would go to the beach to take pictures. He longed for those days, but he knew that all they were now were childhood memories. Seungmin didn’t even care that some notes were flat or off-pitch, due to being severely out of practice. He missed the feeling of singing, the boost in adrenaline, electrifying him all the way down to his toes, feeling like he was levitating in his own shoes. The way he could feel the melodious words travel from his chest, through his throat, and into the air for the world to hear. He felt alive. 

As the song came to an end, the room filled with applause and whoops and hollers. Seungmin realised he had his eyes closed the whole time. Fluttering them open, he glanced at everyone sheepishly, quickly passing the microphone to the first person who could, which was Chan, before taking his seat again. 

“Okay, now you have to!” Jisung pleaded to Chan. “That’s like catching the bouquet at a wedding. Except you’re not the next to get married, you’re the next to get up and sing.”

“Chan can sing? Wow, he literally can do _everything_...” Felix muttered under his breath, playfully, but there was a slight edge to his voice, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Chan. He caught on that Felix was behaving slightly off with him over the last week, as much as Felix tried not to do as much. It was so subtle at first, like Felix was trying to ignore it himself, but as the days went on it started to become more obvious to the point Chan couldn’t help but become aware. There was clearly something bothering Felix, and Chan decided to give him the opportunity to bring it up himself, if he wanted to. He hadn’t thus far.  
Eventually, Chan relented and let Jisung and Changbin drag him up to the front, as long as they promised to do the song with him. 

“You did great.” Seungmin snapped his head to Minho at his voice. “Seriously, you don’t sound a day over... three years out of practice.” Seungmin rolled his eyes at Minho’s remark, who only chuckled a bit too hard at his own joke. “No, but, honestly, it sounded really good. Just how I remembered.” Seungmin accidentally frowned. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

Seungmin stared at Jisung, Chan and Changbin as they went from trying to seriously sing the song, one which Seungmin didn’t recognise, to screaming over each other almost like they were having a competition to see who could imitate a banshee. He winced before turning to face Minho completely. “I don’t know, I feel weird. Like, I don’t know... I think I may be feeling regret right now.”

“Regret about what?” Minho creased his eyebrows. 

“About giving up singing.” Seungmin scrunched his mouth up in contemplation. “I don’t know, I don’t know what is going through my mind right now but... I think I missed singing. Like, really _really_ missed singing. And, now I’m wondering if I made a mistake. Dropping it to focus on science. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love science but the way I felt just now... I don’t think I’ll ever feel like that wearing a lab coat. Maybe I’m just getting caught up in the emotions of it, I really don’t know. I just... why are you laughing at me?”

Minho tried his hardest to suppress his giggles, but once Seungmin confronted him about it, he couldn’t hold back any longer. “I’m sorry, I really am, it’s just... we’re in high school, Seungmin. We’re not even seniors yet. You’re not old enough to drink, or drive, and you’re worrying about whether you’ve chosen the wrong career path. Maybe you have, maybe you’re not destined to be a scientist and cure the common cold. Or maybe you’re not destined to be a singer with millions of fans who lose their minds because you... dyed your hair a shade lighter, whatever. What you should be focusing on right now, is that you found your love for music again. That’s a wonderful thing. I know it’s like, a big deal or whatever, to decide what we wanna do with our lives but you don’t need to worry about that right now. Just enjoy your birthday, and sing your heart out you funky little nerd.” 

Seungmin blinked at Minho, partly because that was the most he had heard Minho say in one sitting in the longest time, but also because Minho seemed to have the ability to say exactly what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it. The song came to an end, all three boys panting breathlessly, yet Jisung was hyped for another round already, having just won the banshee competition.

“Come on!” He grabbed Seungmin’s arm, pulling him up, before grabbing Minho’s as an after-thought. Changbin and Chan collapsed into the booth. “Hey, come on, we have to do a song all together!” Changbin shrugged, jumping up, but Chan waved it off, claiming he needed a breather. 

“I’ll sit with him, we’ll join in on the next one.” Felix told Jisung, causing him to sigh exasperatedly, but he grouped with the others nonetheless. Both boys sat up, eyes trained on the mess of people that were bumbling about in front of them, trying to decide on which song to sing next. Felix glanced at Chan through the corner of his eye, only to see he was doing the same thing. They both looked away, then looked back again, resulting in them catching each other in the act once more. Felix tried to hold back a smile of amusement, but he lost his composure when Chan was the first to crack. “Stop looking at me.” Felix whined through a laugh, only resulting in Chan to smile wider at his adorableness. 

“Why can’t I look at you? You’re sitting next to me, how can I not look at you?” 

Felix spluttered. “Well, maybe look in front of you, where you’re supposed to look. At the- at them.” He pointed vaguely at the quartet who finally seemed to agree on a song, only for Jisung to mess up the first lyric. 

“What if I want to look at you, though?” 

Snapping his eyes to the curly haired boy, Felix felt like there was a virus in the computer of his brain, for he couldn’t think straight. Unfortunately, the computer was overheating from being flustered, and a zip-file was accidentally clicked. “Why did you offer to pay Hyunjin on behalf of me?”

Chan’s smile dropped, feeling his ears start to heat up. “He... he told you about that? I don’t know, I just said it without thinking. I guess my imagination ran wild for a bit and I thought I was in one of those mafia movies where Hyunjin was like a loan shark, and I was supposed to be the main character who saves you-“ He stopped abruptly, realising what he was saying. His eyes snapped to Felix just in time for Felix to hide his smitten smirk. The two were silent for a moment, just staring at each other while the room filled with a chaotic mess of voices which slurred into noise. “What did you and Hyunjin bet on, and why are you guys betting on things?” Chan figured if Felix brought it up, then he might as well ask the questions burning on his tongue. 

“Cake.” Felix replied after a beat. Chan blinked in confusion, and Felix sighed. “About a year ago, Hyunjin came by the bakery and I recognised him from school. He wanted to buy a cake for his mum’s birthday, and he was asking me about what I recommended. Somehow we got into a debate over lemon cake versus strawberry cake and I said _‘I bet your mum will love the strawberry cake more than the lemon cake’_. He asked me what he would get if I was wrong, and I said he could come back and get any cake free-of-charge. I then asked what would I get if I was right, and he said it was up to me. As a joke I said a shark plushie, because there was this one shark plushie in the claw machine down at the arcade that I never could get. Next day, he comes back with the exact shark plushie I spent weeks trying to win, saying, _‘my mum loved the strawberry cake’._ ” Chan let out a light chuckle, as Felix carried on. “And, yeah, ever since we would just have random little bets going on, silly stuff like who in our class would end up confessing to who, or who could get a higher grade in a test. If he won, he got free cake. If I won, I got a free plushie. You’d be surprised how many plushies that guy has, I don’t know where he gets them from because he can’t have won _all_ of them.”

Of course, something that Chan knew which Felix didn’t was that Hyunjin was a master at arcade games. All his life, he’d never left an arcade without his arms full to the brim with plushies won from various game stations, to the point his house was almost overflowing with them. If anything, Hyunjin losing these bets and giving Felix a plushie each time would be doing the Hwang household a favour. “So, what was the bet you had going on last week? The one you lost?”

“I bet that Hyunjin couldn’t last an entire history lesson without getting detention. He’s always butting heads with that teacher so I thought it would be almost impossible for him. I’m glad I was proven wrong.” Felix smiled. “I guess either way, it’s a win. Though, _he_ was the one that ended up with a free slice of cookies-and-cream cheesecake.”

Chan quirked his mouth to the side awkwardly. “So, you and Hyunjin make bets using _cake_ and _plushies_?” He scoffed softly with humour. “I don’t know why I expected anything else. I thought you owed him a lot of _money_.”

“Yeah, so you can imagine my surprise when Hyunjin tells me that _Bang Chan_ offered to _pay off my debts for me_. He had a field day with that one, going on about how you can’t even bake- which, we already knew.”

Chan spluttered. “Okay, no, he’s overdramatising it. I didn’t phrase it like that exactly. I don’t know. I’m sorry for getting involved in that way.” Chan hesitated, another question materialising in his mind. “Is that why you’ve been acting a bit... just, like you didn’t really want to hang out with me much these days.”

Felix shifted slightly in his seat. “I mean, I didn’t _not_ want to hang out with you. I just didn’t know why you offered, and my mind kind of spiralled. Anyway.” Felix brushed it off, as he trailed off at the end. “It’s all good now.” 

“Are you sure?” Chan tilted his head, not wanting to leave anything lingering over their heads on the subject. Felix nodded, his usual smile back on his face that couldn’t be faked by even the most talented actor in the universe. A smile only Felix Lee could grace people with. A smile that burned like the sun, scorching Chan’s heart in ways he never could have imagined. 

A voice called out to them. “Yo, lovebirds! It’s your turn to sing. Felix, you haven’t even gone once.”

Felix stared incredulously at Jisung. “I-I can’t even sing.”

“Nonsense, everyone can sing.” Jisung grabbed the two as the others sat back down, shoving microphones into their grasps, despite their protests. “You know what, someday you guys might thank me for this.” Patting both their shoulders comfortingly, he ran to his seat, leaving the two blondes to lock eyes in bewilderment. 

“I’ve literally never held a mic before in my life.” Felix muttered. 

“Did Jisung just make a _High School Musical_ reference? He hasn’t even seen the movie-“

“Pick a song already, I’m getting bored!” Minho yelled obnoxiously, like a child. 

Chan quickly scanned the list of songs before picking the first one he recognised. Straightening up, he turned to a panicked Felix who was frozen on the spot, while the instrumental for _Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee_ sounded through the room. Smiling softly, Chan grabbed Felix’s left hand with his right, holding his gaze. “It’s okay, just follow my lead.”

Needless to say, the song was a complete mess. However, by the end of it, Felix was no longer nervous but was laughing so hard he almost fell over multiple times. The others laughed too, their bodies scattered around the booth as their chuckles echoed off the walls. Seungmin felt like his cheeks were going to burst. Sobering up slightly, he took in the sight around him, his friends around him, and a warm feeling emanated from his chest. He recognised that as an emotion: happiness. 

When Seungmin got home, he noticed that the kitchen light was on. Moving through the space, he peered inside to see his mum was standing over the counter, a bag of icing in her hands. Upon hearing his footsteps, her head popped up and she smiled instantly. “Seungminnie, you’re home? How was karaoke? I hope you weren’t too surprised. When Chan told me his plan I warned him you might not feel up to it, but he insisted. It was nice to see him, he’s grown up so well- Oh!” Craning her neck, she looked at a grinning Seungmin who had come up behind her to give her a hug. “What’s this for?” 

“Just because. I feel like I haven’t hugged you in a while.” 

“You haven’t.” She hugged him back, tighter, before pulling away and gesturing to the table before her. “How is it?” It was a plain vanilla cake, one Seungmin knew his mum would have bought from the supermarket, but on the surface was the words ‘ _Happy Birthday Seungmin_ ’ in sky-blue icing against a crumb coat layer of white icing. 

“I love it.” Seungmin smiled. His mother eyed him peculiarly, as if she was questioning whether that was really her son, or if he was snatched by body-morphing aliens. She chose to just revel in his sudden brightness of mood, placing the icing bag down. 

“That’s a relief. I made you some seaweed soup, so we can eat dinner before having some cake and fruit.” Mrs Kim stopped abruptly, remembering. “Oh, your father wanted to come home early for your birthday but he’s just so busy at the office, he wasn’t able to take time off. I’m sorry, son.” Honestly, Seungmin didn’t expect anything less. His father hadn’t been home for his birthday the last few years, he was used to it. Although, he realised something that day. That he shouldn’t take what’s right in front of him for granted, by focusing so much on what isn’t. 

Pressing his lips together, Seungmin nodded understandingly. “It’s okay. Because you’re here.” His mother’s eyes lit up with emotion, and she pulled him into another hug, almost knocking Seungmin’s glasses off his face. 

Jeongin shrugged his backpack on, before closing his locker, preceding a high-pitched squeal of surprise, not expecting Felix to be standing next to him, smiling straight at him. Jeongin cleared his throat deeply. “Hey Lix...”

“Hey Innie...” Felix drawled, the undertones of mischief seeping through his features. “How’s it going?”

“Fine? I think? Was that a trick question?”

Felix giggled, only causing Jeongin’s fear factor to go up by fifty. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.”

“...think of what?”

Leaning back, Felix put a finger to his chin as his eyes assessed Jeongin. “Jeongin, do you wish for freedom?”

“Huh?” Jeongin blinked. 

“You know, the...” Words fading away, Felix smiled awkwardly at the group of people who were forever tethered to Jeongin, virtually, everywhere he went. “Do you wish to be free?”

“...I still feel like this is a trick question.”

Felix sighed, grabbing the raven-haired boy’s shoulders. “Listen to me carefully. Do you want to get rid of the group of people who are standing so dangerously close I have to lower my voice?” Jeongin just stared at Felix, causing him to drop his hands exasperatedly. “I didn’t think you would be the hardest one to crack. Jisung is right: it’s always the one you least expect.” He muttered under his breath, as Jeongin snuck a look behind him quickly to see they were all staring at him. “You have a problem with confronting people right?”

“Well-“

“Which is why you don’t know how to tell these people that you want them to leave you alone, right?” Jeongin hesitated, triggering Felix to grin. “Okay, come with me.”

Jeongin held his ground as Felix tried to pull him away. “Hold on. Wherever you take me, they’re just going to follow.” 

Unintentionally breathing a laugh, Felix replied with, “I know. That’s why we run.”

“What?”

The next thing Jeongin could process was that Felix had grabbed his hand and the two were sprinting down the corridor, turning a sharp corner. Leaping up the stairs, all Jeongin could do was allow Felix to haul him wherever he was taking him - something Jeongin had just accepted was a new norm for him at this point - until a classroom came into sight, with a Bang Chan guarding it. “Quick, in here!” He called, Jeongin being shoved through the door by Felix, and Chan closing it immediately after. He opened his locker, nonchalantly whistling, as the crowd who was hot on their tails darted their heads in all directions, before running down to the other staircase. Releasing a breath of relief, Chan joined the others in the classroom to see Jeongin and Changbin staring at each other awkwardly. 

“...so, what do you think? Are you up for it?” 

Latching his eyes back onto Felix, Jeongin took a long pause before nodding in reply to his question. “Sure, you can try. I’ll warn you, though. I’m basically a hopeless case.”

Changbin smiled softly but reassuringly. “Lucky for you, those are my specialities.” 

Jeongin had an issue with self confidence and speaking up for himself, forever hindered by his fear of confrontation that he was condemned to having a corral of admirers tracking his every step. Jeongin didn’t mind the attention at first, he found it quite flattering, like people wanted to be his friend. That was until he realised that they didn’t actually want to be his friend, they just wanted to be known as his friend. Not once had anyone asked him a question about himself or really spoken to him more than shallow statements like, ‘ _you look so good today_ ’, or ‘ _let’s go to the gym this weekend_ ’ as well as being dragged day after day to the boba-tea shop, forced to drink the same drink every time because they never did ask him which flavour he wanted, and he didn’t have the courage to tell them. All they saw was a pretty smile and a built body, instantly pushing Jeongin to the top of the social hierarchy, despite his lack of desire to be. A year and a half later, Jeongin wanted out. But he never could bring himself to do it. That’s where Seo Changbin comes into the picture, the most confident person that Felix knew. He brutally facepalmed when he realised that he completely overlooked the fact Changbin would be the perfect person to coach Jeongin into gaining some self-assurance, while maybe bringing the two together as part of Operation: Found Boys. Changbin, himself, was starting to get suspicious. He knew Felix like the back of his hand, and he knew he was up to something. He also reckoned that maybe he was figuring it out. Smirking to himself, Felix grasped Chan by the elbow and yanked him outside the room, leaving them to it.

“Alright!” Changbin clasped his hands together. “Now, I’ve never really tried to _coach_ someone before so I don’t really know how it all works but I’ll give it a go. Okay, um, confidence. To be honest with you, it’s not something I’ve ever had to _learn_ , but I’m sure you can. Um, okay let me see you walk.”

“Huh?” 

“Well, the way you walk is a clear sign of whether you have confidence or not.” Changbin waited as Jeongin stood on the other side of the room and casually walked over to him. Scrunching his face up, he shook his head. “No, okay, you’re too slouched.” He got up from sitting on top of a desk, and made his way over to him. “Straighten your back...” He pushed his shoulders back so they were parallel to the ground, “...raise your head so you’re looking straight ahead...” He lifted his chin, “...and, take your hands out of your pockets. Where’s your backpack?” 

Jeongin quickly retrieved it from the ground and slipped it on, feeling the weight of his books. Changbin told him to try again, noting that it was slightly better than before. “Just try not to look at the ground. If you want to feel confident, you have to look confident. You know, fake it until you make it. Try to use your backpack to help your posture. If you slouch, the heavy books will hurt your shoulders.” 

“You wear your backpack with one strap, though.” Jeongin commented, referring to the one that was laid on the table, zipper open, with one worn out strap while the other looked almost brand new. “Doesn’t _that_ hurt your shoulder?”

Changbin scrunched his nose up. “Sometimes, but I look cool doing it. Plus, _I_ have good posture.”

Jeongin cut his eyes at the other boy. “Hey, _I_ can have good posture if I tried, and _I_ can look cool wearing my bag like that.” Jeongin straightened up, doing everything Changbin told him to do a moment ago, while removing one strap, causing his backpack to swing downwards, the sudden momentum catching him off guard as he teetered to the side. As he was near the desk that Changbin had lazily thrown his bag onto, he accidentally pushed it, causing loose-leaf papers to scatter. Apologising profusely, Jeongin swept down and gathered the sheets up, despite Changbin repeatedly mumbling that it was fine, as he also crouched down to quickly rake them up, almost frantically like he didn’t want Jeongin to see them. Unfortunately for him, he did. Jeongin furrowed his eyebrows as he read the scrawly handwriting in black ink, already figuring out what it was from the first line. “Changbin, are these love lyrics?”

Snatching the sheet in Jeongin’s hand, Changbin felt his cheeks burn up for the first time in an eternity. “No, they’re not lyrics.”

He stood up and crammed everything back into his bag, Jeongin jumping up after him. “Love letters? Love poems?” At the last word, Changbin snapped his eyes to Jeongin’s, causing him to smile teasingly. “Wow, I didn’t know our little Binnie was such a romantic.” Jeongin didn’t mean to call him that, it sort of just fell out of his mouth before he could stop himself. 

Changbin cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone. Not because I’m embarrassed, I just don’t need people to know. It’s something I do for myself and it’s no one’s business so don’t tell anyone. Not even Yongbok knows.”

“So, who are they about?” 

“They’re not about anyone, read them, they’re not personal or anything. Just based on movies and dramas, and stuff.” Scanning over the words, Jeongin couldn’t help but be moved slightly by the stanzas, thinking that Changbin was a pretty talented poet. 

Once again, Jeongin spoke without realising what he was saying. “Are they about Lix?”

Changbin looked at him, incredulously. “Wow, you think because I’m best friends with him that means I’m in love with him? No way, never in a million years. I mean, I love the guy but, god no.” 

Jeongin shrugged defensively. “Look, I don’t know, I refuse to believe you’ve never had a crush on anyone if you can write like that.”

“I have had a crush on someone before.” Changbin answered, coolly, resulting in Jeongin’s eyes lighting up. 

“You did?! On who?!”

“You.”

Jeongin blinked. Once. Then twice. Then a third time, for good measure. Changbin carried on, waving off Jeongin’s shocked expression. “This was back when we were twelve, though, so it’s been a long time since.”

“When we were twelve?! But... I had braces, and squishy cheeks, and I was so small you could throw me in a bin.” Jeongin blurted out, refusing to take Changbin seriously. 

“Ah, back when you were so adorable I thought I was going to die from your cuteness.” Changbin sighed, dreamily, folding his arms. “Now, you’re like, this tall, buff guy. Not really my type.”

“You’re literally more buff than me.”

“What’s your point?”

Jeongin pursed his lips awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. “Nothing, you’re not my type either, I don’t care.”

Cracking a smirk, Changbin swiftly backed Jeongin into the wall, holding his hands against it on either side of the boy’s head. Like a deer caught in headlights, all Jeongin could do was stare into the impish look in Changbin’s eyes. “Are you sure about that?”

The only thought on Jeongin’s mind was: how am I being intimidated by someone who is five-foot-six?

Changbin chuckled, crossing back over to the other side of the classroom. “Come on, we clearly have a lot of work to do.”

Students were bustling as they left the school gates, making their way home for the evening before inevitably reversing their way back in, come the next morning. Jeongin was among these students, imprisoned by his usual captors, as he went through the mantra Changbin taught him in his head: _speak your mind, and everything will be fine_. Inhaling a deep breath, as if it was the last breath Jeongin would ever take, he spoke up. “E-excuse me...” Alas, no one had paid mind to him, but he wasn’t going to give up there. “Excuse me...” Still, not a soul had even realised the boy was trying to talk to them. Feeling dejected, Jeongin contemplated whether the whole thing was useless, if he was cursed to forever be stuck in this loop of invisible popularity, when he looked into the near distance and saw a familiar face beaming at him while holding a thumbs up. Nodding, Jeongin halted his footsteps, causing the people behind him to stumble in a canon. “Hey!” 

Finally, everyone in the group had stopped and turned to him, Jeongin already feeling his knees go weak at the attention. “I...” He lifted his gaze back at Changbin, who was watching the whole thing with a hopeful expression. “I don’t want to go to the boba-tea place today. Or tomorrow. Honestly, if I never went again it would be too soon.” His peers exchanged confused looks, muttering to each other as if Jeongin was just a film on a TV screen, instead of talking to him directly. Sighing out a scoff, Jeongin shook his head, willing himself to voice the thoughts he’d been hiding for a long time. “This has been fun- well, actually no it hasn’t been fun at all- for me, I mean, it might have been fun for you but- anyway, I’m done. Thank you for... your interest? I don’t know, I don’t really know what I’m saying but... I guess, this is me telling you that I don’t want to...” Come on Jeongin, you can do it. “I don’t want to hang out with you guys anymore.” He quickly added as an afterthought, not wanting to come across as mean. “Not that there’s anything wrong about hanging out with you, well to be truthful-“

“Okay.” One of the guys spoke up. Jeongin froze, taken aback. “If you don’t want to hang out with us, then that’s totally fine. It’s up to you after all. We’ll see you around, Jeongin.” And just like that, the others flocked around the new spokesperson as they sauntered off the school premises. Jeongin had to hold back a laugh of disbelief. Some people just need someone to follow. 

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jeongin smiled in utter glee. He removed his palms to track Changbin down, who was still staring straight at him but this time with a matching grin. The two began to run towards each other, excitedly yelling, until they met in the middle in a sudden chest bump, both of them groaning at the impact as they didn’t really think it through. Changbin shook it off. “I told you you could do it! Come on, let’s get food to celebrate. We can go to the kimbab place down the street. Oh, get on my back like they do in those sports movies when someone scores the winning goal!” Changbin wrapped Jeongin’s arms around his shoulders, before hitching him up onto his back, causing the latter to let out a squeal. 

“Are you sure you still don’t have a crush on me?” Jeongin teased, and Changbin glared playfully over his shoulder before charging along the path, both of them almost screaming as if it was a battlecry. 

Felix and Chan exchanged a look, having witnessed the entire encounter, before smiling at each other and following the two clowns out of school. Chan had somehow made it a habit to walk Felix home after school, before getting picked up from the corner of the road. Since Seungmin’s birthday, the two had gone back to their usual normal, as if _that_ period of time hadn’t even existed. 

“Oh!” Felix suddenly exclaimed, slapping his forehead. “Can we go to the convenience store real quick? I need to pick something up.” Chan agreed, and they took a detour towards the convenience store nearby. Felix scanned the shelves before spotting what he was looking for. He grabbed the box of hair bleach, sheepishly addressing Chan. “Uh, my roots were starting to grow in so...”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, why did you decide to dye your hair blonde?” Chan rushed, as an afterthought. “Not that I’m questioning that decision- I mean, you look good with- it’s just out of curiosity...”

Felix giggled in reaction, as they manoeuvred through the aisles. “Um, one of my friends dared me to do it, so I did, and I realised that I really liked it. So, I haven’t looked back since.” He turned to Chan once he finished explaining. “What about you?”

“Hm? What about _me_?” 

“Yeah? I’m not the only blonde in this shop.” Felix maintained his simper, before noticing that Chan’s face had dropped slowly. Felix creased his eyebrow concernedly, but Chan had already zoned out... 

_”You should try to get used to talking about certain things without triggering yourself.” Dr. Choi recommended, tapping her pen against her notebook subconsciously._

_Chan shifted slightly. “Like what?”_

_She shrugged, humming lightly. “Anything that reminds you of it, but doesn’t directly link. By getting comfortable with the small associations, it will make it easier to sever the larger ones.”_

“Oh, right. It was a dare for me too. To be honest, I don’t really like it much but I can’t bring myself to dye it back.” Chan spoke emptily, a vacant look in his eyes. 

Felix wanted to ask him why, but something told him it would be better if he didn’t. “Hey, do you wanna come over to mine and help me? With the hair dyeing? I could do it myself, but it would be easier and probably more fun with an extra pair of hands.”

Chan began to smile softly, his eyes filling with its regular softness again. “Sure. I’d love to.” 

“Great!” Felix grinned, internally cringing at his overly excited tone. “I’ll just go pay for this-“ He spun around to locate the cashier, when he felt Chan tug on his wrist, swinging him back around. Felix was yanked into Chan’s chest, immediately taking both of them back to when they were covered in flour in Chan’s kitchen. Same as then, they couldn’t help but hold each other’s gaze, except this time it felt different. This time, neither of them wanted to look away. 

“You... you were gonna bump into the postcard stand...” Chan muttered quietly but loud enough for Felix to hear. 

“Oh.” Felix breathed. 

The both of them felt like their hearts were going to burst, before Chan forced himself to blink rapidly, Changbin’s words of not leading Felix on forever ringing through his memory. Chan reached behind Felix, and grabbed two random-flavoured bowls of instant ramen. “Uh, we might get hungry, so...”

“R-right.” Felix nodded statically, making sure to carefully turn around this time and find the checkout. 

When Chan entered Felix’s apartment, that settled above the Happiness Bakery, for the first time, his immediate thought was how homely it felt. It was definitely small, smaller than Chan had ever aboded, but he liked how you could tell a family lived there. Felix’s room was the smallest, considering his parents shared a room and his sisters shared another. Honestly speaking, Felix’s bedroom could probably fit into Chan’s walk-in wardrobe, but there was still plenty of space for two. Chan took in Felix’s bedroom fondly; there was a poster of various superheroes plastered to the wall above his bed, as well as miscellaneous items scattered across his desk among his textbooks. A few of the plushies that he’d won from Hyunjin were tucked on the bed, and there was a string of printed photos hanging over the window sill, some that were clearly from back in Australia. 

Felix returned from the kitchen, holding the two bowls of ramen they had purchased earlier, which now had steam rising out the lids, giddily placing them on the floor in front of Chan before taking a seat opposite him. Chan still couldn’t hold back his giggles at how adorable Felix looked wearing a shower cap, since they had finished applying the bleaching mixture to his scalp, allowing time for it to lift his natural colour from the roots. Sneakily, Chan raised his phone to take a picture, the capture sound alerting the freckled boy what his companion was doing.

“Chan, no! You can’t ever show that to anyone! I mean it!” Felix berated, waving his chopsticks in the air, despite the playful smile on his face. 

“I won’t, I won’t!” Chan promised as he swiped his thumb across the screen to set it as Felix’s contact picture, so whenever he would call him it would pop up. He rubbed his hands together gleefully at the food in front of him, before tucking in and releasing joyful hums once the noodles hit his taste buds. Felix found it endearing how expressive Chan was when he enjoyed what he was eating, making another mental note to get him to try his cooking one day.

“So, your Changbin-and-Jeongin plan worked.” Chan began, taking another mouthful of noodles. 

“I know, I’m kind of shocked. I was fully expecting Phase: Jeongbin to fail.” 

Chan almost choked. “Phase: Jeongbin? You’ve really come up with a codename for everyone, haven’t you?”

Felix nodded vigorously. “Of course! There’s 2min, and Binsung, Hyunsung as well but that’s, like, a boss-level phase.”

“What would we be?”

A ramen noodle was hanging from Felix’s mouth as he became paralysed for a moment, before slurping it up noisily. “Um... I don’t, I didn’t, um...”

“I’m thinking Chanlix.” Smiling gently, Chan leaned back against the side of Felix’s bed, having already been done with his bowl of ramen while Felix was hardly half-way through his. “Yeah, Chanlix sounds right.” Felix couldn’t tell if his cheeks were burning up because of Chan, or the heat from the broth. Who are we kidding, it was definitely the former. “Anyway, to more successful phases. The Lost Boys are almost completely found.” Chan lifted his bottle of water, prompting Felix to lift his own can of cola with a teasing grin. 

“You’re gonna need to change the name.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: themes of anxiety

Saturday mornings were Chan’s designated window of time for him to have a lie-in, an opportunity to at least make an attempt at catching up on an ounce of sleep that he may have missed over the week. Waking up for school so early in the morning, five days a week, was too much for his nocturnal body clock to handle, Chan convinced that if he didn’t give himself the extra few hours of shuteye then his bones would snap like brittle. It had been an exceptionally exhausting week, in particular, as a lot had gone on. October finally arrived, causing Felix and Jisung to spend all their free time shooting hoops in the gymnasium, for their big basketball game that was on the upcoming Wednesday and they couldn’t afford a second of rest. Of course, this irritated Chan slightly, as Felix spending more time practicing meant spending less time with him, but he didn’t mind too much since he knew how important the game was to him. Now that majority of The Lost Boys were on friendly terms, Chan divided his time up evenly between them; he would eat lunch with Changbin and Jeongin, he would sometimes hang out with Minho, Seungmin and Hyunjin at the tree, and then, if he was able to wait long enough, after basketball practice - which was increased to every day after school - he would grab some boba-tea with Jisung and Felix. It felt amazing to be able to hang out with his friends again, all of them, even if it wasn’t all at the same time. One day, though, Chan vowed to himself, one day they would. And it would all be thanks to Felix. 

Speaking of Felix, he was also the reason why Chan wasn’t able to indulge in one of his _Saturday Sleep-ins_ , as around way-too-early-o’clock in the morning, Chan’s phone began to ring obnoxiously, forcing the curly-haired blonde to grumbly awaken. The second he saw the name pop up on the screen, however, he felt like he was jolted with electricity. He answered, pressing it to his ear, but before he could greet him, Felix screamed:

“Happy birthday, moonshine!”

Chan started making it a habit to call Felix _sunshine_ , a nickname which Felix opposed at first as he didn’t believe it suited him at all, which only prompted Chan to call him it more frequently, mostly because he loved how Felix would secretly blush every time he heard the word, despite his protests. This then led to Felix saying, “Well, if you’re gonna call me _sunshine_ , then... then I’ll call you _moonshine_.”

“Isn’t that alcohol?” 

Nonetheless, the nicknames stuck, bringing us back to Felix yelling it down the phone as Chan lazily scratched the side of his face while wincing at the decibel. “Good morning to you too, sunshine.”

“I can’t talk for long, because I have to get to practice, but I wanted to be the first one to say it when you woke up. Am I the first? Am I?”

Chan chuckled, tucking an arm under his head. “You’re the first.” He broke into more laughter when he heard Felix whoop adorably over the phone, before he rushed out something about him being late for practice and that he would call him back later. Chan would have had to cut the call anyway, as the second Felix disconnected, there was a knock on his door. 

“Good morning, Mr Chan, and happy birthday.” Mr Soo bowed as he entered once Chan allowed him to, before crossing the room to open the curtains. Chan winced, once again, at the bright light filling the space, thanking him. He watched curiously as Mr Soo hesitated at the window, before reluctantly walking back to the door. He turned to Chan and spoke out the words monotonously, “Your parents are waiting downstairs,” then left swiftly before he could see the shock settle into the boy’s features. 

Like most, Chan had a complicated relationship with his parents. Since moving back to Korea, his parents were adamant that they would call him every night to make sure he was doing okay, something Chan knew would not be true before he even stepped on the plane. At first they did, they made sure to get Mr Soo to keep tabs on him and update them on how therapy was going, if he made any friends at school and so forth. But, of course, as time went on and as work got busier it was expected that Chan wouldn’t hear from them days at a time. He didn’t mind though, it wasn’t like he spoke to them every day when they were living in the same household. Don’t get me wrong, Chan still loved his parents but he wasn’t exactly best friends with them. He understood why they were so busy all the time, owning a popular drinks’ company was very demanding, but no one could blame him for wishing his parents were there for him more. Especially when he needed them. 

Trudging down the stairs, he immediately spotted the luggage by the front door, informing him that they must have landed only a few hours prior. Typical. Instead of searching for them in the living room, which is what he should have done, Chan pushed on the double doors to the kitchen, swinging them open to see Mother Cook preparing a tray of breakfast foods and tea. “Happy birthday, Channie! Did you sleep well?” 

Grinning, Chan waddled across the floor and wrapped her in a big hug. “I slept great,” He looked down at the arrangement, “I’m guessing these are for my parents?”

She smiled solemnly. “They’re in the dining room.” 

Chan nodded, blowing air out of his cheeks. He grabbed the tray off the island, despite Mother Cook’s protests, and swooped into the dining room. The dining room hadn’t been touched in literal years, Chan opting to eat breakfast and dinner in the kitchen while keeping Mother Cook company, so the second Chan stepped into the space he was hit with a wave of memories. Some were good, of when he would have parties or gatherings with his friends, while most were bad, of being forced to sit and eat with his parents in utter silence. As if nothing had changed, Mr and Mrs Bang were sitting in the same seats that they had always sat in, opposite each other, almost like they chose them based on which ones had the farthest distance between them. His mum’s head shot to the door upon hearing it open, a smile spreading on her face. 

“Son! Happy birthday!” She jumped up, and took the tray from his hands. “Oh, you shouldn’t be carrying this.” She placed it down, before spinning to face Chan again and yanked him into a bone crushing hug. 

“Hello mother.” He greeted politely, returning her embrace. Chan glanced at his father who was typing something out on his phone. “And, father.”

Finally, Mr Bang looked up from his phone, probably typing out an email. “Ah, Chan. Happy birthday, son. Take a seat.” Both him and his mother sat at the table, Chan’s mum moving to pour the tea from the teapot. “How have you been? How are your studies?”

Chan shrugged. “Okay. I think. I forgot how much harder everything is here, but I think I’m doing alright.”

Mr Bang looked at him, concernedly. “Do you want me to hire a tutor, if you’re struggling?”

“No, no, I’m not struggling. It’s fine, the workload is fine. I just need to get used to the work style again.” Chan played with his fingers under the table awkwardly. His dad’s reaction to most things was always: how can I use money to solve this? “So, I love that you’re here and everything, but why?”

Mrs Bang looked at him incredulously. “For your birthday, of course! Why else would we have come?”

“You didn’t need to come just for my birthday...” He muttered sheepishly, reaching over his cup of tea to pick up a croissant, feeling his stomach start to churn. He glanced at his dad, to see he was back on his phone, and shoved half the pastry into his mouth dejectedly. 

“Chan, we weren’t going to miss your birthday!” His mother spluttered, forgetting how neither she nor Mr Bang had been around for Chan’s birthday in the last few recent years, back when they were living in the same country. “You know what we should do today? We should go shopping. Buy you some new clothes, instead of you wearing that same black shirt all the time.”

Chan blinked. “I like this shirt.” It wasn’t the _exact_ same shirt that he wore every day without washing, but that he bought multiple items of the same black shirt from the same brand, making him appear like some sort of cartoon character. 

She tutted at him, dismissively. “Eat up and get ready. We’ll bring the car around in half an hour.” 

Chan never properly understood the saying _shop until you drop_ , until it was a few hours later and Chan was ready to pass out. His mother had dragged him to various clothing outlets, picking up random articles of clothing and holding them up against him to vaguely check the size, before tossing it into a basket. His father seemed to follow along aimlessly, his eyes glued to his phone like it would hurt him if he looked away. Chan wasn’t too fussed as he had his headphones and a playlist that could run nonstop for an entire week, but by the end of the shopping spree he was ready to go back to bed. That was until he remembered he had an appointment with Dr Choi. 

Craning his head out the window, he realised the car had stopped outside of her office. He casually unbuckled his belt, about to say goodbye to his parents, when his mum said something that caused the seatbelt to zip backward against the seat with a clang. “You’re going to what?”

“We’re joining your session today.” His mother repeated calmly. “Dr Choi asked us to come in, when we could, and since it was your birthday we thought today would be the best day.” 

Mr Bang chimed in. “Besides, I’ve been wanting to meet her, see if she’s worth the price.”

So, they didn’t come _just_ for Chan’s birthday. It stung, just a little bit, but it was nothing Chan wasn’t used to. Wordlessly, he opened the car door and got out, Mr Soo watching him through the rear view mirror sympathetically. 

“Hello, I’m Dr Choi. It’s nice to meet you.” She bowed respectfully, once the family entered the room. “Please sit down.” Chan sat between his parents, his hands rubbing against his jeans like he was wiping sweat off his palms. “Thank you sincerely for coming in today, I know it must have been a journey to get here but I felt it was very necessary we had at least one session with all of you so I can get a sense of how the situation has affected other people in Chan’s life. I understand that you, Mrs Bang, must have been, incredibly.”

Chan’s mum pressed her lips together as she nodded, before releasing a shallow breath. “Yes, of course. It was very difficult for me to process, but I can’t even imagine what... what Chan...” She sighed shakily, prompting Chan to grab her hand as he tried to reassure her that he was fine, the both of them fighting back tears. Even Chan’s father managed to finally put his phone away, a grave expression moulding his features and his eyes trained on a random spot on the carpet. “It hasn’t even been a year, yet it feels like so long ago. But also like it was just yesterday that they were...” She bit down on her lip harshly, as her words started to tremble. 

Dr Choi leaned back, dragging the end of a pen she was using to write notes along the arm of her chair absentmindedly. “And, you? Mr Bang?”

Slowly, he met her gaze and shrugged, locking his fingers. “The situation was undeniably unfortunate, but I trust my son. And I know that he wasn’t at fault in any of this. I know that it’s only his word against everyone’s assumptions, but Bang Chan would never do such a thing. I would put my life on the line to defend that statement- and, I did! I took an oath.” 

“Mr Bang. I’m not a detective, a lawyer or a judge. I’m a therapist. Please speak to me like one.” She responded pointedly, and Chan secretly wanted to give her a high five. “This isn’t an interrogation on whether or not Bang Chan is guilty, I just want to know how the situation affected _you_.”

He shrugged once again. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I barely knew the boy, and all I did know was that he was a troubled kid. Always bringing our Chan into dangerous situations-“

“That’s not true!” Chan interjected. “You can’t say that, you didn’t even know him!”

Suddenly, Mrs Bang burst into tears, covering her sobs with her palm.

“Here we go...” Mr Bang muttered with a deep sigh. 

“Seriously? How insensitive can you be?” Chan gaped at his father in shock at his behaviour. 

“We’re here to help _you_ Bang Chan, but she just has to make it all about herself, as per usual.”

Chan spluttered out a mirthless laugh of disbelief. “Are you even listening to yourself?! Mum has every right to be affected by this just as much as me.” 

“No, no, he’s right.” Mrs Bang sniffed, dabbing her cheeks with the back of her hand. “What you went through... the last six months were absolutely horrible for me, I can’t even imagine what it was like for you.”

Chan sunk back into his seat. “I’m fine now.”

“Are you, though? Aren’t you having those nightmares every night?” She recalled, turning her body to face him. 

Chan looked down at his lap. “I told you, they’re getting better. And, it’s not _every_ night anymore.” 

Dr Choi cut in. “Chan has shown a lot of progress since I’ve been working with him. You said your sleep schedule was getting better, since taking the melatonin?”

He ground the bottom of his shoe into the carpet below it. “Um, I guess you could say that. I’ve been sleeping better, but I can’t say I’ve been sleeping through the night like I should be.”

“He’s always been like that, he’s never been able to sleep through the entire night.” Mrs Bang informed, checking to see if her eyes were puffy with a compact mirror. “So, you’re telling me that Chan is doing well here? That he’ll be fixed?”

Dr Choi tried not to wince, especially when she saw the look on Chan’s face. “That’s not the type of word we like to use, but I strongly believe that, Bang Chan, you’re showing a lot of improvement. I’m sure your friends have something to do with it. Didn’t you say that you and your friends were reconciling? _The Lost Boys_ , isn’t that what you called it?” 

“ _The Lost Boys_.” Mr Bang scoffed. “I should have thrown out that stupid movie when I realised what it was.”

That’s when Chan had enough. “Well, you didn’t. And now we’re here, you can’t go back and change the past, because if you could, then you would need to change a hell of a lot more than letting me watch a movie to _fix_ me.” He shot out of his seat, storming out of the room. 

Both of his parents started rising to chase after him, when Dr Choi stopped them. “Before you go, I have no idea how much of this you’re aware of but Chan suffers from severe anxiety. It may not seem that bad given his confident, outgoing personality but it’s vital that you don’t stress him out more than necessary as anything could be a trigger for him. Some things that seem obvious might not be, and some things that seem not so obvious might cause him to spiral into a panic. I hope you’re mindful of this in the future.”

Slamming the car door, Chan slumped in his seat, his headphones tightly placed over his ears. Remembering all the breathing techniques he had accumulated over the last few sessions, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, making sure to time his breaths and inhales as he tried to think of things that could ground him. Food. Music. The sun. The sea. His friends. Felix. Felix’s smile. Felix’s laugh. The way Felix would get excited over the tiniest thing that impressed him. The way Felix would pout when Chan teased him before resolving into a smirk and teased him back. The way Felix was so kind to everyone around him and could brighten someone’s mood without even trying. The way Felix- 

Mr Soo reached into the dashboard compartment to retrieve a packet of gummy bears, before tossing them behind him so they would land somewhere near Chan. It’s destination ended up being in his lap, and his eyes shot open. He picked the package up confusedly, until he saw the words ‘ _happy birthday_ ’ penned on with a thick, black marker. He smiled at Mr Soo through the rear view mirror, who nodded at him in reply. 

“Chan, I really am sorry for upsetting you. You know I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just angry at myself for letting something like this happen.” Mr Bang repeated himself for the billionth time, as the car finally rolled up outside of their house. 

Leaning against the window, Chan sighed. “I said it was fine.” Chan was more upset that he hadn’t apologised to his mum, more than anything else, but Chan didn’t know why he ever thought he would. His parents were the type of couple who would never get a divorce, no matter how badly they needed it, for the sake of keeping the family together. It was clear as day that his parents loved him as much as they were capable of, but no longer had love for each other. Chan always wondered if they would ever separate, something he wouldn’t mind as long as they were both happy.

As soon as the family entered their home, the first thing they heard was, “Changbin, you absolute idiot!”

Worried and confused, Chan rushed into the living room to see all - yes, all - of his friends were in there, the floor littered with overnight carry-ons and sleeping bags. On one side of the room was Felix, Jisung and Jeongin, while the other had Minho, Hyunjin and Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jisung standing in front of each other, radiating a hostile atmosphere. However, it wasn’t at each other but rather at the shortest of the bunch: Seo Changbin. 

“Changbin, this is actually the stupidest thing you could have ever done!” Hyunjin raged, narrowing his eyes at the boy. 

“Yeah, Changbin, what the hell, man? How could you do this to me?!” Jisung exclaimed in disbelief. 

Mr Bang cleared his throat loudly, finally catching the seven boys’ attention, causing every single one of them to drop their faces one by one. Chan stared at his friends in bewilderment, grabbing Felix’s eye with an expression, as if to ask what the hell was going on. To which Felix replied with a shrug. Chan ran a hand through his hair, turning to his parents. “Um, I can deal with this. You guys should go up to your room, or something.”

Once his parents had left to go upstairs, Chan faced the group again. “Okay, what the hell is going on?!” He demanded. 

“Ask Changbin!” Everyone yelled in unison, before looking at the boy who was just smiling sheepishly. 

He breathed out an airy laugh. “You see, funny story- trust me, you’ll laugh- Yongbok and I,” He grabbed Felix’s shoulder, jouncing the smaller boy with momentum, “We wanted to do something special for your birthday. So, I suggested a surprise sleepover, you know, like we used to do. And, well, I guess we mixed up the invitation lists or whatever because...” His gaze travelled from Hyunjin to Jisung, as he trailed off. 

Chan narrowed his eyes at Changbin. He never was good at lying. Something told him he invited both Hyunjin and Jisung on purpose, but he couldn’t figure out why. Unless... he didn’t. Did he? Changbin smiled innocently, the most subtle sparkle of mischief in his eyes. 

“Screw this.”

Jisung grabbed Hyunjin’s wrist, and everyone held their breath, but all that happened was that he dragged him towards the kitchen. Where the knives were. “We’re not going to kill each other, don’t worry!” Jisung said, before slamming the doors shut. 

Felix whirled on Changbin. “You invited them both on purpose, didn’t you?!”

Changbin glanced at everyone, before grabbing Felix and shoving Chan out of the living room into the adjoining games room that was rarely ever used. 

“So, I guess we’ll just stay here, then?” Minho called out, him, Seungmin and Jeongin shrugging before flopping onto the couch. 

Changbin let go of them as soon as the door shut. “Alright. I know what you two have been up to. Wanting to get everyone back together again behind our backs.” The two blondes exchanged nervous looks. “And I want to help. It was never my choice, for us all to drift apart. Neither of you were there, okay? It was the worst experience of my life, and it wasn’t until Yongbok joined our school that I thought I would ever find friendship like that again.”

“Aw, Binnie!” Felix cooed, jumping on him in a hug that Changbin tried to fight out of.

“Anyway. I told half of them that certain people were coming and that certain people weren’t, so here we are. All eight of us.” Changbin concluded his explanation, and the other two just stared at him. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea of mine, but I just wanted to help and I saw an opportunity so I took it. It’s gonna be fine, right?”

“They’re in the kitchen right now.” Chan blinked. “That’s where we keep the knives!”

“Let go of me!” Hyunjin violently yanked his arm out of Jisung grip, shooting daggers at his kidnapper. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m just as mad at Changbin for this as you are and I’m definitely going to get him back later, but now we’re here we might as well try to get along. For Chan’s sake.” 

“You’re kidding, right? I can’t even pretend that I’m okay with being in the same room as you!” Hyunjin scorned, disgust scrunching his face up. “Even just this is making me sick!”

“Oh, stop being so dramatic for one second!” Jisung burst out with, reaching his limit. “It’s Chan’s birthday, we haven’t celebrated his birthday in years. I don’t know where _your_ morals lie, but I’m not ruining this day for him. Either we try to get along for _one night_ , or one of us leaves and it’s not going to be me.”

“It’s not going to be me either!” Hyunjin shot back. 

Jisung let out a heavy breath. “Then we’re agreed. We remain civil until tomorrow morning, then you can go back to hating me all you want. Deal?” Jisung took Hyunjin’s silence as a confirmation, and extended his hand to shake on it. Hyunjin stared at it in disdain. 

“I’m not touching that, I don’t know where it’s been.”

Changbin, Chan and Felix came back into the living room just as Hyunjin and Jisung also reappeared, catching Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin’s attention. The eight of them stared at each other, not knowing what the next move should be, until Jisung broke into his signature grin. “Well, then. Let’s get this party started!” He almost went to pat Hyunjin on the shoulder, as if that was supposed to notify everyone that everything was fine, but Hyunjin jumped out of the way quickly and fell into the armchair, trying to keep his face from looking moody. 

The rest of the evening went on quite well, despite its bumpy start. They revisited the games room, filled to the brim with state of the art technology as well as retro arcade games, and wasted away the next few hours throwing darts, playing pool, and competing at every and any computer game Chan had in stock. Hyunjin and Jisung stayed well away from each other, yet still managed to stay with the group, which was good enough for everyone else.   
Chan’s parents remained upstairs in their room most of the time, something Chan was kind of grateful for as he didn’t really want to speak to his dad after what happened at Dr Choi’s office, even if he did apologise profusely. His mother insisted, however, on bringing everyone into the dining room so they could cut the cake that Mother Cook lovingly prepared and for Chan to open presents. 

“Seriously, that woman has magical hands or something, everything she makes is delicious.” Jisung gushed, shoving another forkful of cake into his mouth before he even swallowed his previous one. 

Felix giggled quietly to himself, catching Chan’s attention enough to give him a questioning look. “Oh, nothing, I was just remembering the time we tried to bake a cake and... your face...” He resolved into more giggles, thinking about the look on Chan’s face when he flour-bombed it.

Feeling his cheeks warm up, Chan decided to tease Felix back. He leaned into his ear. “And, if I remember correctly, what followed after...” Felix suddenly recollected the moment they shared, his face falling soberly as his heart pulsed faster for a moment. Chan smiled. “We really should schedule that rain check soon. Pick up where we left off. With the cake, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Felix rolled his eyes, shoving Chan’s shoulder lightly as a way to hide how his heart was drumming against his rib cage. Chan expelled a laugh, the both of them tuning back into the main conversation while trying not to look at the other. 

Chan’s mother couldn’t help but watch the two of them, a warm, fond feeling spreading through her at how sincerely Chan was smiling at the freckled boy. “Everyone bunch together, I want to get a group picture.” They gathered in so they were all in shot, and Chan dropped his arm over Felix’s shoulders, yanking him closer. The eight of them posed, some holding up finger hearts while others threw up peace signs but Felix just hoped his face wasn’t as pink as he thought it was. At Chan’s action, he couldn’t help but look at the grinning boy who was winking while holding a peace sign to his face, suddenly overwhelmed with an influx of emotion. Felix really liked Chan, and it was definitely more than just as a friend. 

Once the picture was taken, and everyone resumed their previous conversations, Felix allowed himself to breathe out, “Come with me for a second.” Chan raised a curious eyebrow, but followed Felix nonetheless as the two slipped away from the group undetected, and ended up in the living room. Felix rushed to his bag quickly, while Chan bided his time by slowly moving into the room. “Okay, close your eyes.”

Chan did as was requested, until he heard Felix say he could open them again. All he saw was Felix smiling coyly at him, but held his hands firmly behind his back. “So, I was thinking about what to get you, which was so much harder than you think it would be, but after thinking about it for a bit...” Finally, he revealed the item behind his back and Chan’s eyes widened, his mouth opening into a wide smile. It was a medium-sized grey-and-white wolf plushie. Felix carried on, as Chan took the present, hugging it to his chest. “I know it’s not much, but I thought, you know, wolves howl at the moon, and you’re my moonshine- I mean- not, not _my_ moonshine, but, you know, that’s what I call you, so- so, yeah.” Felix wanted to get sucked into a vortex at that moment. 

Chan smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, sunshine. I love it.” He pulled the shorter boy into a hug, taking him by surprise. Felix melted into his embrace, savouring the warmth that radiated from his arms wrapped around him, as Chan rested his chin on the top of Felix’s head. If they could, both boys would have chosen to stay like that forever, but Felix willed himself to pull away from Chan as he was scared the other would feel his heartbeat. 

“Um, so, what are you gonna call it?” He asked, trying not to meet Chan’s gaze as he was convinced he would crumble if he did as such. 

Chan hummed in thought. “I don’t know. Maybe, Wolf Chan?”

“Wow, so creative.” Felix joked, and Chan rolled his eyes, coltishly. 

At this point, the others joined them, eventually figuring out the two had disappeared, not without making a few jokes about where and what they could have been getting up to. Since they had a few more hours of the evening to kill, they started brainstorming ideas on what to do next, when Changbin suddenly gasped. “Oh, we should watch _The Lost Boys_! Felix hasn’t seen it, and it used to be a tradition, to watch it on your birthday.” Chan immediately tensed up. 

See, Chan hadn’t touched his box of VHS tapes as he wanted to preserve the memory of his childhood as much as he could. However, that wasn’t the only reason he hadn’t watched the 80’s classics in a long while. 

“Uh, you know I- I don’t think I brought the cassettes with me. They must be back in, um, back in Australia.” Chan lied, forcing a relaxed smile on his face. “You know what we should do, though? We could play Truth or Dare?”

“What are we, middle schoolers?” Hyunjin scoffed lightly.

Minho made a noise that indicated he had an idea. “We could play Truth or Dare, but if you don’t answer the truth, you take a shot!”

“A shot of what?” Seungmin asked, blankly and Minho gave him a look. 

“A vaccine shot- a shot of alcohol, duh.” Minho turned to the group with an elfish smile, before pulling out a bottle of soju from his backpack. Oh dear. 

Chan wasn’t sure why he let Minho convince them to play Truth or Dare with alcohol but, like he told his father earlier, he couldn’t go back and change the past. The Lost Boys were wasted. Okay, not completely, but most of them seemed to be a few shots away from collapsing. Chan was completely fine, he wasn’t much of a drinker despite the intense drinking culture in Australia, but he managed to survive the evening without taking a shot, until he was asked a particular question. 

“Bang Chan..!” Minho pointed at him, rocking back and forth as he tried to keep his eyes open. “Who do you have a crush on?”

Now, Chan had options here. He could lie, and say he didn’t have a crush on anyone, while sitting next to Changbin who knew he did, which would maybe anger him as that answer could potentially upset Felix. Or, he could admit that he had a crush on Felix, making things awkward as he didn’t want the first time he confessed to Felix to be in front of everyone, while _still_ angering Changbin as he told him to sort himself out before he even thought of doing as much. Or...

Chan made a face as the liquid rushed down his throat, burning it. Felix watched him, his mind churning as he tried to figure out why Chan would opt out of answering that question. 

“Seo Changbin!” Jeongin blurted out, leaning his head against Hyunjin’s shoulder, his eyes falling shut against his will. “Why do you keep your love poems a secret?” This caused the entire room to explode with words of surprise, Changbin’s own eyes widening incredibly. 

“Gee, thanks for that Jeongin.” He muttered. “I guess it’s not a secret anymore, but I just didn’t care for people to know... now, they do. Let’s move on.” He scanned the room, his eyes falling on Jisung, the alcohol speaking before he could. “Han Jisung! Do you think you still would have made the team if Hyunjin didn’t sprain his wrist?”

The room fell silent, but only for a second as a drunk Jisung burst out with, “Of course! Have you seen me? I’m a basketball-throwing machine! No way I wouldn’t have made the team! There’s a reason I’m the team captain, you know?! What kind of question is that?! I could beat Hwang Hyunjin even in my sleep-“ He fell back onto his sleeping bag, immediately knocking out. Chan was sober enough to fully comprehend the situation, snapping his head to Hyunjin who was staring at the floor with a dazed expression. It was hard to tell if Hyunjin had absorbed Jisung’s words or not, but considering the usually expressive boy didn’t say a word, Chan hoped he hadn’t. 

Eventually, most of the boys had passed out one way or another, the remaining boys who were conscious deciding to call it a night. An unknown number of hours had passed and Chan was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He left his bottle of melatonin in his room, and he wasn’t bothered to get up and retrieve it, so he stayed lying in his sleeping bag on the living room floor, unable to fall asleep. It hadn’t even occurred to him that if he did fall asleep, he might have the nightmare again, and he didn’t want to risk that in front of his friends, so maybe not sleeping was the best decision. The one shot of soju was gone from his system, and Chan allowed his mind to wander to different things. His birthday may have started off not in the best way, but it definitely ended perfectly. He couldn’t believe that Hyunjin and Jisung had managed to spend an entire day with each other and no one had ended up emotionally or physically injured. Was Operation: Found Boys finally complete? 

“Chan.”

His voice startled Chan, as he glanced to his right where Felix was curled up in his sleeping bag. “Yeah?”

“You can’t sleep?” 

Chan hummed in reply. “You can’t either?” Felix hummed back. “What’s on your mind?”

Felix audibly sighed. “My grandad.” 

Chan turned onto his side so he could look at Felix properly, suddenly feeling concerned, as the boy continued, rushing through his words. “He’s ill. Like, really ill. There’s something wrong with his heart, and they can’t fix it, so he needs a heart transplant but he’s not a priority and his name hasn’t moved up the list for donors in months. I’m just worried that maybe they won’t find him one in time before...” He trailed off, his breath catching up with him. Chan felt for his hand in the dark, holding onto it tightly. “Dad claims that it’s from a lack of good health, that he doesn’t eat right or exercise properly. Grandad... he says it’s a broken heart from my grandmother passing. He’s a hopeless romantic like that.” Felix let out a soft, humourless laugh. 

“Hey.” Chan spoke delicately, Felix lifting his head to meet his eyes in the dim lighting. “Your granddad is going to be fine. I promise.”

“Chan, you can’t make promises like that-“

Chan squeezed his hand, interlocking their fingers. “He will be. Trust me.” 

All Felix could do was stare back at Chan, a calm quiet falling over the two, until he whispered, “What were you thinking about, that you couldn’t sleep?” 

There was another moment of silence. “I was just letting it sink in, how grateful I am for all of you. I was really worried that I would come here and that I’d be all alone. You know, back in Sydney I was friends with most people but there wasn’t really anyone that I clicked with, not the way I did with you guys. Except for Jack.” Chan froze. Maybe the alcohol hadn’t properly left his system after all. “Jack was my best friend, the whole time I was living in Sydney, he was the only one who I could truly rely on. He was always looking out for me, and- god, he was so weird. He would turn up to school wearing a cape because he thought that they were cool, he always wore sunglasses inside because he thought they made him look mysterious, and he would take notes using coloured crayons.” Chan let out a laugh, causing Felix to laugh along with him. “He’s the one that made me dye my hair, he practically forced the bleach onto my scalp. Jack was good at that, making you try new things to break out of your comfort zone. Always like, ‘Chris, you need to stop saying you _can’t_ and start saying you can’t _wait to try_ ’. He was the best.” 

“Chris?” Felix tittered, confusedly. Chan explained how that was the name he went by when he was living in Australia. “Hmm, Chris... interesting. But, Jack sounds amazing.” Felix smiled. “Do you miss him?”

And just like that, all the happy memories came crashing down and reality hit Chan like a frying pan to the face. “We should try to go to sleep, it’s really late.”

“Oh. Okay.” Felix spoke quietly, dread filling his stomach as he was worried he said something wrong. “Hey, you know what helps me when I can’t sleep? I have this music box that plays this really nice melody, and the second I hear it... out like a light.”

Chan buried himself deeper in his sleeping bag. “What does it sound like?”

Thinkingly, Felix paused before he started humming the tune of his grandmother’s music box. Like magic, the sounds of Felix’s deep melodious hums had managed to instantly cause Chan to be overcome with serenity, his eyelids beginning to feel heavy. He was almost like a siren, the tune carrying Chan into a deep sleep eventually, Felix watching the curly haired boy drift off. He reached a hand up and delicately raked his fingers through Chan’s hair, before feeling his own eyes shut and consciousness fade. 

Morning broke, the thin sunlight filling the room through a crack where the curtains didn’t quite meet. Forcing his eyes open, Chan almost jolted up as he wasn’t expecting to wake up with Felix Lee’s face right next to his. His hand was still tangled in Chan’s curls from the night before, Chan entrapped as all he could do was lay there and take in Felix’s features. He really was beautiful, from his eyelashes that fluttered against his soft skin, his adorable button nose, to his heart-shaped Cupid’s bow, his lips pursed in almost a pout. His cheekbones were dotted with freckles, somehow making him even more adorable, and Chan started to subconsciously count them as his eyes wavered across the boy’s face. He swore that Felix was the most ethereal human being that would ever exist.

“Oh, get over yourself!”

Felix awoke from the shouting that seemed to have come from the kitchen. Realising his position, he hurriedly pulled his hand away and sat up, prompting Chan to follow his movements. They blinked at each other, choosing to ignore the blush on their faces. “Was that Hyunjin?”

“This guy thinks he’s Korean LeBron James, or something! You’re not even tall enough to make it professionally!” Hyunjin seethed, just as Chan and Felix bursted into the kitchen. Everyone was there, Jeongin bent over the sink like he was throwing up or had just finished throwing up, while Minho was holding his head as if he had a migraine. Seungmin seemed fine, considering he hadn’t drunk much the night before, and Changbin was watching the whole scene with a bucket of popcorn he found in the pantry. 

Jisung groaned irritatedly. “Okay, firstly, just because you’re _taller_ than us doesn’t mean you’re _tall_. Secondly, why can’t you admit that I’m just better than you?”

Hyunjin clenched his fists, a spark in his eye like he was ready to tackle Jisung to the ground. “Take that back.”

“Not unless you make me.” Jisung stepped up to him, until they were nose to nose. 

“Monday after school. You and me, one-v-one. We finally settle this, and see who the better basketball player really is.” Hyunjin challenged, his stare boring into Jisung’s. 

“Oh, you’re so on. I can’t wait to prove my innocence _and_ you wrong. It’s been a long time coming.”

Chan pressed his lips together, as a wave of worry rippled through his body, a deep feeling of impending doom looming over their heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: can you tell how in love with felix I am? ;-;

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: god I waffle so much... this will be multiple parts but it’s already so long I have no idea if it will be a two-parter or a ten-parter, who even knows anymore, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless :) <3


End file.
